November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Great State Of Confusion, Part 5

| Missouri, USA | Geography

Customer: “I need to know where you’re located. We want to visit the one in Quebec.”

Me: “Okay, we actually don’t have any locations in Quebec. We do have Toronto which is in Ontario, and we have Calgary which is in Alberta.”

Customer: “Um, I think it’s Tor—…no. I think it’s Calgary. That’s right.” *talks to someone in the background* “Wait, I guess it’s the one here in Denver!”

The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
The Great State Of Confusion
The Great State Of Ignorance

All You Need Is Love, Part 2

| Michigan, USA | Awesome Customers

(This is at the end of the conversation after explaining charges to a customer.)

Customer: “Have I told you today that I love you?”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry…what?”

Customer: “Have I told you today that I love you?”

Me: “Oh, you just did.”

Customer: “I love you!”

Me: “Thank you? And thank you for calling [utility company]. Have a great day!”

All You Need Is Love

Blown Away By Insensitivity

| New York, USA | Uncategorized

(I am discussing with a customer why I can’t transfer him to our corporate office. They are located in Kentucky; at this time, they have had to evacuate the building for a tornado watch.)

Customer: “You’re just trying to give me the run around!”

Me: “Sir, they had to evacuate for a tornado!”

Customer: “Yesterday, there was a corporate meeting. Today, there’s a tornado. What about tomorrow? A tidal wave?!”

Me: “Sir, they had to leave. Their lives were in danger.”

Customer: “Surely you can understand my frustration. This is ridiculous!”

Me: “No, sir. I don’t understand your frustration. It’s a tornado.”

Customer: “This is the worst customer service ever!” *hangs up*

Now, Wait Just A New York Minute

| USA | Extra Stupid

(I work in a call center taking customer care calls for cell phones.)

Me: “Welcome to [store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I am going to Ireland and I want to know the per minute rate.”

Me: “Yes, thats no problem. The per minute rate to Ireland is $0.99 per minute.”

Customer: “Is that an Irish minute or an American minute?”

Me: *confused* “Miss, a minute is a minute no matter where you are.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! You’re just trying to get my bill higher than it should be! I will report you to the BBB!”

Weekend Roundup: Time Travel

, , | Not Always Right | Roundups

Time Travel! This week, we show it’s only a matter of “time” before you run into customers with no grasp of time—past, present, or future!

  1. Someone’s About To Get Smacked To The Future:
    An unsuspecting wife gets sent out by a husband on a fool’s errand to look for a flux capacitor—in a flying DeLorean, no doubt.
  2. A Tale Of Time Traveling Tune-Ups:
    The customer is always right, even if it means ripping a hole in the space-time continuum.
  3. Doctor Sue:
    Look, man, we all wish your replica TARDIS actually flew through time, but unless you’re a Time Lord with a chameleon circuit, you’re barking up the wrong police box.
  4. Eastern Standard Time Travelers:
    Getting time zones mixed up with time travel? No big deal, although teleporting New York City three hours into the future would be kinda cool.
  5. Please See The “Time Travel” Section:
    This dinosaur-craving bookstore customer has been watching a little bit too much Jurassic Park!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!