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    Always Handle Grown Ups With Kid Gloves

    | Colorado, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I am a head counselor at a camp. It is the end of the session and checkout doesn’t start until 5pm. The following takes place around 3pm. My boss radios up that a parent has shown up unexpectedly. I scramble to gather the kids, their belongings and final paperwork before heading to the parents.)

    Parent #1: *fuming* “Well, it’s about time! We were supposed to leave by 2:30!”

    Me: “Okay, I’m sorry this is taking a while. We’re just trying to get the last pieces of paperwork together. In the future, if you need to check out early, you can note it on the checkout form you filled out at the beginning of camp and—”

    Parent #1: “Well, we called and confirmed we could be here early!”

    Me: “Oh? Who did you confirm with? I’m sorry for the mix-up. They should have passed that info along and we could have—”

    Parent #1: “Well, we left a message.”

    Me: “Who did you confirm with that we got your message? Did you make verbal contact with anyone?”

    Parent #1: “WE. LEFT. A. MESSAGE.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t always get a chance to check our messages. Next time, it would be better if you tried again until you made verbal contact with—”

    Parent #1: *clamps her hands over her ears* “NO! NO! NO! I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT! NO FIGHTING! NO FIGHTING! [Camp Name] RULE: NO FIGHTING!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not trying to fight with you. I’m just letting you know how we can make early check out easier—”

    Parent #1: “NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO FIGHTING!” *walks away from me*

    (I turn to the other parent and begin explaining things to him.)

    Me: “For future reference, if you fill out the early check out form we can have all the paperwork ready and your camper’s belongings set aside instead of buried in the trailer—”

    (At this point, the other parent turns away from me, walks over to the trailer, opens it up and starts throwing other campers’ bags out into the dirt.)

    Me: “Sir, you can’t be in there! I will help you find your camper’s belongings as soon as we finish the checkout paperwork!”

    Parent #1: “THIS IS SO STUPID!”

    Parent #2: “This is utter B***S***!”

    Parent #1: “WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG?!”

    Me: “If you would let me explain I would be happy to help you—”

    Parent #1: “NO FIGHTING! NO FIGHTING! NO FIGHTING!”

    (Fortunately, my boss comes over. He tells them the same thing I’ve been telling them. Surprisingly, their response is the complete opposite.)

    Parent #1: *to my boss* “OH! Well why didn’t you just say so?” *signs the paperwork* “Have a good day!”

    The Cuss-tomer Is Always Right

    | USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top

    (A mother storms into our day camp. She’s holding her five-year-old son by the arm.)

    Mom: “My son said the F-word last night after coming home from YOUR day camp. I will NOT have a bunch of unprofessional teenagers setting bad examples for my child!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. I have no idea which employee could have said that, but I will definitely call a meeting with all of our counselors to discuss this.”

    Mom: “Yeah, you’d better. I should have all of you fired, really!”

    (She turns to leave, but as she walks away she drops her sunglasses.)

    Mom: “Oh, f***!”

    Weekend Roundup: Caught Red-Handed

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Caught Red-Handed! There’s nothing quite as sheisty as customer trying to pull a fast one—and nothing quite as satisfying as catching one red-handed!

    1. Caught Red-Handed:
      A sneaky customer gets called out by another customer—who just happens to be an employee!
    2. Piercing Observation:
      Underaged customers FAIL, basic biology WIN.
    3. Caught Brown Handed:
      Proof that some trails of evidence are self-evident, salty and sticky!
    4. Tripped Up:
      If customers are gonna cry child abuse, they’d better “step” up their game!
    5. A Squeaky Clean Record:
      An employee takes it easy on a young (and very squeaky) scammer.

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    All Aboard The U.S.S. Gluteus Maximus

    | Nevada, USA | Language & Words

    Customer: “Is there a** sailing here?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer: “A** sailing. You know, like rock climbing?”

    Me: “You mean abseiling?”

    Customer: “That’s what I said!”

    Parenting The Parents

    | Minnesota, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a 17 year old girl working at a boy scout camp. It is close to the end of the summer and I’ve gotten very used to encounters like these. The camp has motorized canoes on the river because the boys are generally too weak to row upstream. Some dads tend to abuse the canoes. This particular dad was very obnoxious.)

    Dad: *jumps into canoe*

    Me: “Uh, sir, we actually need to go over safety rules before you guys can start with the canoes, okay?”

    Dad: *blank stare*

    Me: “So…I’ll have to ask you to get out of the canoe.”

    Dad: *blank stare*

    Me: *more sternly* “Sir! I really need you to get out now so we can get started.”

    Dad: “No! You can’t tell me what to do! Do you think I don’t know how to use a canoe?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sure you are very experienced with canoes, but some boys aren’t, so we just want to make sure everyone knows the ground rules.”

    Dad: “Do you know who I am? You can’t talk to me like this! Who do you think you are to talk to me like this? Do you know who I am? I have the power to fire your a**!”

    Coworker: “Whoa, hey, calm down. You don’t need to talk to her like that. She’s just doing her job.”

    Dad: “She works here?! So she like gets…paid and stuff?”

    Me: “Yes, I get paid and stuff.”

    Dad: “But you’re a girl!”

    Me: “Yes, I am a girl.”

    Dad: “At a boy scout camp! This is just wrong! You can’t work here! Who hired you? What sick freak would hire a girl to do a man’s job?!”

    (I begin writing names and numbers on a piece of paper.)

    Me: “Okay, well if you’d like to complain to my supervisor, here’s her number. Otherwise you can talk to the camp director; her name is Elizabeth.”

    Dad: *storms off*

    (Later, I find out that this same dad attempted to pop a wheelie in the canoe and was put on our “do not canoe” list.)


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