Getting Your Fax Straight

, | South Carolina, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I was in an accident last week and the other guy was at fault. His insurance company has totaled my car out and wants my original title. Can you fax it for me?”

(I think I misheard them, since they won’t receive the original title if I fax it. So, I ask them to clarify.)

Me: “So, they need a copy of it and you need me to fax it?”

Customer: “No, fax the original. That’s what they need.”

Me: “Sorry, but faxing will not result in you having the original.”

Customer: “No, just fax it. They need the original.”

(I try several times more to explain that they won’t get an original through fax, without success. Finally, the customer gives up.)

Customer: “I don’t see what you don’t understand! All you need to do is fax it and they’ll get the original!” *leaves the office grumbling*

At Lease Be Courteous

| USA | Money

(I work in a call center that helps people with pricing and availability on apartment homes. We ask a few questions that may affect the price.)

Me: “So, do you know how long of a lease you would like to sign?”

Caller: “‘Lease’? I’m not signing no d*** lease! I just want to move.”

Me: “Well, you are required to sign a lease if you want an apartment.”

Caller: “I’ve never heard of these ‘leases’! You just want more money!” *hangs up*

This Channel Will Self-Destruct In 10 Commercials

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Technology

(This customer has a problem with his remote control. I help him reprogram it and everything is working just fine now.)

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like we got everything working. If you do ever have a problem with your remote control, we do have instructions on how to program them on our website.”

Customer: “Thank you. I am a little worried about breaking this thing though.”

Me: “Don’t worry, through normal use, you shouldn’t have a problem.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: *jokingly* “Just don’t hit the self destruct button and you’ll be fine.”

(There is a long moment of silence.)

Customer: “Um, I can’t find the self destruct button.”

Zombies Like Shamu Too

| Florida, USA | Liars & Scammers, Zombies

(I work for a call center for a popular marine life theme park in Florida.)

Caller: “I need to cancel the pass for one of my members. He’s deceased.”

(I look into the account and realize that a few months prior, she had another pass for the same guy cancelled as well, due to him also being deceased. Since the first cancelled pass, this individual had been to the park four separate times.)

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize, but I am unable to cancel this pass. For verification purposes, you would need to fax the appropriate paperwork or go to guest relations at the park.”

Caller: *defeated* “Fine, how about I just pay it off in full?”

The Gauntlet Has Been Phoned

| Worcestershire, UK | Uncategorized

(An irate caller is being very nasty and swearing at me down the phone.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you carry on talking to me like that, I will terminate the phone call.”

Caller: “Go on, then. I f***ing dare you.”

Me: “I would like to carry on this conversation calmly, but I will terminate the phone call if you carry on swearing at me.”

Caller: “I f***ing dare you.”

Me: *hangs up*

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