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  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
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  • Oh Sweet Irony, How Thou Dost Tease Me

    | Peoria, IL, USA | Uncategorized

    (I am a booth girl at a car wash: I tell customers about our products, mark their choice, and give them a ticket. There is a giant 4′ by 2′ sign on my booth that lists everything in detail.)

    Me: “Hi, can I suggest our Premier package today?”

    Customer: “How much does it cost?”

    Me: *motions towards board* “$16.95.”

    Customer: “What comes with it?”

    Me: *motions to board again, listing options*

    Customer: “What’s the difference between that and the number 2?”

    Me: *motions third time, lists options*

    Customer: “What about he number 2 and number 1? Does number 3 come with the clean car guarantee? Is there an oversize charge for my Denali?”

    (ALL of this is listed in huge letters right in front of her face. She finally makes a decision.)

    Customer: “I’ll take the number 3, but I don’t want any wax.”

    Me: “No problem, I’ll mark your window to let them know to skip the wax.”

    Customer: “I sure hope they read!”

    Me: *ultimate facepalm*

    I’m Sure They Can Make An Exception

    | Colorado, USA | Uncategorized

    (An elderly woman drives up in her Mercedes and asks about our services.)

    Woman in her Mercedes, after hearing prices: “These car washes aren’t expensive enough!” *drives away*

    Manager: “I would’ve charged her more if she asked.”

    Captain Obvious Strikes Back

    | Southeast USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Yes, how much is your ‘four dollar car wash?'”

    Me: “It’s four dollars, ma’am.”

    The Return of Captain Obvious
    Captain Obvious To The Rescue
    Belaboring The Obvious

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