October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Just Calling It As I See It

| Columbus, OH, USA | Uncategorized

(I am a telephone operator for a very large international company. Callers need to know the first and last name of the person they need to be transferred to.)

Caller: “Hi, can I be transferred to Steve?”

Me: “Sure, what’s Steve’s last name?”

Caller: “Oh, I don’t know his last name. I just know his name is Steve.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is the global directory and I would have no way of looking him up without his last name.”

Caller: “Oh, I see. Well, I’ll just call him and get his last name, then.”

Me: “Wait…if you have his direct number, why were you calling me in the first place?”

Caller: *hangs up*

Social Notworking

, | Arizona, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, School

Me: “Good morning! ASU Information.”

Caller: “Umm, yeah, hi. Where am I?”

Me: “You have reached the ASU information desk. How can I help you?”

Caller: “No. I mean, like, where am I?”

Me: “Could you be more specific please?”

Caller: “Dude, I don’t know where I am. Can you find me?”

Me: “Are there people near you?”

Caller: “Um, yeah.”

Me: “Do any of them know where you are?”

Caller: “How do I find that out?”

Me: “Walk up to one of them, smile, and ask them if they know where you are.”

Caller: “Okay, thanks!” *fumbling around, muffled talking, phone beeping* “You are so awesome; it worked! Thanks!”

Redress Address For Mistress Distress

| Wisconsin, USA | Spouses & Partners, Top

Customer: “I’m canceling my credit card. You stupid idiots sent a statement to the wrong house!”

Me: “I do apologize if we sent your statement to the wrong address, but if you’d like, we can correct the address on file so that you can get your statements. What address would you like to receive them at?”

Customer: “No, you don’t get it. I am CANCELING! This was supposed to be a joint account with my boyfriend, but you f***ing idiots sent the statement to my boyfriend’s house because that was the address he signed up with. It’s your fault that his WIFE found it!”

Size Matters, Part 8

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(A parent is asking about a supplemental document she needs to upload for her financial aid application. She’s having a little trouble.)

Parent: “It says here that the file needs to be under 4 megabytes, but the file I need to upload is 4.49 megabytes. So, is 4.49 bigger than 4?”

Size Matters, Part 7
Size Matters, Part 6
Size Matters, Part 5
Size Matters, Part 4
Size Matters, Part 3
Size Matters, Part 2
Size Matters

Qurious Qucumbers

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Language & Words

Me: “Okay, great. Your confirmation number is A like ‘Apple’, Z like ‘Zebra’, Q like—”

Customer: *cheerfully* “Q like ‘Cucumber’?”

Me: “Sure. Q like Cucumber it is.”

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