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    Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2 (Comic)

    | Indiana, USA | Old Comics


    Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie

    It Takes Two Baby

    | Altoona, PA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling, my name is [name]. May I have your phone number please?”

    Customer: “Okay…2.”

    (I wait a few seconds for the customer to finish. The customer stays silent.)

    Me: “And what’s the rest?”

    Customer: “No that’s it.”

    Me: “Your phone number is 2?”

    Customer: “Oh! I thought you asked me what my favorite number was!”

    Badly Signed

    | UK |

    Me: “Good afternoon you’re though to [phone company]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’m trying to work an application on my phone and it’s asking me for a star sign, but you guys haven’t given me one.”

    Me: “We would not give you a star sign. Those are to do with the stars and when you were born.”

    Customer: “I didn’t sign up for that!”

    Me: “It’s not something to sign up for; it’s to do with the constellations around the date of your birth. For example, I am a Pisces.”

    Customer: “What am I then?”

    (I check online using the date of birth on record.)

    Me: “You are Aquarius the water bearer.”

    Customer: “Eh?”

    Me: “Your zodiac is Aquarius.”

    Customer: “My what?”

    Me: “Never mind. You are an Aquarius.”

    Customer: “So do I just put that into the phone then?”

    Me: “Give it a try!”

    Customer: “Will do! If I’m not an Aquarius, can I call back?”

    Not The Cream Of The Crop

    | UK |

    Me: “Thanks for calling [credit card company], how can I help you today?”

    Caller: “I bought my crops on Farmville using your card. I forgot to water them and they’ve all died. Am I covered on purchase protection for that?”

    Me: “Seriously?”

    Caller: “I thought you’d be like that. Thanks anyway.” *click*

    Moving From Utah To Utero

    | Lincoln, NE, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [satellite TV company]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I need to talk to one of your supervisors. His name is Greg.”

    Me: “Well ma’am, I can’t transfer you to any particular supervisor since there are over forty of them in the building. But I’m sure I can help you.”

    Caller: “Is this the call center in Utah?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It’s the one in Nebraska. The one in Utah takes over at midnight.”

    Caller: “Well, I knew Greg when I lived in Utah and he said he worked for you. I just moved down to Texas. And I really need to get hold of him, but he’s not answering. So, transfer me to Greg.”

    Me: “Like I said ma’am, I can’t transfer you to a specific supervisor, but I’m sure I can help you.”

    Caller: “No, you can’t!”

    Me: “Well, I can try.”

    Caller: “Trust me, you can’t!”

    Me: “Well, why not, ma’am?”

    Caller: “I’M PREGNANT, YOU IDIOT!”

    Me: “Oh…I see.”


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