Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.
Kids Say The Awesomest Things! This week, we share five stories that show that kids are not only our best customers, but can be an employee’s best friend!
- Ah, Children:
A misbehaving customer gets put in the time-out corner…by a toddler.
- They Swim Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine:
When Blade meets The Little Mermaid, awesome ensues.
- Making A Hug(e) Difference:
Every store needs a kid like this…seriously, can Not Always Right adopt this boy?
- Vocabulary, Meet Veracity:
Proof that kids hear everything parents say.
- They Grow Up Too Fast:
When the rubber hits the road, Ultimate Driving Machines come in all sizes.
(A customer and his four-year old daughter are checking out.)
Me: “Would you like anything else?”
(The customer looks at the lollipop stand on the counter, then looks down at his daughter.)
Customer, to child: “What would you like?”
Child: “A BMW!”
They Grow Up So Fast
(A man comes to my register with a mint chocolate candy bar.)
Me: “Anything else?”
Customer: “Can you break a $100 bill?”
Me: “Actually, I can’t. We just opened and I haven’t gone to the bank today.”
Customer: “Oh, no! Do you know anywhere I can get change? I need this candy right away!”
(At this point I notice his panicked look. Coupled with the fact that he’s buying the most unappetizing candy in the store, I jump to a conclusion.)
Me: “Sir, these aren’t for you, are they?”
Me: “Did your pregnant wife send you out at 8 in the morning to buy this candy?”
Me: “For the love of God, man! Get these home to her before you’re in even more trouble! You can come back and pay me later!”
(The customer bolts out the door. He later came back, visibly calmer, and paid.)
Customer: “You don’t have any candy apples?”
Me: “No, ma’am, we only make them on Fridays and they usually sell out before the weekend is over.”
Customer: “Oh. Do you get that question a lot?”
Me: “… yes.”
Customer: “I bet you get sick of it, don’t you? I bet you’re thinking, ‘B***, you see candy apples?'”
(Sometimes, the customer is right!)
(I worked at a candy store in an area with a high population of tourists. We have a DVD constantly playing that shows them how the candy is made, obviously pre-recorded.)
Tourist Lady: “Ooh, is that the actual factory?”
Boss: “Actually, it’s a live satellite feed. They’re making that candy right now.”
Tourist Lady: “Fancy!”
(This is a DVD movie with edits and transitions, clearly playing on a Samsung DVD player. Oh, tourists, how I loathe thee.)