November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

The Mother Of All Lies

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(I work for a rental company and overhear one of our managers informing a woman in her 40s that to add her mother as a driver it’ll cost an extra $10 a day unless it’s her spouse.)

Woman: “I don’t want to pay an extra $10! I want to add my wife onto the add drivers area, then.”

Manager: “Uh, what?”

Woman: “What? Isn’t gay marriage legal in Indiana?!”

Manager: “Yes, gay marriage is legal. However, you just told me that she was your mother.”

Woman: “No! She is my gay lover and we have been married for two years!”

(Awkward silence.)

Manager: “I would not be able to do that since you have just blatantly lied.”

(The woman stormed out.)

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 8

| Sharonville, OH, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Money, Transportation

(I work as the manager of a rental car office. It’s a slow day and so when the next customer enters, I take my time describing the extra insurance coverage benefits.)

Customer: “Seriously, do we have to go over all of this?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I want to make sure you are fully informed about what refusing the extra coverage means for you.”

Customer: “Fine, but let’s hurry up. I want to hit the road!”

Me: “No problem, sir. We’ve covered everything and you’ve declined all coverage. Please sign your contract and you are all set!”

(The customer signs and walks out the door. Not two minutes later, he walks back in looking sheepish.)

Me: “Hello, sir, did you forget something?”

Customer: “No, it’s just… Can I go ahead and get the extra insurance?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but why? You were adamant a minute ago that you didn’t want it.”

Customer: “I guess I changed my mind!”

(I walk out of the office and around to the back parking lot. Sitting on top of a decorative rock set to the entrance of the driveway is the car I just rented him – a brand new luxury car, with three of the four wheels hanging in the air.)

Customer: “I think I hit something. So can I get the insurance?”

Me: “Sir, you can’t get insurance AFTER you’ve damaged the car!”

Customer: “Why not?! I didn’t even leave the parking lot!”

(The guy ended up having to pay for the damage to the car, damage to the landscaping, the tow, and the days the car was unavailable for rent.)

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 7
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 7

| Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(A customer storms in waving his contract in the air.)

Customer: “I want this insurance coverage OFF! I returned this car yesterday and I realized today that the insurance coverage is still on here!”

Me: “Okay, let me have a look. It looks as though you accepted our collision coverage on the vehicle when you picked up.”

Customer: “But I didn’t even get in an accident so I would like a refund.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we can’t refund you for that just because you did not get into an accident. You agreed to take the collision coverage and would have signed for it on your contract.”

Customer: “No, this is stupid. I want this taken off now.”

Me: “I’m sorry. You have signed off on a legally binding contracting accepting our collision coverage for the four days you rented a car from us.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t even look at what I was signing so it’s not my fault.”

Me: “We go over every contract verbally with our customers and explain each part that we need a signature on. We also do not add coverage on without discussing it with our customers first so it seems you agreed to it at the time.”


Me: “Again, sir, I’m really sorry, but you signed for this on a legal contract.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager NOW!”

Me: “Absolutely.”

(My manager has been sitting in the back office listening the entire time. He walks out, and the customer repeats everything again.)

Manager: “Sir, you put your signature down on a legal contract accepting this coverage. I wish that I could get a full refund on my yearly insurance just because I did not get into an accident, but unfortunately it does not work that way.”

Customer: “Well I didn’t read what I was signing. This is f****** ridiculous. I ACCIDENTALLY SIGNED IT!”

Manager: “WELL, THEN, WE ACCIDENTALLY COVERED YOU AND THE VEHICLE, NOW DIDN’T WE? I suggest next time you put yourself in the position of signing a LEGAL DOCUMENT that you will spend time reading it and pay attention when someone explains it to you.”

(The customer promptly left.)

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 4

Driving You Crazy, Part 2

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Transportation

(It is the Friday before Memorial Day, and we only have enough cars for people who made reservations in advance. My coworker and I check our reservation sheet regularly and call any same-day reservations to tell them we do not have a car for them, and to check back at the end of the day in case of no-shows. We cannot reach one such customer, who comes in only an hour after making her reservation.)

Customer: “My name is [Customer], and I have a reservation for a car now.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but due to the holiday weekend, we are completely out of cars right now. I tried calling you—”

Customer: “How DARE you tell me you’re out of cars! I made a reservation! I demand a car!”

Me: “I understand you made a reservation, which is why I tried to call you as soon as possible to explain the situation. We will have more cars coming in about two hours, and if any come earlier, I will be happy to call you and let you know.”

Customer: “I don’t believe this! Can’t you tell I’m dropping this off at the airport? I need a car now!”

(Her reservation does confirm she is dropping her car off at an airport, but it is a two-day rental and the airport is about an hour away.)

Me: “I see that, ma’am. Unfortunately, that does not change the fact that we do not have a car for you on such short notice. As you can see, there are no cars in our parking lot right now. I’m not trying to keep one from you.”

Customer: “This is unbelievable! I am a [Rewards Club] member! I am guaranteed a car when I reserve it!”

Me: “You are guaranteed a car if you make a reservation at least 24 hours in advance. And because you are a member, you are put at the top of our list when more cars come in in the next couple of hours. Otherwise, I would be telling you to come around closing in case of no-shows.”

Customer: “I work for this company! I work at [Other Location]! I know how things work around here!”

(My patience has worn thin at this point. It is my second to last day at this job, my next job is secured, and I know there will be no real consequences if this customer ends up complaining to my manager.)

Me: “Then honestly, you should have known better than to make a same-day reservation at a small location on a holiday weekend.”

(The customer’s jaw drops, but she remains silent.)

Me: “As I said, I would be happy to give you a call as soon as we have a car for you, which will likely be in an hour or two. Is there a number I can better reach you at than [cell phone number on file]?”

Customer: “No… no, that’s a good number… I’ll wait for your call.”

(The customer literally ran out the door, which only barely closed behind her before my coworker burst into a laughing fit at my comment and the customer’s response. We had an unexpected return fifteen minutes later, and I rented that car to the customer less than an hour after her reservation.)


Driving You Crazy

Time For A Time-Out

| Maui, Hawaii, USA | Crazy Requests

Customer: “Can you tell me the name of the shopping complex that has the bus stop near you?”

Me: “Yes, just a moment while I look it up.”

Customer: “Can you ask someone near you?”

Me: “It’ll just take me a couple seconds to look it up. Just a moment, please.”

(I find it.)

Me: “It’s the [Name] shopping center.”

Customer: “I know you have someone there next to you. Can you please ask them?”

Me: “There is only me at the desk. There is no one else near me.”

Customer: “Please ask someone who lives there. I want to be sure.”

Me: “Let me put you on hold a moment.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(The customer is then placed in time-out, also known as ‘hold,’ while I do a face-palm and practice some deep-breathing techniques. After about a minute, I return to the phone call.)

Me: “It’s [Name] shopping center.”

Customer: “Thank you so much for checking with someone; I appreciate it.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

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