November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Weekly Roundup: Lost & Confused

, , , , | Not Always Right | Geography, Roundups

Lost & Confused: This week, we feature five stories of customers who are “geographically disadvantaged!”

  1. For The Love Of God, Get GPS:
    An employee serves as a human GPS for one completely lost customer!
  2. More Cars Than Common Sense:
    A couple thinks they lost their car, when they’ve really lost their minds.
  3. For The Love Of God, Get GPS, Part 2:
    This confused hotel guest puts the “duh” in Cana-duh!
  4. At The Corner Of Me & Myself:
    We need more than your living room to locate you, sir.
  5. The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4:
    An airline passenger ends up in New Orleans, LA–Los Angeles, that is!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Take Your Time, And Ours Too

| Ohio, USA | Food & Drink, Technology, Time

(Note: I have been trying to help a caller get logged into our website for 20 minutes, but she keeps mistyping her username.)

Me: “Alright, let’s try this again. Remember that your username is ******. So, try it again and I’ll wait for you to type.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ll try it again. Just give me a minute to type.”

(For a few minutes, there is silence. Then, I hear her get up, walk away from the phone, and begin to punch what sounds like microwave buttons. Soon afterwards, I hear popcorn popping.)

Me: *confused* “Are you still trying to enter your username?”

Caller: “Oh! Are we still trying to get me logged in? I thought we were just chatting now, and I thought I would make myself a snack!”

Indiscriminate Discrimi-Nation

| Chicago, USA | Bigotry

(I work in a call center as a supervisor. I overhear this conversation.)

Representative: “Thank you for holding. This is [Pakistani name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’m sorry, what is your name?”

Representative: “[Pakistani name], sir.”

Customer: “Where are you located?”

Representative: “In Chicago, sir.”

Customer: “Are you sure you’re not in India? You sound like you’re Indian.”

(Note: the rep was born and raised in Chicago and is the son of an English father and Pakistani mother. He has no accent whatsoever.)

Representative: “Sir, I am certain we are in Chicago.”

Customer: “I want to talk to an American! I don’t want to talk to someone in India.”

Representative: “Sir, I was born and raised in the US. My parents are English and Pakistani, not Indian.”

Customer: “I want to talk to someone in America!”

Representative: “Sir, again I can assure you: you are talking to an American in America.”


Representative: “Sir, I am an American.”

Customer: “I know you people are in India! I’m complaining to my company that they outsourced us to you!” *hangs up*

The Oldest Chick In The Book

| Deland, FL, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money

Caller: “I don’t understand why I have a late fee on my account. I always pay on time.”

Me: “Okay, I would be happy to look into that for you today. I see the late fee and I think I see the problem. However, I would like a brief minute to continue looking through your account to verify why you are receiving late fees. May I please place you on hold?”

Caller: “Okay, then.”

(I check her statements for the last 6 months and see that she missed two consecutive payments. She recently started paying only $5 a month.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. I apologize for the wait. I think I see what happened. I see that we have been receiving your $5 payments by the due date. However, they do not cover your $127 minimum payment, so you are being charged late fees.”

Caller: “But I’m making my payment on time.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, however the payment that we are receiving does not cover your minimum due.”

Caller: “But you’re getting my payment before the due date.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but $5 does not cover your minimum due.”

Caller: “Well, what is my minimum due?”

Me: “Your minimum due on your last statement was $127.”

Caller: “So that pays off my account. I’ll pay you $127 and you can’t charge me any more fees, right? That will pay off my account.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but $127 was the amount that you owed us for the month of January. You will still owe us another minimum payment by February 28th.”

Caller: “Okay, so how many months do I have to pay to pay off my account?”

Me: “Well, as stated on your last statement, you would have to pay the minimum due for 5 years on time each month to pay off your balance.”

Caller: “Well, how much is that?”

Me: “$6,200.”

Caller: “So, how will it take me to pay off my balance if I pay $5 a month?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but since $5 does not cover your minimum payment and our late fees are $35, you would be unable to pay off your balance.”

Caller: “Well, why would you do that? You just want everyone to give you $5 every month for the rest of their lives! Let me talk to your supervisor! You people can’t do that! It’s ILLEGAL!”

Me: “Okay, may I please place you on a brief 1 to 2 minute hold while I get my supervisor on the line for you?”

Caller: *whispering* “She’s getting a supervisor, but it’s going to take another 15 minutes.”

Grumpy Old Man: *in the background* “I told you they wouldn’t fall for that you stupid woman. Just pay them their d*** money so we can order Chinese!”

Caller: *click*

Weekend Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 2

, , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Technology

Tech Support Classics, Part 2: This week, we feature another five stories that reveal the trials, tribulations, and terrors that technical support employees endure daily! PS–also check out Tech Support Classics, Part 1!

  1. Scareware Makes Us Aware:
    TMI: getting an STD from an FLV!
  2. Workin’ That Tech Support Magic:
    A clever tech support employee gets some magical help!
  3. Get A Life:
    A “real”-ly demanding customer gets a “reality” check.
  4. What She Needs Is A Skynet:
    Artificial intelligence meets zero intelligence.
  5. How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2:
    A user points and clicks their way into the Tech Support Hall Of Shame!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!