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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Playing Unfair With The Fairer Sex

    | Norway | Top

    (I provide internet support over the phone. I am the only qualified technician working today. I also happen to be female.)

    Me: “Welcome to [company name] internet support. My name is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh, hello sweetheart. I didn’t realize I’d reached the reception. Would you please connect me to internet support?”

    Me: “This is internet support. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I want help with a technical problem. I can’t talk to you. I want to talk to a man!”

    Me: “Sir, I can assure you that I’ll be able to help you with your technical problem. I am the qualified technician here today.”

    Customer: “You are a girl! You have no clue how to help me! This is man stuff. I demand to speak with a man!”

    (This continues for ten minutes. The customer gets more and more aggravated, and starts yelling nasty comments. I give up, and connect him to my coworker, who sits next to me. My coworker is male.)

    Coworker: “Welcome to [company name] internet support. My name is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Finally, a man! My internet is so unstable these days; I can’t seem to stay on it! It takes forever to load and the speed is horrible!”

    Coworker: “Sir, I see the problem, and I’m sending a report. It will be fixed on Monday.”

    Customer: “What? It’s Saturday! Why do you have to wait until Monday? I want it fixed now!”

    Coworker: “Well, we would need a qualified technician to log into the system to fix your line. It’s Saturday, so there is only one qualified technician working.”

    Customer: “Get him to fix it now! I demand to speak with him!”

    Coworker: “Sir, you have already spoken to her.”

    Customer: “Wait. Her?”

    Coworker: “Yes. You spoke to our only qualified technician earlier today. You yelled profanities at her, and demanded to speak to a man.”

    Customer: “So, I’ll be lucky if my internet is up again on Monday?”

    Coworker: “You’ll be lucky if you have internet at all.”

    Massive Fan But Sadly Not A Breeze

    | London, UK | Money

    (Customer calls to order some Justin Bieber-printed merchandise. We get to the checkout phase.)

    Me: “Right, that’s [price].”

    Caller: “I’m a massive fan. Can I get a fan discount?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Caller: “I’m a member of the fan club. I should get discount for that or something!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but we aren’t able to give that kind of discount.”

    Caller: “This is appalling. You should give his fans money off! We deserve it! His fans shouldn’t have to pay as much for his products!”

    Me: “Madam, I doubt anyone who wasn’t a fan would be buying these anyway. So, technically, you are getting the fan price.”

    *silence*

    Caller: “Screw this. I’ll do it online!”

    Not The Apple From The Tree Of Knowledge

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [mobile carrier's name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I have an issue with my iPhone.”

    Me: “I will be happy to help you. What is the issue with your iPhone?

    Customer: “It’s just that when I turn it on, the apple on the screen appears bitten. Is that okay?”

    IQ Phone Home

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [phone support]. What appears to be the problem?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’m calling because I have been unable to make phone calls from my home phone.”

    Me: “Ma’am, what phone are you calling from right now?”

    Caller: “My home phone, why?” *pause* “Wait, you’ve fixed it! Thank you!” *hangs up*

    Floods Cause A Whole Raft Of Problems

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests

    (Queensland is suffering major flooding throughout the state. I’m tracking a customer’s order that was placed last week and still hasn’t arrived.)

    Me: “Okay, I’ve tracked your order with our courier. Unfortunately, due to flooding there are a lot of road closures which is why your order has not been delivered.”

    Customer: “But it’s not even raining that much, and the water isn’t that high in the streets.”

    Me: “I am sorry for any inconvenience but the courier can not risk driving through flood water.”

    *long pause*

    Customer: “So it won’t be here today?”

    Me: “Not unless you have a boat.”

    Click here to donate to the Queensland Flood Relief:
    http://www.qld.gov.au/floods/donate.html


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