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    Yukon Call Them

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada |

    Caller: “Hello, this is [name] from [company]. I’m calling to get the satellite hooked up.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

    Caller: “This is [name] from [company] in Guyana. You know, Guyana, South America. We ordered satellite service last week.”

    (Our company has nothing to do with satellites. We do not have service anywhere near Guyana. I explain as such to the caller.)

    Caller: “Oh. Well, where are you located? Brazil?”

    Me: “No, sir. We’re up in Canada.”

    Caller: “Oh dear, I DO have the wrong number, don’t I?”

    Related:
    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 3
    Yukon Not Spend It
    Yukon Not Believe This Juan

    Childs-pay

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Top

    Customer: “Okay, so do you take credit card?”

    Me: “Of course we do. We take Visa, Mastercard, American Express, first born child…you know, the usual.”

    Customer: “Trust me, you do not want my first born child. He’s 41 and way too much of a liability for your company.”

    This One Will Be Slow To Register

    | Hays, KS, USA |

    (I am supervisor. I take calls from normal representatives when customers ask for it.)

    Me: “Why is the customer escalating?”

    Representative: “He doesn’t know what he purchased.”

    (Although skeptical, I have the rep bring the customer on.)

    Me: “I’d be happy to help you out, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “The last guy wouldn’t register my product.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to. When was it purchased?”

    Customer: “Today.”

    Me: “And how much did you pay?”

    Customer: “$50.”

    Me: “Alright, what is the product?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “I need to know what it is to register it, sir.”

    Customer: “Why can’t you just register it without that?”

    Video Killed The Emergency Radio Broadcast

    | Buffalo, NY, USA |

    (It is 2005. Hurricane Wilma has just flattened our service area.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [cable company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Look son, I just got my generator going. Where’s my f***ing cable TV?”

    Answer Pwned

    | Worcester, England, UK |

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] speaking. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Hello, I’ve got an answer phone message from you saying my boiler engineer appointment is today. I accidentally deleted the message. Does that mean he’s not coming?”


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