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    Hannibal On Line Two

    , | Falls Church, VA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of dealership].”

    Caller: “Can I speak to the body parts department?”

    Me: “Do you mean the body shop?”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”

    Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”

    Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”

    Me: “What’s that?”

    Caller: “My PIN.”

    Me: “To your bank account?!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Taxing Faxing, Part 6

    | Lakewood, CO, USA | Extra Stupid

    (We require full coverage insurance on vehicles we sell that we are financing in-house. I call the customer to tell her she needs to provide us with proof of insurance.)

    Me: “We need you to fax us your current proof of insurance ma’am. You can have your insurance agent fax it over.”

    Caller: “I’ll just use the fax at my work. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

    (She calls back in an hour.)

    Caller: “Okay, they said I could use the fax. How do I send it to you?”

    Me: “Maybe you could ask someone there to help you?”

    Caller: *yelling* “Bob! I need to fax this to the car place!”

    Bob: *in background* “What’s the fax number?”

    (I tell the customer the fax number.)

    Customer: “Okay, it’s working.”

    (My fax machine rings, and her insurance starts printing.)

    Customer: “Now make sure you send that back to me, it’s my original and I have to keep it in my car!”

    Me: “Um…it should be sitting on your fax machine.”

    Customer: “Wow, these fax things are fast!”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    So Stupid He Could Kick Himself

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Wild & Unruly

    Customer: "What sort of fuel economy does this one have?"

    Me: "Sir, you’re in the wrong lot. That’s another customer’s car."

    Customer: "So this one’s reserved? What about the blue one over there?"

    Me: "You need to go back to the front of the building. These are all the cars that other customers drove here in."

    Customer: "Wait, what? So I can just drive them?"

    Me: "No. You can test drive a specific unit of each of our models, but these cars belong to other people."

    Customer: "So you’re just going to deprive me of everything? Fine! I’m leaving!"

    (He kicks another car on the way out.)

    Customer: "Wait… f***! That’s mine!”

    Driven To Recession

    | Cleveland, OH, USA |

    Me: “Hi, ma’am. Are you interested in buying a car?”

    Customer: “What kind of car is this?”

    Me: “This is the new [model].”

    Customer: “Wait! I haven’t seen one of those since the 1990′s!”

    Me: “Yes, our brand actually brought out a new–”

    Customer: “So you have a car here from the 1990′s, still have a new sticker price on it, and expect me to pay full price?”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s a new car.”

    Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? You people know nothing about the car business! Why would you openly advertise that you couldn’t sell a car for over ten years? That tells me you’re an awful business!”

    Me: “But ma’am, it’s not a car actually from a decade ago. It’s a remake of that car. It was made this year.”

    Customer: “Either you’re a liar or this car company is a joke! This is why the recession took place, because of this!”

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