Woman: “Your f***ing machine won’t accept my memory card from my camera!”

Me: “That’s very strange ma’am, as our machines accept all of the memory cards that I’ve ever heard of.”

Woman: “Well, your machines are obviously old! My husband bought me an EXPENSIVE camera, because I only like the best! You people need to get better machines! My memory card won’t even FIT in any of the slots!”

Me: “May I see your memory card? Maybe I can figure out what’s wrong.”

(Woman hands me her memory card huffily.)

Me: “Um… ma’am, I don’t know how to tell you this, but this is your camera battery.”

Woman: “…”

(She snatches her battery out of my hands and storms out of the store.)

(I’m selling a camcorder to a man and his girlfriend. The guy is clueless about cameras and the girl knows a little bit more.)

Guy: “I don’t really know too much about cameras, she knows more than I do. I just want something good.”

Me: “Well this one is good because…” *explaining*

Guy to girl: “Honey, do you understand any of this?”

Girl: “Yeah, don’t worry. I think I know what we want.”

Guy to me: “Look, if you had to choose a camera to take naked pictures of her *points to girlfriend*, which would you choose?”

Me: “Well…this one has a built in hard drive so you can tape for longer without changing tapes.”

(The guy’s phone rings and he leaves me alone with girlfriend.)

Girl: “Do you get that a lot?”

Me: “More than you would think.”