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  • Not The Brightest Question

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology

    (I’ve been talking to this customer for about five minutes already, answering questions about telescopes that we sell, and some of the questions just end up getting a bit silly…)

    Customer: “So, with these telescopes would you be able to see meteors and other stars with them?”

    Me: “You would be able to see meteors though they’re going to pass through your field of view so quickly it’d be pointless trying to find them, as you’d need to be aiming at the exact spot they’re going to pass through. As for other stars, they’re so far away that they will still just look like dots of light in the night sky.”

    Customer: “What about our sun? Could you look at that?”

    Me: “If you wanted to suffer eye damage, you certainly could, though it’s not recommended.”

    Customer: “Doctors can fix blindness though, nowadays, can’t they?”

    Attempting To Mask Out Stupidity

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (Our store does basic restoration services.)

    Customer: “I have these photos of a masquerade ball.” *holds up photos with people with full masks on* “I need you to photoshop the masks off.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, it is impossible for me to remove a mask of the person.”

    Customer: “But I need to know who they are!”

    Me: “If you have a different photo of the peoples faces, I can photoshop their face on, but it is impossible to remove a mask on a still photograph.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. If CSI can do it why can’t you?”

    Hope This One Ends Positively

    , | Australia |

    Customer: “Do you have a charger for this battery?”

    Me: “We have a universal charger, which should work with it. It charges 90% of all batteries.”

    Customer: “Could I have one which charges my batteries to 100%?”

    Acting Snappy

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have a 72mm lens cap?”

    Me: “Yes. We do.”

    Customer: “Is it a 72mm lens cap?”

    Me: “Yes, it is. That is what you asked for, right?”

    Customer: “Yes, but is it a 72mm lens cap?”

    Me: “As I said, yes it is.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Actually no. It’s a 55mm but bring your camera in. I have a hammer and I’m sure I can make it work for you.”