When You Fail To Plan, You Plan To Fail… And To Piss Off Your Friends
I had plans to go away on vacation to the Caribbean for five nights with a long-time friend. It was not all-inclusive, so we would be responsible for paying for food, drinks, and any activities.
We were discussing our plans.
Friend: “How much are you bringing in cash?”
Me: “I’m bringing $300 cash, plus my debit and credit cards.”
Friend: “I’m going to bring $300 cash, too, but I’m not bringing any cards. I’m on a budget, and $300 is my limit.”
Me: “That only comes to around $60 per day. This isn’t one of the cheaper Caribbean islands, so food and drink alone won’t leave you with much left over. You need to factor in cabs, incidentals, or any activities we may decide to do. And you never know if an emergency will come up where you will need money.”
Friend: “That’s why I have you!”
And she started to laugh. That pissed me off to no end.
Me: “We are both adults who are responsible for our own selves. It would be one thing if you lost your purse and needed money; I’d float you the money before you even had time to ask. But to purposely use me as your backup ATM is not going to work. Not that I know what you’re up to, I’m not going along with it. If you run out of money, you will just be a**ed out and hungry. You need to bring your cards with you for your own good.”
Friend: “You don’t have to be so harsh!” *Pauses* “Fine. I’ll bring some extra money, but I’m not bringing cards.”
Me: “Do what you want, but if there’s an emergency, you are on your own.”
I posted about this online to vent my frustration, and I got a lot of feedback and suggestions that truly did save the vacation. I’ll hit the highlights.
Some commenters said that the hotel would want a credit card on file from the person who made the reservation. [Friend] was the one who booked the vacation; she put the whole thing on her credit card because she wanted the card “points”. I told her that because the reservation was booked through a third-party app, the hotel would need the original card used to make the reservation, so she was on the hook to bring her credit card. I have no idea if that was true or not, but it sounded good based on what everyone commented! She was not happy that her own greed got her, but at least she brought a credit card.
Others mentioned that [Friend] was going to sulk. And sulk she did. When we got to the airport:
Me: “I’m not going to spend this vacation in your misery. We should hash this out right now.”
Friend: “Your tone is very rude! It’s like you’re accusing me of trying to mooch off of you!”
She was.
Me: “Put yourself in my shoes. You’re deliberately being irresponsible, and you told me to my face that I’m your backup plan and laughed about it. It made me feel used and put-upon.”
Friend: “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Me: “Thank you. I’m sorry I was so harsh.”
Some commenters said [Friend] would try to be content with cutting corners. Cabs were prohibitively expensive on the island, and they didn’t take credit cards. So, [Friend] looked up how to take the local buses. I was fine with that until we waited forty-five minutes in the heat for a bus to take us to the mall. (Island time…) Yup, we only took cabs after that.
A few mentioned that [Friend] would probably go through her cash in the first two days. They were close: it took two and a half days. There were several markets with local jewelry and crafts that she absolutely loved and they only took… cash. So, she ran through her money rather quickly. She only brought her credit card, not her debit card. So, as someone suggested, I made her Zelle me right then and there the money I took out of the ATM for her. She paid for the exchange and ATM fees.
[Friend] “tried it” with the meals; she ordered something big and wanted to “split” the bill evenly. Normally, I would not nitpick about that, but I just didn’t want her to feel like she’d still gotten one over on me in any way. Since she used her credit card for meals (to save the cash she had), I paid what I owed in cash and she paid the rest (her higher portion) with her credit card.
Overall, we had a good time. We did a few excursions, had shopping and beach time, and relaxed. She even told me it was a good thing she’d brought her credit card. Things only got weird when I asked her to Zelle me right then and there at the ATM before I gave her the cash, but she knew why I was being so hard-nosed about it.