November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

The Sticky Details

| Huntington, WV, USA | Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. This is [name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, [name]. Look, my TV controller won’t work. Can you help me?”

(I try troubleshooting, but nothing I suggest seems to work. After almost 20 minutes, he hangs up, saying he’ll call back. A few hours later…)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Can I speak to [my name]? I talked to him a few hours ago.”

Coworker: “Oh, I’m sorry. He clocked out half an hour ago.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. Well, when you see him again, tell him I found out why my controller wouldn’t work. I probably should’ve told him I had spilled soda all over it.”

Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a call center as a customer service representative for prepaid debit cards, payroll cards and rewards cards.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. My name is Jordan. May I have your card number, please?”

Customer: “Jordan, huh? Like the river?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well, in that case, I’d love to take a swim in your river, honey.”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “Please, you don’t have to call me sir. Call me [first name].”

Me: “Alright, [first name].”

Customer: “Oh, I love the way you say my name. Could you say it again?”

Me: “I beg your pardon? Is there anything I can do for you today?”

Customer: “No, Jordan. I’m fine.”

Me: “Okay. Well, thank you for calling [company] and you enjoy your day, sir.”

Customer: “Now, Jordan, what did I say about that?”

Me: “I’m sorry. I meant [first name].”

Customer: “There we go. Thank you, Jordan. Bye bye, now!”

Not In Ermurica

, | Minnesota, USA | Bigotry

Me: “Thank you for calling [cable company], this is [name]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Do you speak English?”

Me: “Yes, I do. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Are you in Ermurica?”

Me: “Yes, I am in America.”

Caller: “You don’t sound like you’re an Ermurican. You sure you’re not in some Middle Eastern country like Australia?”

(Note: I am a caucasian male from Minnesota and I speak like one.)

Me: “No, I am in Minnesota, sir, speaking English. Is there an issue with your cable, or do you have–”

Caller: “Minnesota?! How is that Ermurican?” *hangs up*

An Invitation Nonetheless

, | Jacksonburg, OH, USA | Top

Me: “911, what is your emergency?”

Caller: “I’m a bad, bad boy.”

Me: “Yes, you are. I have a squad car en route to your location. Have a good day, sir.”

No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof, Part 2

, | California, USA | Family & Kids, School

(I work at a call center for a university. We call prospective students and tell them about our school. This call was meant for a young lady but was taken by her father.)

Me: “I’m calling from [university] to talk to [girl] about her interest in attending our university.”

Father: “University? Like school, papers, homework, and stuff?!”

Me: “Yes, that stuff usually occurs in a university.”

Father: “My daughter ain’t goin’ there!”

Me: “All right, have a nice day, sir.”

No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof