Close Encounters Of The Dumb Kind, Part 2

| Kamloops, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Uncategorized

(A man calls me asking about his balance. The call starts out normal enough. In order get inform on account we need to get ID.)

Me: “Okay, in order to help you, I need your full name and the last four digits of your social security number.”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: “Sir, if you want this information, I need to get your information.”

Customer: “I don’t care! I’m not giving you my info!”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “You’re just going to give it to your alien overlords!!!”

Me: “Well, sir, we already have your information here. We just need you to provide it so that we can verify–”

Customer: *screams and hangs up*

Related:
Close Encounters Of The Dumb Kind

What The 7734 Is Going On

| Utah, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need the status of a package.”

Me: “Okay. May I have the tracking number?”

Customer: “My tracking number is 1E8L00L25–”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, are you sure that’s one of our tracking numbers? Generally, our numbers won’t have any letters in the middle.”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure those are the numbers.”

Me: “Are you sure this package wasn’t sent with another service?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m absolutely positive that I sent it with you! It’s the right number, unless–”

(He pauses for a moment as he tries to figure out what’s going on.)

Customer: “Oh. I’m looking at it upside down. It’s 257007831.”

The Identity Thief’s Dream Caller

| Tampa Bay, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [bank]. May I please have your card number?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “I can help look up your account if you don’t have your card with you. May I please have your phone number on file?”

Caller: “I’m not giving you that. You will steal my information.”

Me: “I assure you, ma’am, we keep our security procedures to ensure that your information remains safe. Can I look you up by your name?”

Caller: “I’m not giving you my name or my phone number. You’re going to use it to steal my information. I just want to know what my balance is.”

Me: “Without your card number or another way to look you up, I’m unable to provide your balance information.”

Caller: “Can’t you just look me up by my social?”

Through Joy And Sorrow, Sickness And Health Insurance

| Madison, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(I work for a call center for the state’s health insurance.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

Member: “Hi, I’m calling to make sure my husband’s heath insurance is active.”

Me: “Okay, do you have his ID number or social?”

Member: “Well, no. I’m not sure where his card is and I don’t know his social by heart.”

Me: “Well, is he there with you? I could get it from him.”

Member: “He is, but he can’t really talk right now. He’s having a heart attack.”

Me: “Ma’am, you need to call 911 right now, not us.”

Member: “I will. I just want to make sure he’ll be covered when they take him to the hospital!”

Outcome TV Determined

| Broken Arrow, OK, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer calls in to order a movie from an ad that was just on television.)

Customer: “I want the [name of movie].”

Me: “Okay, do you want it on DVD or VHS?”

Customer: “What’s a DVD?”

Me: “Okay, I’ll send it to you on VHS.”

Customer: “What’s a VHS?”

Me: “A video tape.”

Customer: “A video tape? What the heck is that?”

Me: “The tape you put in your VCR to make the movie come on.”

Customer: “VCR?”

Me: “Is there a box on your TV?”

Customer: “What’s a TV?”

Me: “Your television, the thing you just watched and saw this ad on.”

Customer: “Please just give me the show. You’re making this very confusing.”

Me: “I need to know what format to send it to you.”

Customer: “I don’t know what you’re talking about! My son makes the pictures come on.”

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