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    Appointment With Stupidity

    | Sandy, UT, USA |

    Me: “Service Center, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to make an appointment to get my oil changed.”

    Me: “Oh alright. Well, just so you know, you can come in whenever you are available during the week.”

    Customer: “So, Monday through Friday?”

    Me: “Yep!”

    Customer: “So, wait…we don‚Äôt need an appointment?”

    Me: “Nope, just come right in!”

    Customer: “So, what your saying is we don‚Äôt need an appointment?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I dunno about that.”

    Me: “About what?”

    Customer: “Not having an appointment.”

    Me: “Well, do you want me to put you down for an appointment?”

    Customer: “You just said I didn‚Äôt need one!”

    Me: “Well, so you’re not so confused, I can put you in whatever slot you want.”

    Customer: “No, I’ll just go somewhere else!”

    All Geared Up But Nowhere To Tow

    | Davenport, IA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [car dealership]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I have an issue with my car not starting.”

    Me: “Alright, do you need a tow truck?”

    Customer: “No, I got it started but I still want it looked at.”

    Me: “Alright, you can bring it right in.”

    Customer: “Will you turn the car off when I get it there?”

    Me: “Yes, we will need to turn it off to work on it.”

    Customer: “But what if it doesn’t start again?”

    Me: “Well, we will fix it.”

    Customer: “Well, just to be safe I want you to fix it without turning the car off.”

    Me: “We can’t do that. That would be unsafe for our technicians.”

    Customer: “I don‚Äôt give a d*** about your technicians. If you can’t work on the car the way I want, I will call someone else!”

    Me: “Well I‚Äôm sorry, we cant do that.”

    Customer: “Fine!” (Hangs up.)

    Coworker: “So how long do you think she is going to leave her car running?”

    Too Bad It Doesn’t Run On Stupidity

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Top

    (This was before hybrid cars or electric cars were mainstream. A man called about his Lexus that just stopped working after a few days, so we had it towed back to the dealership.)

    Customer: “I don’t know what happened; the car just stopped while I was driving, and almost caused an accident because of you people!”

    Me: “OK, let’s take a look.”

    (I couldn’t find any obvious issue, and all the free mechanics were giving the car a full once-over, trying to figure out the problem.)

    Customer: “I spent tens of thousands on this car! How the he** can you sell anything that would crap out in 2 days?!”

    (Just then I noticed the gas gauge was on ‘Empty’. I put a little gas in the engine and started it up.)

    Customer: “What?! For that amount of money, with the technologies these days, you still need to use gas?!”

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