July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Social Notworking

, | Arizona, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, School

Me: “Good morning! ASU Information.”

Caller: “Umm, yeah, hi. Where am I?”

Me: “You have reached the ASU information desk. How can I help you?”

Caller: “No. I mean, like, where am I?”

Me: “Could you be more specific please?”

Caller: “Dude, I don’t know where I am. Can you find me?”

Me: “Are there people near you?”

Caller: “Um, yeah.”

Me: “Do any of them know where you are?”

Caller: “How do I find that out?”

Me: “Walk up to one of them, smile, and ask them if they know where you are.”

Caller: “Okay, thanks!” *fumbling around, muffled talking, phone beeping* “You are so awesome; it worked! Thanks!”

Redress Address For Mistress Distress

| Wisconsin, USA | Spouses & Partners, Top

Customer: “I’m canceling my credit card. You stupid idiots sent a statement to the wrong house!”

Me: “I do apologize if we sent your statement to the wrong address, but if you’d like, we can correct the address on file so that you can get your statements. What address would you like to receive them at?”

Customer: “No, you don’t get it. I am CANCELING! This was supposed to be a joint account with my boyfriend, but you f***ing idiots sent the statement to my boyfriend’s house because that was the address he signed up with. It’s your fault that his WIFE found it!”

Size Matters, Part 8

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(A parent is asking about a supplemental document she needs to upload for her financial aid application. She’s having a little trouble.)

Parent: “It says here that the file needs to be under 4 megabytes, but the file I need to upload is 4.49 megabytes. So, is 4.49 bigger than 4?”

Related:
Size Matters, Part 7
Size Matters, Part 6
Size Matters, Part 5
Size Matters, Part 4
Size Matters, Part 3
Size Matters, Part 2
Size Matters

Qurious Qucumbers

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Language & Words

Me: “Okay, great. Your confirmation number is A like ‘Apple’, Z like ‘Zebra’, Q like—”

Customer: *cheerfully* “Q like ‘Cucumber’?”

Me: “Sure. Q like Cucumber it is.”

Talladega Springs To Mind

, | USA | Geography

Customer: “Do I have signal where I live?”

Me: “I would be happy to check for you. What is your city and state?”

Customer: “I live in Alamb-ma.”

Me: “What is the zip code where you live in Alabama?”

Customer: *gives me a zip code*

Me: “That zip code is a Georgia location. You wanted coverage for Alabama, correct?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t know the zip code, so I made one up.”

Me: “That’s fine. Let’s try searching by city name instead.”

Customer: “It begins with T-A-L-L…but…I don’t know the letters after that.”

Me: “Why don’t I just pull up the map for the entire state for you…”

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