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    Misconstrued Rude

    | CA, USA | Awesome Customers

    (There are only two of us who work in the office. My coworker is male and I am female, so when customers cannot remember the name of the employee, we can still figure out who helped the customer.)

    Customer: “Hi, I called earlier this morning with a question about my bill. I don’t remember who I was talking to, but I was extremely rude to him, and I just wanted to come by and apologize for my behavior.”

    Me: “Umm… wow. Okay, let me get him for you…”

    (I go and get my coworker.)

    Coworker: “Yes, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I wanted to come in and apologize in person for how I acted on the phone this morning. I was rude, and there was no excuse for it, so I am sorry.”

    Coworker: “Wow. Thanks, but, uh… I haven’t gotten any rude calls today.”

    Customer: “Then maybe it was another coworker of yours?”

    Me: “No, it’s just the two of us here.”

    Customer: *turning to me* “Then maybe I talked to you, although I seem to remember talking to a man.”

    Me: “I don’t think you were talking to me. I also haven’t received any rude calls today.”

    Customer: “Really? There are people who are ruder than me?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Coworker: “All the time.”

    Customer: “Then I would like to apologize on behalf of all your customers who made me seem nice and friendly!”

    (One thing I’ve learned from years of customer service: if you are worried about being THAT customer, chances are good that you aren’t!)

    Wait, Don’t Hate

    | Tullamarine, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a busy day at the airport and I am working two separate car rental counters; although they are under different names, both are owned by the same company. We usually have someone else working the other counter, but because we expect the day to be slower my boss asks me to work both. The longer my line gets, the more agitated the customers are getting.)

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up my rental car, and I have a reservation.”

    (He hands me his confirmation page for the rental, and I begin creating his rental contract.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like it will be a few minutes before we have the car size you reserved clean and available for you.”

    Customer: “Oh, well that’s ridiculous! I have a reservation that I made three months ago, and you don’t have my car ready?!”

    (Although he did book in advance, I notice that the customer is actually four hours early to pick up his car.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Let me try to call down to our service guys and see what they are cleaning right now. We’ll get you into that car as soon as it is finished getting detailed.”

    Customer: “If they aren’t working on the size car that I have reserved, I do not want it!”

    Me: “Of course, but if it is a bigger car you will automatically get a free upgrade to that car class.”

    Customer: “If you cant get the size car that I have reserved available, then I demand a discount or I will go somewhere else!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t give you a discount for us not having the car class you reserved 4 hours before your actual reserved time. I apologize for the inconvenience, but the free upgrade offer still stands if you would like it.”

    Customer: “I do not want a bigger car because that is not what I reserved! If that is all you can do, give me back my confirmation page, and I will find someone else to match the rates and actually honor my reservation!”

    Me: “You are more than welcome to do that, sir, but if you decide to come back for a car, you will have to wait in line again.”

    Customer: “Oh, I won’t be back!”

    (My coworker has now arrived at my sister company’s counter, which is right next to mine. She is wearing the same uniform as me. As soon as she gets ready to help customers, half of the people in my line form one in front of her. When I finish my last customer, I look at her line and see the stubborn customer standing at the end. When my coworker begins to help the person in front of the stubborn customer, I walk into the connected back office and back out to my coworker’s counter to help.)

    Me: “I can help whoever is next.”

    (The stubborn customer looks up, at first excited for it to be his turn. However, when he makes eye contact with me, his smile falls. He looks angry and confused.)

    Customer: “Why are you at this counter now?!”

    Me: “These two companies are sister companies, so I help out when she gets a line, and vice versa.”

    Customer: *he hands me his confirmation page* “So, I’m guessing this makes it that much easier to match my rate then, huh?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (I look down and begin typing away, and when I get to the screen that shows me which vehicles are available, I can see that the car class he reserved is available. However, now there is a ‘WAIT’, as someone that has reserved the same car class has already been waiting.)

    Me: “It appears that you are right on time for your reservation, but I’m sorry, sir; there appears to be a wait on cars. If you would like to complete your contract, I can get you in line to get your car as quickly as possible.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me!?”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry but I’m not. You were actually the first customer to be in line to get a car when you left my counter. Unfortunately, you are now are behind other customers that are waiting.”

    (The customer doesn’t say another word; instead, he snatches the confirmation page from my hands and proceeds to the doors of the concourse. I watch him for a minute until he gets into a taxi and takes off.)

    Screaming For Horse Power Makes You Hoarse

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Transportation

    (Customer #1 has come in to exchange her vehicle, as the original car had a mechanical problem. Although she is visibly frustrated, she has remained polite during the entire exchange.)

    Customer #1: “If I seem b****y at all to you, I apologize. I am just so annoyed at this car!”

    Me: “If there is anybody that should be apologizing, it should be us. We should have checked the car better.”

    Customer #1: “Well, you are doing a wonderful job, and I just have to remind myself not to get mad at you. It is not your fault, and you are the one helping me. The last thing I want is to get upset at you in particular!”

    Me: “Ma’am, even with how frustrated you are feeling, you are still one of the politest customers we have had all day.”

    (As we are finishing the exchange, Customer #2 comes in being helped by my co-worker.)

    Customer #2: “This is bulls***! Last time I was here, my insurance paid for a much nicer car than what you’re giving me! Why are you lying to me?”

    Coworker: “Sir, I assure you, this is the car that your insurance company will cover.”

    (While Customer #2 continues his swearing rant, Customer #1 talks to me.)

    Customer #1: “This is why I am glad I was able to keep my cool. I feel better knowing that I didn’t end up acting like that!”

    Me: “I told you. Even upset, you are one of the nicest customers we have here!”

    Car Free And Care-Free

    | Norway | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Top

    (I’m female and work at a smaller car rental business. I’ve had my fair share of bizarre customers, but this one takes the cake.)

    Caller: “Hello! I would like to rent a car!”

    Me: “Of course! We have many different cars. Got any idea of what size you need?”

    Caller: “No, just the smallest and cheapest car you have, for one day only.”

    Me: “Okay, then. The price is [price]. Remember to bring a credit card and a driver’s license when you come to pick it up.”

    Caller: “My own?”

    Me: “Um yes. Your own credit card and driver’s license.”

    Caller: “But I don’t have a license!”

    Me: “Well, if you lost it, you can swing by the nearest police station. They can print out a valid replacement.”

    Caller: “But I don’t have one!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t help you then. You need a license to drive a car in Norway.”

    Caller: “IT’S JUST A RENTAL CAR!”

    Me: “Yes, but it’s still a car, and you drive it on roads. Therefore, you need training and a license.”

    Caller: “Are you making fun of me?! Are you stupid?! I want to talk to a man!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there are no men working here. There are just two girls here at work.”

    Caller: “This is an outrage! I know the law, and a rental car is not a real car! It’s like a bumper car! You know, like the ones in a theme park! You don’t need a license for that!”

    Me: “Um, what?!”

    Caller: “Yeah! I bet you didn’t know that! It’s okay, you’re a girl. I don’t expect girls to know things like that. I just need a car I can have some fun with. You know, drive around in circles and such.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry, sir. But may I suggest [theme park]? They have bumper cars. You can even crash them into things.”

    Caller: “Seriously?”

    Me: “Yup. It’s way cheaper than renting a car.”

    Caller: “Thank you! I just love driving in circles!” *hangs up*

    When In Rome (Or Spain)

    | Madrid, Spain | Top, Tourists/Travel

    (An American customer approaches me as I work at the customer service counter.)

    Customer: “I’d like to make a complaint!”

    Me: “Sure, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Why are all the road signs in f***ing Spanish? Aren’t you all supposed to be speaking English? If you’re going to live here, speak English!”

    Me: “We are in Spain, sir. Spanish is our official language.”

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