Screaming For Horse Power Makes You Hoarse

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Transportation

(Customer #1 has come in to exchange her vehicle, as the original car had a mechanical problem. Although she is visibly frustrated, she has remained polite during the entire exchange.)

Customer #1: “If I seem b****y at all to you, I apologize. I am just so annoyed at this car!”

Me: “If there is anybody that should be apologizing, it should be us. We should have checked the car better.”

Customer #1: “Well, you are doing a wonderful job, and I just have to remind myself not to get mad at you. It is not your fault, and you are the one helping me. The last thing I want is to get upset at you in particular!”

Me: “Ma’am, even with how frustrated you are feeling, you are still one of the politest customers we have had all day.”

(As we are finishing the exchange, Customer #2 comes in being helped by my co-worker.)

Customer #2: “This is bulls***! Last time I was here, my insurance paid for a much nicer car than what you’re giving me! Why are you lying to me?”

Coworker: “Sir, I assure you, this is the car that your insurance company will cover.”

(While Customer #2 continues his swearing rant, Customer #1 talks to me.)

Customer #1: “This is why I am glad I was able to keep my cool. I feel better knowing that I didn’t end up acting like that!”

Me: “I told you. Even upset, you are one of the nicest customers we have here!”

Car Free And Care-Free

| Norway | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Top

(I’m female and work at a smaller car rental business. I’ve had my fair share of bizarre customers, but this one takes the cake.)

Caller: “Hello! I would like to rent a car!”

Me: “Of course! We have many different cars. Got any idea of what size you need?”

Caller: “No, just the smallest and cheapest car you have, for one day only.”

Me: “Okay, then. The price is [price]. Remember to bring a credit card and a driver’s license when you come to pick it up.”

Caller: “My own?”

Me: “Um yes. Your own credit card and driver’s license.”

Caller: “But I don’t have a license!”

Me: “Well, if you lost it, you can swing by the nearest police station. They can print out a valid replacement.”

Caller: “But I don’t have one!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t help you then. You need a license to drive a car in Norway.”

Caller: “IT’S JUST A RENTAL CAR!”

Me: “Yes, but it’s still a car, and you drive it on roads. Therefore, you need training and a license.”

Caller: “Are you making fun of me?! Are you stupid?! I want to talk to a man!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there are no men working here. There are just two girls here at work.”

Caller: “This is an outrage! I know the law, and a rental car is not a real car! It’s like a bumper car! You know, like the ones in a theme park! You don’t need a license for that!”

Me: “Um, what?!”

Caller: “Yeah! I bet you didn’t know that! It’s okay, you’re a girl. I don’t expect girls to know things like that. I just need a car I can have some fun with. You know, drive around in circles and such.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, sir. But may I suggest [theme park]? They have bumper cars. You can even crash them into things.”

Caller: “Seriously?”

Me: “Yup. It’s way cheaper than renting a car.”

Caller: “Thank you! I just love driving in circles!” *hangs up*

When In Rome (Or Spain)

| Madrid, Spain | Top, Tourists/Travel

(An American customer approaches me as I work at the customer service counter.)

Customer: “I’d like to make a complaint!”

Me: “Sure, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Why are all the road signs in f***ing Spanish? Aren’t you all supposed to be speaking English? If you’re going to live here, speak English!”

Me: “We are in Spain, sir. Spanish is our official language.”

Lost-And-Found-Again-Land

| Halifax, Canada | Tourists/Travel

(My customer asks me for a map and says he is going to be heading over to Newfoundland. I give him a map and point it out for him.)

Customer: “Why do you spell it ‘Newfoundland’? It’s New Finland.”

Me: “Well, its pronounced sort of like New Finland, but it’s actually Newfoundland, as in ‘this is a New Found Land.'”

Customer: “No, it’s New Finland.”

Me: “I can guarantee you there are not many Finnish people there.”

Customer: “Of course not. They left 1,000 years ago!”

Sorry, We’re Fresh Out Of DeLoreans

| Saskatchewan, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “I would like to book a car for the 21st.”

Me: “Okay, so August 21st?”

Customer: “No, July 21st. We are in July.”

Me: “Sir, it’s July 24th today.”

Customer: “Oh…” *pauses* “…I’ll call you back.”

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