So Stupid He Could Kick Himself

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Wild & Unruly

Customer: "What sort of fuel economy does this one have?"

Me: "Sir, you’re in the wrong lot. That’s another customer’s car."

Customer: "So this one’s reserved? What about the blue one over there?"

Me: "You need to go back to the front of the building. These are all the cars that other customers drove here in."

Customer: "Wait, what? So I can just drive them?"

Me: "No. You can test drive a specific unit of each of our models, but these cars belong to other people."

Customer: "So you’re just going to deprive me of everything? Fine! I’m leaving!"

(He kicks another car on the way out.)

Customer: "Wait… f***! That’s mine!”

Driven To Recession

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, ma’am. Are you interested in buying a car?”

Customer: “What kind of car is this?”

Me: “This is the new [model].”

Customer: “Wait! I haven’t seen one of those since the 1990’s!”

Me: “Yes, our brand actually brought out a new–”

Customer: “So you have a car here from the 1990’s, still have a new sticker price on it, and expect me to pay full price?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a new car.”

Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? You people know nothing about the car business! Why would you openly advertise that you couldn’t sell a car for over ten years? That tells me you’re an awful business!”

Me: “But ma’am, it’s not a car actually from a decade ago. It’s a remake of that car. It was made this year.”

Customer: “Either you’re a liar or this car company is a joke! This is why the recession took place, because of this!”

Almost Makes You Want To Re-Tire

| Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “They charged me $110 for working on my car?!”

Me: “What did you have done?”

Customer: “I just came because the car said service was needed on the car.”

Me: “Yes, you got an oil change and tire rotation, state inspection and a car wash.”

Customer: “Tire rotation? Aren’t they always like, rotating as I drive?”

Me: “Yes, but the tires are removed and swapped, the tires on the rear are moved to the front, and the fronts to the rear. It’s to help the tires wear out evenly.”

Customer: “They wear out?”

Me: “Eventually, yes. They do.”

Customer: “Why?”

(I try to describe traction, friction, and the breakdown of soft compounds like tire tread over concrete.)

Customer: *blank stare* “Isn’t my car pretty?”

(As the customer leaves, they pull on the door about three times before they see the push sign.)

Appointment With Stupidity

| Sandy, UT, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Service Center, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need to make an appointment to get my oil changed.”

Me: “Oh alright. Well, just so you know, you can come in whenever you are available during the week.”

Customer: “So, Monday through Friday?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “So, wait…we don‚Äôt need an appointment?”

Me: “Nope, just come right in!”

Customer: “So, what your saying is we don‚Äôt need an appointment?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I dunno about that.”

Me: “About what?”

Customer: “Not having an appointment.”

Me: “Well, do you want me to put you down for an appointment?”

Customer: “You just said I didn‚Äôt need one!”

Me: “Well, so you’re not so confused, I can put you in whatever slot you want.”

Customer: “No, I’ll just go somewhere else!”

All Geared Up But Nowhere To Tow

| Davenport, IA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [car dealership]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I have an issue with my car not starting.”

Me: “Alright, do you need a tow truck?”

Customer: “No, I got it started but I still want it looked at.”

Me: “Alright, you can bring it right in.”

Customer: “Will you turn the car off when I get it there?”

Me: “Yes, we will need to turn it off to work on it.”

Customer: “But what if it doesn’t start again?”

Me: “Well, we will fix it.”

Customer: “Well, just to be safe I want you to fix it without turning the car off.”

Me: “We can’t do that. That would be unsafe for our technicians.”

Customer: “I don‚Äôt give a d*** about your technicians. If you can’t work on the car the way I want, I will call someone else!”

Me: “Well I‚Äôm sorry, we cant do that.”

Customer: “Fine!” (Hangs up.)

Coworker: “So how long do you think she is going to leave her car running?”

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