November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Needs More Data On Data

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology

Caller: “Why is my mobile bill $900?”

Me: “By the looks of it you’ve gone over your data by about 15GB.”


Me: “Do you use any apps on your phone?”

Caller: “I let my son watch YouTube so he’s quiet.”

Me: “You do realise YouTube uses data?”

Caller: “No one told me that! I don’t want to pay for this bill!”

Trying To Drive The Job Away

| Frederick, MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

(I work for a health insurance company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name].”

Caller: “Hi, I was just cut off by a bus on the highway and I demand you fire the driver!”

Me: “I’m not sure that I can help you with that.”

Caller: “The bus had your company’s logo on the side of it. Fire the driver!”

Me: “Where are you?”

Caller: “Miami. Aren’t you?”

Me: “No, I’m in Maryland, and I’m sure the bus just had an ad for our product on it. We wouldn’t own the bus.”

Caller: “Well, transfer me to someone who can fire the bus driver.”

Channeling Through Some Good

| USA | Money, Movies & TV

(I work in a call center for paid TV service. They’ve recently lost a major broadcasting contract over the price for some VERY popular channels. Said channel viewers are known for being… let’s say fanatical.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “What’s happened to [Channel]?”

(I explain the expiring contract, reasons behind it, and how we are trying to resolve it. Then I brace for the outrage I am getting all too used to.)

Customer: “Why they being so mean to you guys?”

Me: *dumbstruck over this response* “I… uh. don’t know but I guess everyone wants more sometimes.”

Customer: “They’re just being greedy! I’ll wait this out; don’t let them get what they want!”

Me: “Uhh… well, I guess I’ll report that as feedback.”

(This was hands down the most polite person on this issue I have talked to so far. This call single-handedly made every other call that day seem much better!)

Almost Got Physical

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am calling with a complaint that one of my games won’t launch.)

Me: “Hi there, I’d like to register a complaint.”

Call Center: “Of course, sir. Sorry to hear that; how may I help you?”

Me: “Yeah, it seems your service has a bug up its a** and is trying to make me buy a game TWICE!”

Call Center: “Okay, sir, I understand. Can I get your account name and number?”

(We go through the check in questions and she starts looking through my account and transactions in the marketplace.)

Call Center:“Sir, I am seeing achievements on your gamer-tag but in accounts I see no online purchase for this game. Are you certain you bought the game online?”

Me: “OF COURSE I AM! I buy all of my games digital now. What’s the point in this extra hard drive if I have to…”

(At this point I open my drawer and see the game in question’s physical copy lying right there. The realization that I just sat through nearly an hour of robots and wait times to complain that my console wouldn’t play a game without the disc in it slowly sets in.)

Me:“…Um, It would seem as though I actually did buy the disc for this one… I’m going to go ahead and find a very tall building to jump off of.”

Call Center: *chuckling* “Please don’t do that, sir, but do have a good day!”

Had A Mourn-day Thursday

| Europe | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I am working in a call centre for a large company. This weekend was our weekend off because of the Easter celebration. A colleague, located somewhere else in Europe, is backing our line while we are away.)

Customer: “Hello, I am looking for [My Name]. I have talked to him before and need help from him.”

Coworker: “Well, [My Name] has his day off because of Easter.”

Customer: “GOD D*** IT! Why should he celebrate Easter? I need help with my product NOW!”

Coworker: *pulls up the file* “Well, I can see here that you were supposed to call him on Thursday to let him know about the issue.”

Customer: “Thursday? No, I couldn’t. I took the day off because of Easter.”