Weekend Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 2

, , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Technology

Tech Support Classics, Part 2: This week, we feature another five stories that reveal the trials, tribulations, and terrors that technical support employees endure daily! PS–also check out Tech Support Classics, Part 1!

  1. Scareware Makes Us Aware:
    TMI: getting an STD from an FLV!
  2. Workin’ That Tech Support Magic:
    A clever tech support employee gets some magical help!
  3. Get A Life:
    A “real”-ly demanding customer gets a “reality” check.
  4. What She Needs Is A Skynet:
    Artificial intelligence meets zero intelligence.
  5. How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2:
    A user points and clicks their way into the Tech Support Hall Of Shame!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Blood Money

, | Texas, USA | Health & Body

(A caller is on the phone applying for a loan. We get to the part with his income.)

Me: “Okay, where are you employed?”

Caller: “I don’t work. I sell blood.”

Me: *confused* “You mean at blood banks?”

Caller: “Sometimes at blood banks. Sometimes on the street…”

On A Power Trip

| Maryland, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work nights in a call center. Tonight, I am taking calls for a company that handles electric repairs for farm equipment and generators. Since they have “Electric” in their name, we get a lot of calls for people trying to reach the power company. It’s about 2 AM.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “I ain’t got no ‘lectric.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but this isn’t—”

Caller: “What you gonna do ’bout it? My son has asthma; he can’t be without air conditioning!”

(Note that it’s about 50 degrees outside, so it’s not hot at all.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that as well, but this isn’t—”

Caller: “He’s turning blue!”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you should take him to the emergency room right away!”

Caller: “They ain’t got no power either!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can see the hospital from my office window. They appear to have power.”

Caller: “Listen, you! We have no power and my child is sick. You need to do something.”

Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve been trying to explain, this isn’t your electric company. This is a a generator company for farm equipment. I’m pretty sure you have the wrong number. If you are concerned about the child, I urge you to take them to the hospital or call 911!”

Caller: “If you came into MY restaurant to eat, got sick, and called to complain, I would fix the problem. I wouldn’t tell you to go to the hospital!”

Me: “Ma’am, at this point, I really feel you are being needlessly antagonistic. I’ve told you that you have the wrong number and there’s nothing I can do for you. If you don’t want to take him to the hospital and he needs air conditioning to breathe, I suggest you take him outside. It’s only 50 degrees out—”

Caller: “Did you just call me evil?! I’ll have your job for this! I’m recording this call, you little b****! And when I find you–”

Me: “All of our calls are recorded, ma’am. If you continue to threaten me, I will contact the police. You have the wrong number. Good night.”

(She calls back at least a dozen more times, continuing not to listen, refusing to believe she has the wrong number, or that there is power at the hospital.)

By Doing Nothing, The Customer Solves Itself

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Technology

(I work at a call center for an online auction site.  The first thing we need to ask when we answer the phone is for their user name.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. May I have your user name, please?”

Caller: “It’s [user name].”

Me: “Thanks. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “I forgot my user name.”

Me: “You mean the user name you just provided me with?”

(There’s an awkward pause while the caller processes what I’ve said.)

Caller: “Oh…never mind!” *click*

Related:
By Doing Nothing, The Problem Solves Itself

Weekend Roundup: Spelling Disasters

, , , | Not Always Right | Language & Words, Roundups

Spelling Disasters! This week, we share five stories of customers with spelling so bad, they need it spelled out for them!

  1. Their Spelling Is Wrong, But They Are Sticking To It:
    E is for Elmer’s Eskimos—you know, the ones that live in Eglues!
  2. It’s Spelled I-d-i-o-t:
    Welcome to Indiamimbindokiamn, Indiana. Population: Stupid!
  3. I Have Lost A Dream:
    A lost customer does battle with an abbreviation—and loses.
  4. Congra-duh-lations:
    Congra-du-lations, your cake’s spelling is a lie!
  5. Spelling Gone Rogue:
    Somehow, “going rouge” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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