October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

No Need To Drive This Deal Home

| Illinois, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Top

(I have just brought a middle-aged couple back from a test drive. We are going over the price of the car.)

Me: “With your trade and money down, we’re looking at about $400 per month for the base model, and $440 per month fully-loaded.”

Husband: “But we only wanted to spend $500 to $550 or more per month!”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Wife: “Like he said, we’re looking to spend no more than $550.”

Me: “Well, yes. Even if you get the fully loaded model, it’s far under $500 per month.”

Husband: “NO! What part of ‘$500 per month’ don’t you understand?”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. I definitely think we can make the numbers work for you at $500 per.”

Wife: “Much better. We’ll take it, then!”

Please Put Your Brain Back In The Driver’s Seat

| Michigan, USA | Rude & Risque

(I’m a receptionist in the service area of a car dealership. I am calling a customer to let him know his vehicle is ready for pickup.)

Me: “Hello, sir! Just calling to let you know that your vehicle is all set.”

Customer: “And do you come with the car? You sound like a pretty little thing.”

Me: “Um, well, we’re open until 6 tonight, so if you want to come in and get your truck before then, that would be great.”

Customer: “I’m a dirty old man.”

Me: “Okay, then. Have a good day.” *hangs up*

This Car Is Past Its Break-in Period

| New Jersey, USA | Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am a customer in a used car dealership looking to trade in my car. Another customer has been looking at my car for a few minutes.)

Customer, to salesman: “Can I test drive that green Saturn at the end of the lot?”

Salesman: “That’s a customer’s car. We don’t own it.”

Customer: “Okay. Can I test drive it?”

Salesman: “No.”

(I’m standing close by, laughing at the whole conversation, when my dad comes to tell me he found a nice car in my price-range, so we go to look at it. Five minutes later, I go back to my car to see the same woman trying to pry the window down.)

Me: “Excuse me, what are you doing?”

Customer: “I want to test drive this car, but the salesman refuses to give me the keys!”

Me: “That’s my car. I own it.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought he was just saying that to spite me.”

You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Make

| Detroit, MI, USA | Rude & Risque

(An elderly woman walks onto the lot from and begins asking me about a car.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “What can you tell me about this red car?”

Me: “This is a 1999 Volvo V70.”

Customer: “A Vulva! My grand-daughter has a vulva! Her boyfriend said he absolutely loves it!”

(I unsuccessfully try to keep a straight face.)

Me: “I’m sure he does, ma’am.”

You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 2

Driving Home The Law

| Flint, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer drives in to our car dealership.)

Customer: “I am an important lawyer, and I have a big case this morning! When I arrived at court, I couldn’t get my very important paperwork out of the trunk! My remote isn’t working! I demand that you fix it!”

Me: “That is very strange. So the key isn’t working either?”

(The customer turns three different shades of red, gets back into her car, and drives away.)

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