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    That’ll Be An Arm And A Never Mind

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (A customer is complaining that we have cancelled her membership with us, even though she hasn’t paid for it for 6 months.)

    Customer: “This is getting ridiculous. I am going to take this to [local news station]. I’m disabled, and you’re discriminating against me because I am disabled.”

    Me: “I am not discriminating against you. The same rule applies to all members who fail to pay for their membership. Unfortunately, it has been cancelled and the only way to become a member again is to rejoin.”

    Customer: “If you don’t fix this for me, I’m going to come down there to your head office, take off my prosthetic leg, and beat you with it! Good bye!”

    Peek A Peck Of Peekers in Peckville

    | Scranton, PA, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like the number for [corporation] in Peekville, Pennsylvania. They sent me the wrong pants and I want to complain.”

    Me: “Sir, there is no Peekville showing in Pennsylvania, but you’re in luck. I’m from the area and actually applied for that company when I applied here. I believe you mean Peckville.”

    Customer: “I said Peek-ville, Pennsylvania.”

    Me: “Sir, there is no Peekville in Pennsylvania. Is there another town you would like me to try?”

    Customer: “There has to be a Peekville. The package came from there.”

    Me: “Sir, how do you spell Peekville?”

    Customer: “P-E-C-K-V-I-L-L-E.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, let me get that for you.”

    Losing Faith In Humanity, Bit By Bit

    | New Jersey, USA | Technology

    (I help set up new computers. I set up a new system for a user last week, and didn’t get to finish because she was out of office. She comes in today looking rather irritated.)

    User: “I want all my 64 bits.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    User: “My new computer has Windows 7, right?”

    Me: “Yes, it does. Is there something wrong with it?”

    User: “You do know that means it uses up 7 bits, right?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    User: “So, I want all of my 64 bits back!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it doesn’t work–”

    User: “Never mind! You’re useless!” *storms out*

    Rounding Down To The Nearest Child

    , | Assen, The Netherlands | Family & Kids

    (I work in a call center that answers calls from people with broken cars in foreign countries. We always ask how many people are on board of the car.)

    Me: “Are there any children in your car?”

    Customer: “Yes, four children. One of the children is under four. Three are aged between four and twelve and one is older than twelve.”

    Me: “So, you have five children?”

    Customer: “No! Four children!”

    Me: “But, you just mentioned five children.”

    Customer: “Don’t you think I know how many kids I have?”

    Customer, to his wife: “Honey, how many kids do we have?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ve got five children.”

    Destination Or Bust

    , | New Zealand | Extra Stupid

    (I work in the call center for a road side assistance company in New Zealand. When members run out of fuel, we can bring it out to them, but they must pay for the fuel.)

    Me: “Welcome to road service, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m out of fuel and I’m in the middle of [remote mountain pass].”

    Me: “That’s fine, we can find you. Do you have money for the fuel?”

    Customer: “Of course not! If I had money, I would have filled-up before I started on my trip, you idiot!”

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