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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Prismatically Incorrect

    | Worcester, MA, USA | Funny Names

    Customer: “Hi, do your Renaissance cake toppers have Swastika crystals?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, do you mean Swarovski crystals?”

    Customer: “Yeah, those.”

    No Chance Of Defying Gravity

    | Texas, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    Customer: “I bought tickets for Wicked on Broadway and I want a refund.”

    Me: “Okay, was your show postponed or canceled? That’s the only time we can give refunds.”

    Customer: “Well, I wasn’t able to watch the show so I want my money back.”

    Me: “Why were you unable to watch the show?”

    Customer: “When we got to our seats my husband felt sick from being so high up and we had to leave.”

    Me: “When you purchased the tickets were you aware that they were in the balcony?”

    Customer: “The woman told me they were in the balcony but I didn’t know what that meant. I know what a balcony on a house is, but a theater isn’t a house. I’m not stupid.”

    Me: “If you weren’t sure about the seat placement, why didn’t you ask for clarification?”

    Customer: “I didn’t want to sound stupid. I’m not stupid!”

    Pray They’re Talking About Baby Goats

    | Texas, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (This takes place after setting up installation date for the caller’s service.)

    Me: “Now, do you have any pets or animals that we need the technician to know about?”

    Caller: “Nah, he’ll be alright. I’ll just tie my kids up in the back-yard.”

    Did A Number On This One

    | Louisville, KY, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I am calling a customer.)

    Me: “May I speak to [customer's name] please?”

    Woman: “He’s not here.”

    Me: “This is [name], with [phone company]. I am calling to remind you that your phone bill was due on the 5th and is in danger of being disconnected. Can you tell me when you will be able to pay it?”

    Woman: “How did you get this number? It’s unlisted!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is the phone company. We gave you this phone number.”

    Personal Caller

    | Maryland, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling customer service. My name is [name]. How can I help you today?”

    Elderly Customer: “Are you a person? A real live person?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I certainly am.”

    Elderly Customer: “I got a person! I GOT A PERSON! Oh my goodness, I got a real person!”


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