Car Free And Care-Free

| Norway | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Top

(I’m female and work at a smaller car rental business. I’ve had my fair share of bizarre customers, but this one takes the cake.)

Caller: “Hello! I would like to rent a car!”

Me: “Of course! We have many different cars. Got any idea of what size you need?”

Caller: “No, just the smallest and cheapest car you have, for one day only.”

Me: “Okay, then. The price is [price]. Remember to bring a credit card and a driver’s license when you come to pick it up.”

Caller: “My own?”

Me: “Um yes. Your own credit card and driver’s license.”

Caller: “But I don’t have a license!”

Me: “Well, if you lost it, you can swing by the nearest police station. They can print out a valid replacement.”

Caller: “But I don’t have one!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t help you then. You need a license to drive a car in Norway.”

Caller: “IT’S JUST A RENTAL CAR!”

Me: “Yes, but it’s still a car, and you drive it on roads. Therefore, you need training and a license.”

Caller: “Are you making fun of me?! Are you stupid?! I want to talk to a man!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there are no men working here. There are just two girls here at work.”

Caller: “This is an outrage! I know the law, and a rental car is not a real car! It’s like a bumper car! You know, like the ones in a theme park! You don’t need a license for that!”

Me: “Um, what?!”

Caller: “Yeah! I bet you didn’t know that! It’s okay, you’re a girl. I don’t expect girls to know things like that. I just need a car I can have some fun with. You know, drive around in circles and such.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, sir. But may I suggest [theme park]? They have bumper cars. You can even crash them into things.”

Caller: “Seriously?”

Me: “Yup. It’s way cheaper than renting a car.”

Caller: “Thank you! I just love driving in circles!” *hangs up*

When In Rome (Or Spain)

| Madrid, Spain | Top, Tourists/Travel

(An American customer approaches me as I work at the customer service counter.)

Customer: “I’d like to make a complaint!”

Me: “Sure, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Why are all the road signs in f***ing Spanish? Aren’t you all supposed to be speaking English? If you’re going to live here, speak English!”

Me: “We are in Spain, sir. Spanish is our official language.”

Lost-And-Found-Again-Land

| Halifax, Canada | Tourists/Travel

(My customer asks me for a map and says he is going to be heading over to Newfoundland. I give him a map and point it out for him.)

Customer: “Why do you spell it ‘Newfoundland’? It’s New Finland.”

Me: “Well, its pronounced sort of like New Finland, but it’s actually Newfoundland, as in ‘this is a New Found Land.'”

Customer: “No, it’s New Finland.”

Me: “I can guarantee you there are not many Finnish people there.”

Customer: “Of course not. They left 1,000 years ago!”

Sorry, We’re Fresh Out Of DeLoreans

| Saskatchewan, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “I would like to book a car for the 21st.”

Me: “Okay, so August 21st?”

Customer: “No, July 21st. We are in July.”

Me: “Sir, it’s July 24th today.”

Customer: “Oh…” *pauses* “…I’ll call you back.”

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 3

| Rhinelander, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(My car had recently been struck by another driver, and his insurance was paying for a rental car for me while my car was in the shop.)

Clerk: “Does your insurance cover rental cars?”

Me: “I’m not sure.”

Clerk: “It would probably say on your insurance card.”

Me: “It’s out in my car. I’ll run out and get it.”

(I walk out the door and stare at the parking lot full of rental cars for about five seconds, and turn around to head back inside. The clerk looks at me with an inquisitive expression as I enter.)

Me: “That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Ever.”

Related:
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 2
Pre(Car)ious Insurance

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