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    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”

    Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”

    Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”

    Me: “What’s that?”

    Caller: “My PIN.”

    Me: “To your bank account?!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Taxing Faxing, Part 6

    | Lakewood, CO, USA | Extra Stupid

    (We require full coverage insurance on vehicles we sell that we are financing in-house. I call the customer to tell her she needs to provide us with proof of insurance.)

    Me: “We need you to fax us your current proof of insurance ma’am. You can have your insurance agent fax it over.”

    Caller: “I’ll just use the fax at my work. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

    (She calls back in an hour.)

    Caller: “Okay, they said I could use the fax. How do I send it to you?”

    Me: “Maybe you could ask someone there to help you?”

    Caller: *yelling* “Bob! I need to fax this to the car place!”

    Bob: *in background* “What’s the fax number?”

    (I tell the customer the fax number.)

    Customer: “Okay, it’s working.”

    (My fax machine rings, and her insurance starts printing.)

    Customer: “Now make sure you send that back to me, it’s my original and I have to keep it in my car!”

    Me: “Um…it should be sitting on your fax machine.”

    Customer: “Wow, these fax things are fast!”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    So Stupid He Could Kick Himself

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Wild & Unruly

    Customer: "What sort of fuel economy does this one have?"

    Me: "Sir, you’re in the wrong lot. That’s another customer’s car."

    Customer: "So this one’s reserved? What about the blue one over there?"

    Me: "You need to go back to the front of the building. These are all the cars that other customers drove here in."

    Customer: "Wait, what? So I can just drive them?"

    Me: "No. You can test drive a specific unit of each of our models, but these cars belong to other people."

    Customer: "So you’re just going to deprive me of everything? Fine! I’m leaving!"

    (He kicks another car on the way out.)

    Customer: "Wait… f***! That’s mine!”

    Driven To Recession

    | Cleveland, OH, USA |

    Me: “Hi, ma’am. Are you interested in buying a car?”

    Customer: “What kind of car is this?”

    Me: “This is the new [model].”

    Customer: “Wait! I haven’t seen one of those since the 1990′s!”

    Me: “Yes, our brand actually brought out a new–”

    Customer: “So you have a car here from the 1990′s, still have a new sticker price on it, and expect me to pay full price?”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s a new car.”

    Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? You people know nothing about the car business! Why would you openly advertise that you couldn’t sell a car for over ten years? That tells me you’re an awful business!”

    Me: “But ma’am, it’s not a car actually from a decade ago. It’s a remake of that car. It was made this year.”

    Customer: “Either you’re a liar or this car company is a joke! This is why the recession took place, because of this!”

    Almost Makes You Want To Re-Tire

    | Virginia, USA |

    Customer: “They charged me $110 for working on my car?!”

    Me: “What did you have done?”

    Customer: “I just came because the car said service was needed on the car.”

    Me: “Yes, you got an oil change and tire rotation, state inspection and a car wash.”

    Customer: “Tire rotation? Aren’t they always like, rotating as I drive?”

    Me: “Yes, but the tires are removed and swapped, the tires on the rear are moved to the front, and the fronts to the rear. It’s to help the tires wear out evenly.”

    Customer: “They wear out?”

    Me: “Eventually, yes. They do.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    (I try to describe traction, friction, and the breakdown of soft compounds like tire tread over concrete.)

    Customer: *blank stare* “Isn’t my car pretty?”

    (As the customer leaves, they pull on the door about three times before they see the push sign.)

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