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    No ID, No Idea, Part 15

    | Salem, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal

    (The store I work at sells chocolate liqueurs. Because they are alcoholic, I cannot sell them to anyone who doesn’t have an ID on them. A couple of young women come up, and seeing the liqueurs by the register, put a couple in with their purchase.)

    Me: “I’ll need to see some ID for those.”

    Customer: “Oh, I left my ID in the car.”

    Me: “I can hold onto your stuff while you go get it.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to go all the way to my car and back!”

    Me: *moving the liqueurs aside* “All right. I’ll just put those back, then.”

    Customer: “But, I want them.”

    Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “It’s in the car!”

    Me: “I can hold your stuff for you while you go get it.”

    Customer: “Look, I LOOK old enough to drink, don’t I?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    (Smiling, the woman nudges the liqueurs back into her pile of stuff. I promptly nudge them back out.)

    Me: “My underage sister LOOKS old enough, as well.”

    Customer: “But I want those!”

    Me: “I’ll need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “It’s in the CAR!”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 14
    No ID, No Idea, Part 13
    No ID, No Idea, Part 12

    Stupid Out Of The Starting Gate

    , | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a kiosk candy shop located in a popular shopping mall. Because of the location in the middle of the floor, some people don’t realise that we’re closed. I am cashing up after a long day. The gates that close off the kiosk have been closed and padlocked. The entire shopping centre has been closed for a good 15 minutes.)

    Customer: “Are you still open? I know exactly what I want so I’ll be quick.”

    Me: *thinking this guy is messing with me, I play along* “Yeah, sure, but only if you can manage to get over the gate.”

    Customer: *to his friend* “Yo, they’re still open! Give me a hand getting over this gate!”

    Me: “Ah, sorry, I was just kidding around with you. We actually closed over 20 minutes ago. I’m just running late.”

    Customer: “But… I can still get lollies, right?”

    (Whenever we have customers that don’t see past their own nose, I always have a bit of a joke with them and they laugh along. This was the first customer that actually thought I was serious.)

    Putting Your Son Into A Sweet Disposition

    | USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a little sweet shop. We have a promotion going on where you can get two free sweets if you can spin a wheel and get it to land on the prize. The front door opens and a young boy and his mother walk in.)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [store name].”

    Mother: “Hi, I was told I could get some free candy here.”

    Me: “That’s right; you can get two free sweets of your choice if you can get a win on the prize wheel!”

    Boy: “I wanna try!”

    (The mother grumbles angrily. The boy walks over to the counter and takes hold of the wheel.)

    Me: “Okay, good luck, you have one chance, okay?”

    Boy: “Got it!”

    (The boy spins, but the spinner doesn’t land on ‘Winner’. The boy shrugs and walks back to his mother.)

    Mother: “Where’s his candy?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Mother: “You said, he’d get free candy.”

    Me: “Yes, if he was able to spin to win. Maybe next time, okay little guy?”

    Boy: “Always next time, Mom.”

    Mother: “Look at him! He’s distraught! You made my son unhappy! Get your manager.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    (The boy is dragged by his ear to the corner of the shop and is whispered to.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, miss?”

    Mother: “She made my son cry! He won the free candy, fair and square!”

    Boy: “No I—”

    (The mother gives him a glare.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry for your troubles; I’ll give you the candy you won.”

    (He gives the boy two pieces of our signature candy, and they leave the store.)

    Manager: “Sorry about that; it’s not worth a fight. Not much lost really.”

    Me: “But I—”

    (I am cut off by the door slowly creaking open. The boy is back, now alone.)

    Boy: “Here’s your candy back; sorry about my Mom. I know I didn’t win.”

    Me: “Thank you so much, but you can—”

    (He leaves before I can finish. I will always remember the little boy’s honesty, even though none of us ever saw him in the shop again.)

    Like Selling Candy To A Banshee

    | Nevada, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (This is a call from me to a customer who owns a candy store, regarding an order they placed for a candy-making mix. We had the wrong expiration date for their credit card. Please note that this order is marked as being needed in a rush.)

    Woman: “Hello, [candy store].”

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] from [candy supply company].”

    Woman: “We’re not interested!” *hangs up*

    (I call back.)

    Woman: “Hello, [candy store].”

    Me: “Hi, this is [name] again. I think there was a misunderstanding. We’re calling about an order you already placed.”

    Woman: *scoffs* “Really…”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. [Candy store owner] called and put in an order this morning for candy mix, but we must not have heard the expiration date correctly.”

    Woman: “So, you call saying we ordered something, and you want me to just give you a credit card number?”

    Me: “No, we have the number. We just need to check the expiration date. Is [candy store owner] there?”

    Woman: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, could I leave a message for him that we won’t be able to send out your candy mix without getting the correct expiration date?”

    Woman: “We’re a homemade candy company. What makes you assume we use a mix for our candy?”

    Me: “Because we sell it to you.”

    Woman: “We make our candy homemade. We’re not interested in buying yours. How dare you suggest we make it from a mix?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, a lot of places label their candy homemade, even when they make it from a mix. I can cancel the order if you’d like, but I’d prefer to speak to [candy store owner] before I do.”

    Woman: “He’s not here, and I’m sure as h*** not giving you any credit card information. It’s a f***ing scam!”

    (The woman hangs up again. About a week later, I get a call from the man who owns the store.)

    Owner: “Hi, this is [owner] from [candy store]. I was calling to see where my order was.”

    Me: “We tried to get in touch with you about having the wrong expiration date on the credit card the same day you placed the order. The woman I spoke to told me you would me making the candy from scratch and were no longer interested in the order, so I canceled it.”

    Owner: “****! I’m gonna kill her!”

    Dislike Father, Dislike Son

    | Missouri, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

    (A lady walks in with her 11-year-old son. He is being very mouthy to her, mouthy to her friend that is with them. He even glares at me when I tell him he can not eat of our bulk candy bins. They finally come up to the counter to pay for their candy, but he is still saying horrible things to his mother. She is looking very upset by this point.)

    Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

    Customer’s Son: “Shut up!”

    Me: “You know, if my son talked to me that way—”

    Customer’s Son: “You’d what, b****?”

    Me: “I’d probably hogtie him and throw him into his room.”

    Customer: *laughs*

    Customer’s Son: “B****, you wouldn’t be standing!”

    Me: *laughing* “Oh? How you figure that?”

    Customer’s Son: “Because you’re a woman, and women are weak.”

    Customer: *to her son* “Oh my God, are you serious?! You are NOT visiting your father anymore!”

    Customer’s Son: *to me* “Now get me an Icee, b****.”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t know. I’m not sure my weak woman’s hands can make it for you!”

    Customer: *laughing, to me* “Thank you!” *to her son* “Now, let’s go. I’m not buying you anything!”

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    Customer’s Son: *flips me off*

    Customer: *smacks him*

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