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    You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Make

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Rude & Risque

    (An elderly woman walks onto the lot from and begins asking me about a car.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “What can you tell me about this red car?”

    Me: “This is a 1999 Volvo V70.”

    Customer: “A Vulva! My grand-daughter has a vulva! Her boyfriend said he absolutely loves it!”

    (I unsuccessfully try to keep a straight face.)

    Me: “I’m sure he does, ma’am.”

    Related:
    You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 4
    You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 3
    You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 2

    Driving Home The Law

    | Flint, MI, USA |

    (A customer drives in to our car dealership.)

    Customer: “I am an important lawyer, and I have a big case this morning! When I arrived at court, I couldn’t get my very important paperwork out of the trunk! My remote isn’t working! I demand that you fix it!”

    Me: “That is very strange. So the key isn’t working either?”

    (The customer turns three different shades of red, gets back into her car, and drives away.)

    Hannibal On Line Two

    , | Falls Church, VA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of dealership].”

    Caller: “Can I speak to the body parts department?”

    Me: “Do you mean the body shop?”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”

    Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”

    Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”

    Me: “What’s that?”

    Caller: “My PIN.”

    Me: “To your bank account?!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Taxing Faxing, Part 6

    | Lakewood, CO, USA | Extra Stupid

    (We require full coverage insurance on vehicles we sell that we are financing in-house. I call the customer to tell her she needs to provide us with proof of insurance.)

    Me: “We need you to fax us your current proof of insurance ma’am. You can have your insurance agent fax it over.”

    Caller: “I’ll just use the fax at my work. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

    (She calls back in an hour.)

    Caller: “Okay, they said I could use the fax. How do I send it to you?”

    Me: “Maybe you could ask someone there to help you?”

    Caller: *yelling* “Bob! I need to fax this to the car place!”

    Bob: *in background* “What’s the fax number?”

    (I tell the customer the fax number.)

    Customer: “Okay, it’s working.”

    (My fax machine rings, and her insurance starts printing.)

    Customer: “Now make sure you send that back to me, it’s my original and I have to keep it in my car!”

    Me: “Um…it should be sitting on your fax machine.”

    Customer: “Wow, these fax things are fast!”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

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