(I’m on the phone with a customer. I can hear kids running around and screaming in the background.)
Customer: “I talked to the man earlier. He said y’all do cars for five hundred down?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am.”
Customer: “What’s y’all… hold on a sec… *she yells at the kids making noise in the background* “QUIT THAT! I’M ON THE F***ING PHONE!” *back to me* “What do y’all need from me?”
Me: “Well, we ask for a pay stub as proof of income, a copy of your driver’s license, and some references.”
Customer: “Well, I do a daycare out of my home. That’s my job. Is that okay?”
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927 Thumbs Up!)
(I have just brought a middle-aged couple back from a test drive. We are going over the price of the car.)
Me: “With your trade and money down, we’re looking at about $400 per month for the base model, and $440 per month fully-loaded.”
Husband: “But we only wanted to spend $500 to $550 or more per month!”
Me: “…Excuse me?”
Wife: “Like he said, we’re looking to spend no more than $550.”
Me: “Well, yes. Even if you get the fully loaded model, it’s far under $500 per month.”
Husband: “NO! What part of ‘$500 per month’ don’t you understand?”
Me: “Not a problem, sir. I definitely think we can make the numbers work for you at $500 per.”
Wife: “Much better. We’ll take it, then!”
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1,546 Thumbs Up!)
(I’m a receptionist in the service area of a car dealership. I am calling a customer to let him know his vehicle is ready for pickup.)
Me: “Hello, sir! Just calling to let you know that your vehicle is all set.”
Customer: “And do you come with the car? You sound like a pretty little thing.”
Me: “Um, well, we’re open until 6 tonight, so if you want to come in and get your truck before then, that would be great.”
Customer: “I’m a dirty old man.”
Me: “Okay, then. Have a good day.” *hangs up*
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712 Thumbs Up!)
(I am a customer in a used car dealership looking to trade in my car. Another customer has been looking at my car for a few minutes.)
Customer, to salesman: “Can I test drive that green Saturn at the end of the lot?”
Salesman: “That’s a customer’s car. We don’t own it.”
Customer: “Okay. Can I test drive it?”
Salesman: “No.”
(I’m standing close by, laughing at the whole conversation, when my dad comes to tell me he found a nice car in my price-range, so we go to look at it. Five minutes later, I go back to my car to see the same woman trying to pry the window down.)
Me: “Excuse me, what are you doing?”
Customer: “I want to test drive this car, but the salesman refuses to give me the keys!”
Me: “That’s my car. I own it.”
Customer: “Oh. I thought he was just saying that to spite me.”
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1,637 Thumbs Up!)
(An elderly woman walks onto the lot from and begins asking me about a car.)
Me: “Hello, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”
Customer: “What can you tell me about this red car?”
Me: “This is a 1999 Volvo V70.”
Customer: “A Vulva! My grand-daughter has a vulva! Her boyfriend said he absolutely loves it!”
(I unsuccessfully try to keep a straight face.)
Me: “I’m sure he does, ma’am.”
Related:
You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 2
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1,840 Thumbs Up!)
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