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    Might Have To Go Through Alternative Channels

    | Lincoln, NE, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [satellite tv]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I just bought new equipment. Turn it on for me.”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (I take down customer’s info. I try to turn his satellite TV on with no success.)

    Me: “Sir, is your receiver hooked up?”

    Customer: “Yea, it’s plugged in.”

    Me: “Is it connected to the TV?”

    Customer: “Of course. I’m not an idiot!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, they make us ask. Is your satellite dish installed on your roof?”

    Customer: “Is my what on the roof?”

    Me: “Your dish, sir. Is it on the roof?”

    Customer: “I don’t have a dish on the roof, but I have over fifty of them in the kitchen.”

    Post-Grammatic Stress, Part 2

    | East Midlands, England, UK |

    Me: “What date did you arrive in the UK?”

    Customer: “Because I am teacher of English as second language.”

    Studying Post-Grammatic Stress
    Post-Grammatic Stress

    Circular Calls

    | PA, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, does your phone number still work?”

    Me: “Well, you’re taking to me…so yes.”

    Brokers With Chokers

    , | Salt Lake City, UT, USA |

    (We sell all types of insurance, including bonds. I am on the phone to a customer.)

    Caller: “Do you guys do bondage there?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. However, the gentleman that handles that is all tied up at the moment.”

    Customer: “Oh. Haha. Um…yeah.”

    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 7

    , | Glasgow, Scotland, UK |

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to [insurance company]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “I need a quote for home insurance.”

    Me: “No problem. The quote can take up to 15 minutes. Do you have the time?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s 11:15. Why?”

    Me: “Uh… what?”

    Customer: “It’s 11:15. Don’t you have a clock?”

    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 6
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 5
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

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