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    About To Get Charged For No Charge

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (My boss is helping a customer who is looking for a battery for his digital camera.)

    Boss: “That will be $59.99 plus tax.”

    Customer: “What! That’s crazy! I’ve only had this camera for a week, and the battery is already dead. Are you telling me I’m going to have to spend $60 every time it dies?”

    Boss: “Only a week? The battery might be defective. How long did you leave it on the charger?”

    Customer: “Charger? Um…”

    (The customer grabs his ‘dead’ battery, and heads for the door.)

    Customer: “I was never here.”

    (My boss manages to wait until the customer is out of the store before cracking up.)

    Must Be Gherkin You Around

    | Canada |

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss. How many megapickles does this camera have?”

    Me: “You mean megapixels? This one has 12.1.”

    Customer: “No, I mean megapickles. How many does this one have?”

    Me: “Uh… none?”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, then! What good is it?”

    My Life Coach Went To Film [Processing] School

    , | Edmonton, Alberta, Canada |

    (A customer was picking up reprints from her film negatives.  I observed this exchange.)

    Customer: “This is the wrong picture!”

    Co-worker: “Which one was it supposed to be?”

    Customer: “Number 18.”

    Co-worker: *looks at negatives* “That is number 18 from these negatives. Did you drop off the wrong ones?”

    Customer: “No! I just gave them to your staff and told him to print this one. *pointing to number 18 on an index print card*

    Co-worker: “Ok…these are the negatives you dropped off?

    Customer: *loudly* “Well, how was I supposed to know they were the wrong ones? I can’t tell you how to do your job! I’m not in the back watching what your staff does!”

    (Upon hearing this, the manager comes over)

    Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “Yes! Your staff took the wrong negatives from me and printed the wrong photos! I can’t keep track of all my negatives…that’s your job!”

    Manager: “So you’re saying that it’s our job to organize your negatives?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “No. We won’t come home with you and organize your negatives. It’s your responsibility to check that you’re dropping off the right negatives–”

    Customer: *interrupting* “This is horrible customer service! I’m never coming back!”

    Manager: *sarcastically* “Yes, it is our job to organize your life for you too.”

    How About Your Husband Buy You A Brain

    | Bay Area, California | Top

    Woman: “Your f***ing machine won’t accept my memory card from my camera!”

    Me: “That’s very strange ma’am, as our machines accept all of the memory cards that I’ve ever heard of.”

    Woman: “Well, your machines are obviously old! My husband bought me an EXPENSIVE camera, because I only like the best! You people need to get better machines! My memory card won’t even FIT in any of the slots!”

    Me: “May I see your memory card? Maybe I can figure out what’s wrong.”

    (Woman hands me her memory card huffily.)

    Me: “Um… ma’am, I don’t know how to tell you this, but this is your camera battery.”

    Woman: “…”

    (She snatches her battery out of my hands and storms out of the store.)

    Night Vision Might Be Good Too

    , | San Diego, CA, USA | Top

    (I’m selling a camcorder to a man and his girlfriend. The guy is clueless about cameras and the girl knows a little bit more.)

    Guy: “I don’t really know too much about cameras, she knows more than I do. I just want something good.”

    Me: “Well this one is good because…” *explaining*

    Guy to girl: “Honey, do you understand any of this?”

    Girl: “Yeah, don’t worry. I think I know what we want.”

    Guy to me: “Look, if you had to choose a camera to take naked pictures of her *points to girlfriend*, which would you choose?”

    Me: “Well…this one has a built in hard drive so you can tape for longer without changing tapes.”

    (The guy’s phone rings and he leaves me alone with girlfriend.)

    Girl: “Do you get that a lot?”

    Me: “More than you would think.”