Featured:
  • My Roommate Is My Pet Hate
    (891 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Say Your Prayers

    | Guilford, NY, USA | Books & Reading, Religion

    (I work as a waiter at a religious Jewish camp. The way we normally clear the tables is tie up the ends, remove anything reusable or of value that was left behind, and drag the whole thing into the trash. One night I just cleared one of my tables when one of my campers and her counselor walk in.)

    Me: *smiling* “Hey, what’s up?”

    Camper: “I left my pink siddur (Jewish prayer book) behind.”

    (I search the shelves, benches, and floor to see if it was picked up or fell somewhere, but I can’t find it.)

    Me: “Where’s the last place you remember seeing it?”

    (She points to table I just cleared. I stare in horror and rush to the trash can I just dumped the tablecloth and all of the night’s meal into. I shuffle the can around to see if I can see anything but no dice. I look back up at her.)

    Me: *beginning to panic* “Are you sure you left it on the table?”

    (She nods yes. I look back down at the trash. This was a religious item so it was extremely important. I roll up my sleeve and reach into the trash. I shuffle and move things around, looking for any hint of a pink prayer book. Instead I touch all the leftovers the kids didn’t finish. After a while I bring my arm out, apologize and go to wash my entire arm with soap. Twice. When I come back I begin to apologize to her again but she that’s when she interrupts me with a realization.)

    Camper: “Wait a minute! My friend borrowed it from me after dinner!”

    Me: *staring at her long and hard while trying not to laugh at the situation and what I just did for her* “YOU TELL ME THAT NOW?!”

    (I became her favorite waiter from that point on.)

    A Weighty Party-Trick

    | UK | At The Checkout, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (My parents run a general grocery store on a camping/caravanning site. I am 15 and work there. When mum goes on her break and I am alone, I love to watch the shoppers as they walk around putting items in their basket. I know the price of every item in the store so I add it up in my head. When they come to pay I ‘heft’ the basket – as if I am weighing it – and then announce the price.)

    Me: “That will be £4.22.”

    Customer: *gives me an odd look*

    (I enter the items into the till, and it comes to exactly the same price.)

    Customer: *looks amazed, and silently hands over the money*

    (I overhear the customer talk to their partner outside the shop.)

    Customer: “Do you know what that young lad in the shop can do? Amazing!”

    Summer Starts Earlier Every Year

    | MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am a counselor at a summer camp. A parent asks me this as she is dropping her son off on the first day.)

    Mother: “Camp starts at 9 am, right?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”

    Mother: “So when is the earliest I can drop him off?”

    (This is a reasonable question, as some camps in the same building provide before-care options. Ours, however, does not.)

    Me: “8:55? We always start with some casual games that the kids can join as they arrive, so there’s no need to worry about him missing anything.”

    Mother: “But I need to drop him off, and his sister at her camp, and then I have to get to work. So I really need to drop him off earlier. His sister’s camp doesn’t have before-care so I need to drop her off second.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have before-care either.”

    Mother: “But you must get here before 9.”

    Me: “Well… we do get here earlier but we have setup to do.”

    Mother: “I’ll just drop him off when you get here then.”

    Me: “We really can’t be responsible for the children outside of camp hours.”

    Mother: “He won’t bother you.”

    Me: “Please do not bring him before 9.”

    Mother: “Okay, see you at 8:30!” *walks away*

    Me: “No… please don’t!”

    (I got there at 8:20 the next morning and found the child sitting in the hallway outside the locked room!)

    Time To Separate The Horse From The Goats

    | VA, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (We offer pony camps during the summer to kids wanting to learn to ride. We have very calm, safe horses to ride, and take all safety measures, but some parents are naturally worrisome.)

    Mom: “Those horses are awfully big… Don’t you have something smaller for my daughter?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, all of our horses are sweet. I’ve ridden all of them over my years here.”

    Mom: “I just think that they’re too big for her. Maybe something smaller? Like a miniature horse?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can’t really ride a miniature horse…”

    Mom: “Oh! What about that one! It’s perfectly sized for her!”

    Me: “Uh… Ma’am… that’s a goat.”

    (At this point, the daughter was bright red. She ended up riding one of our largest horses and did awesomely. And poor Benny the goat didn’t have to worry!)

    Turning Right Is Apparently Wrong

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

    (I work in a campground that is just outside of the city limits. We are off a highway that has the ‘Welcome to our city’ sign on it, and which is the only way in or out of the city for miles. A customer comes in with a GPS.)

    Customer: “I’d like to get into the city. What should I program into the GPS?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s quite simple, just exit the campground and turn right. The highway leads into the city.”

    Customer: “But what should I program into the GPS?”

    Me: “Are you looking for a particular location?”

    Customer: “No, I just want to get into the city itself. Can you tell my GPS what directions it should give me?”

    Me: “All you have to do is turn right and follow the highway. You won’t need your GPS. Once you pass the ‘Welcome’ sign you should begin to see buildings.”

    Customer: “But how do I get into the city? I need my GPS to tell me what to do!”

    (I give up, and program the GPS with the coordinates of a gas station just past the ‘Welcome’ sign.)

    GPS: “Turn right. In five kilometers, you will reach your destination.”

    Customer: “Hey, the city is just down the road! You could have just told me to turn right!”

    Page 1/512345