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  • Make Benefit Glorious Sunshinestan

    | Maine, USA | Geography

    (I work for a popular cell phone company in general care. I am answering questions about a woman’s international charges.)

    Customer: “I don’t get why you are billing me for international!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, since you do not have an international plan, you get charged per minute for calls internationally.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make sense! Why don’t you charge me for calls to Florida?”

    Me: “Florida isn’t international, ma’am. That’s a part of the United States.”

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    The Great State Of Confusion
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    The Sticky Details

    | Huntington, WV, USA | Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. This is [name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, [name]. Look, my TV controller won’t work. Can you help me?”

    (I try troubleshooting, but nothing I suggest seems to work. After almost 20 minutes, he hangs up, saying he’ll call back. A few hours later…)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Can I speak to [my name]? I talked to him a few hours ago.”

    Coworker: “Oh, I’m sorry. He clocked out half an hour ago.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. Well, when you see him again, tell him I found out why my controller wouldn’t work. I probably should’ve told him I had spilled soda all over it.”

    Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name

    | Pennsylvania, USA |

    (I work at a call center as a customer service representative for prepaid debit cards, payroll cards and rewards cards.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. My name is Jordan. May I have your card number, please?”

    Customer: “Jordan, huh? Like the river?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, in that case, I’d love to take a swim in your river, honey.”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “Please, you don’t have to call me sir. Call me [first name].”

    Me: “Alright, [first name].”

    Customer: “Oh, I love the way you say my name. Could you say it again?”

    Me: “I beg your pardon? Is there anything I can do for you today?”

    Customer: “No, Jordan. I’m fine.”

    Me: “Okay. Well, thank you for calling [company] and you enjoy your day, sir.”

    Customer: “Now, Jordan, what did I say about that?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I meant [first name].”

    Customer: “There we go. Thank you, Jordan. Bye bye, now!”

    Not In Ermurica

    , | Minnesota, USA | Bigotry

    Me: “Thank you for calling [cable company], this is [name]. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “Do you speak English?”

    Me: “Yes, I do. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Are you in Ermurica?”

    Me: “Yes, I am in America.”

    Caller: “You don’t sound like you’re an Ermurican. You sure you’re not in some Middle Eastern country like Australia?”

    (Note: I am a caucasian male from Minnesota and I speak like one.)

    Me: “No, I am in Minnesota, sir, speaking English. Is there an issue with your cable, or do you have–”

    Caller: “Minnesota?! How is that Ermurican?” *hangs up*

    An Invitation Nonetheless

    , | Jacksonburg, OH, USA | Top

    Me: “911, what is your emergency?”

    Caller: “I’m a bad, bad boy.”

    Me: “Yes, you are. I have a squad car en route to your location. Have a good day, sir.”

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