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Their Brain Was In Another County When They Made That Booking

, , , , , , | Working | October 22, 2022

I work for the Stockholm transportation service for elderly and/or disabled people who can’t use public transportation. It’s a relatively easy job; customers call, order a taxi or sick transport, I enter it into the system, the customer is billed at the end of the month, and that’s that. To our aid, we have an extensive database of all the nooks and crannies of Metropolitan Stockholm, so you’d think there’d be zero ways to mess up a booking, right? Wrong.

One late evening, close to midnight, a customer calls in asking where her taxi is. 

Me: “Could you please confirm to me which address you were going from?”

Customer: “From [Street] in [County #1] — and I specifically told the booking agent that it was [County #1] — for 2325 hours [11:25 pm]. But now the taxi driver has called me asking where I am. Turns out you guys sent my taxi to [Street] in [County #2]!”

I look in horror at the booking; the customer is absolutely right. The exact same street name is to be found in several counties of the Stockholm region, which is why we have our database to avoid screw-ups like these. Plus, we are told to double-check with the customer if there’s the slightest ambiguity.

But the calamity doesn’t end there. The customer has three more identical bookings, each scheduled for thirty minutes later than the initial booking. She’s adamant that she’s only spoken to the initial booking agent and then me, and while I wonder where the cloned extra bookings have come from, this is not the time to start loudly debating their source of origin.

Me: “Well, I apologise profusely for the mishap, madam. Let me just order a new taxi for you, to the right address. And to confirm, it will be from [Street] in [County #1].”

Customer: “Sounds great! And when will it be here?”

Usually, during the wee hours, we can get a taxi fairly quickly. However, the cloned trips had already been distributed to various taxi companies, meaning I could no longer cancel or delete them. And because we have an archaic booking system, to put it mildly — think 1980s Telnet data terminal and only keyboard commands — the system won’t let us place another booking if there’s already a trip booked for that time frame. (Again, this made me ponder where the clones had come from; there should have been one, tops!). I ended up having to deliberately push the real booking by twenty-five minutes just to make the system shut up.

And the icing on the cake? The customer will have to call our customer service in the morning to have these four erroneous bookings refunded; it’s not something that we mortal phone monkeys can do. All this shambles is just because some moron of a coworker couldn’t be bothered double-checking a simple county name with the customer!

Someone This Dumb Shouldn’t Be Driving In The First Place

, , , | Right | October 22, 2022

Caller: “You need to change my address!”

Me: “Let me get right on that for you.”

Caller: “I don’t want the bank to know where I live because they’re going to repossess my car! I need to throw them off.”

She didn’t quite think that through.

You Can’t Escape The (Over)Draft

, , , , , | Right | October 21, 2022

On Monday morning, I get this call:

Caller: “There’s a $300 overdraft on my account! How did that get there?!”

Me: “Whatever you buy during the weekend does not get subtracted from your account until the next business day, which is today, Monday.”

Caller: “But I had money in my account on Friday!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am seeing your end-of-business-day balance, which is whatever you had in your account Friday after the processing cutoff. It was $86.”

Caller: “Yes! See?!”

I then confirm that her weekend purchases of a 120-dollar dinner, seventy-nine bucks in a club, and $200 at a fancy retail store are valid. They are.

Me: “Ma’am, if you knew you only had $86, you should not have spent so much money during the weekend.”

Caller: “It’s your fault for letting me spend so much money! You need to ensure that all overdraft fees be reimbursed because you should have stopped me from making those purchases!”

The Anti-Vaxxers Started With Dishes

, , , , | Right | October 20, 2022

Caller: “I need you to move the satellite that’s near my son’s bedroom window.”

Me: “Can I have your account information?”

Caller: “I don’t have an account. It’s my neighbor’s satellite dish.”

Me: “Please have your neighbor call in if they want it moved, and we can move it.”

Caller: *Angry* “No! You have to move it now! The rays are coming in from the dish and giving my son autism!

I tried to tell her that the dish is a receiver and doesn’t emit anything, but she didn’t believe me. Big surprise.

Sooo Not Ready For The Internet, Part 5

, , , , | Right | October 20, 2022

I have just helped a caller get their Internet back up and running — a simple case of resetting their router.

Caller: “Thank you for bringing back the Internet!”

Me: “I’m glad I could help, sir.”

Caller: “Should someone tell everyone else?”

Me: “Tell them what?”

Caller: “That the Internet is working again?”

Me: “Oh, no, we only needed to fix your Internet.”

Caller: “You mean everyone else still doesn’t have Internet?! How silly!” *Click*

Related:
Sooo Not Ready For The Internet, Part 4
Sooo Not Ready For The Internet, Part 3
Sooo Not Ready For The Internet, Part 2
Sooo Not Ready For The Internet