November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Not Ready For The Digit-al Age

| UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Our customer references are eight digits long, which we need to find the customers on our system.)

Customer: “My reference is-” *gives six digits*

(I wait a couple of seconds.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I think the line may have cut out as that reference is a bit too short.”

Customer: “Do you really need me to read out the whole thing?”

Consuming People

| Scotland, UK | Technology

(I work in a call centre, taking printer consumable orders. Note, the technical support line is on the same phone number as me, so sometimes people come through to the wrong line.)

Me: “[Company] consumables. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, my printer is acting up. I need an engineer sent out.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you’ve come through to the consumables line. You need to call again in order to get a hold of Tech Support.”

Customer: “Even when I’m just ordering an engineer?”

Me: “Yes. The engineer is not a consumable, so he cannot be ordered through here.”

Customer: *huff* “Fine, then.”

Goes Orange With Embarrassment

| USA | Bizarre, Funny Names

Me: “Thank you for calling member services, This is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”


Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “I’m sorry; I was thrown off by your name…  Your name is Carrot? ”

Me: “Um…. No, ma’am, it’s [My Name].”

Caller: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought your parents really named you Carrot! I thought maybe they were horrible hippie people!”

No Re-Write Access

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Hi and welcome to [Company] online sales chat! My name is [My Name]. May I have your name?”

Customer: “The password on my broadband router is rubbing off and getting hard to read.”

Me: “You can re-write the password.”

Customer: “How do I re-write?”

Me: *face palm* “…Get a piece of paper, write the password on it, and tape it to your broadband router?”

Their Stupidity Does Not Compute

| BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer was having some issues logging into her account on our website.)

Me: “First, click on the ‘sign in’ link.”

Customer: “I don’t see it!”

Me: “There’s a white ‘sign in’ button on the top right corner of our website.”

Customer: “I’m looking, I don’t see it!” *getting very frustrated*

Me: “It’s above our logo.”

Customer: “I know. It’s not there. I don’t see it!”

Me: “Are you on [OurWebsite].com?”

Customer: “…No.”

Me: “Are you at your computer right now?”

Customer: “…No.”