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    If It’s So Easy, Do It Yourself

    | Connecticut, USA | Top

    (We get a phone call on a Thursday night in December, the busiest season in catering.)

    Customer: “May I speak to the owner?”

    Me: “This is the owner. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “NO, I mean the guy who is the owner.”

    Me: “That’s my husband. I’m sorry, he is busy at the moment. Is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “I need a catering menu emailed.”

    Me: “I can certainly do that for you. When is your event?”

    Customer:¬†”Saturday.”

    Me: “This Saturday? Like two days from now?”

    Customer: ¬†”Yes.”

    Me: “Well, I apologize but we are completely booked for this Saturday.”

    Customer: “That’s why I wanted to talk to the other owner. I spoke to him two weeks ago and he said you were not booked.”

    Me: “We weren’t booked two weeks ago, but we are now.”

    Customer: “Well, I’ve already sent out the invitations, and I need food for my party.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we are completely booked. We already have three large parties, and we just couldn’t possibly take on a fourth.”

    Customer: “Can you recommend another caterer?”

    Me: “Not really.¬†I’ve never used another caterer, so I can’t recommend one.”

    Customer: “Haven’t you ever been to a party catered by another caterer?”

    Me: “We’re caterers. We don’t go to parties. We work at other people’s parties. ¬†”

    Customer: “IT’S ONLY 25 PEOPLE!”

    Me: “Um… okay.”

    Customer: “You said you have three parties. Couldn’t you just make enough extra food for 25 people and come over and serve it?”

    Me: “You mean cater the party?”

    Customer: “No, just make some food and bring it over and serve it, and clean up afterwards. It’s fairly easy, isn’t it?”

    (I adore it when people tell me my 16 hour a day job is easy.)