October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Courage Under Fire

| Boise, ID, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to make a payment on my account, please.”

(Suddenly, the fire alarm starts screaming its little mechanical head off.)

Me: “Sir, I apologize, but our fire alarm is going off and I have to leave the building. You’ll need to call back.”

Caller: “I don’t give a d*** if you burn to death. You’re going to take my payment right now!”

Me: “Not happening, sir. Please call back.” *I hang up the call*

Manager: “Why are you still sitting there? Get out! Do you want to burn to death?”

Me: “Well, the customer wanted me to!” *I grab my purse and run out*

We Few, We Unhappy Few

| Houston, TX, USA | Top

(After receiving excellent customer service from a representative, I ask to be transferred to a supervisor.)

Supervisor: “Hello, I’m [name]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hello! I was just working with [name of rep], and I wanted to tell someone what a great job she did. She was patient, friendly, efficient and knowledgeable, and she really helped me out.”

Supervisor: “I’m very glad to hear that! Thanks so much for bringing this to my attention! I sincerely apologize!”

Me: “Um…you apologize?”

Supervisor: “Oops. I meant to say ‘appreciate’. I guess I’m just used to taking calls and immediately having to apologize.”

Me: *laughing* “No worries whatsoever. I work in customer service, too.”

Supervisor: “OH. Then you know.”

Ceiling Cat Is Watching You

| USA | Pets & Animals

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi there, my name is Charlie—”

Customer: “Charlie’s a boy’s name! You’re a girl!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Anyway, I’m calling from [company name] to talk to you about the new security system we’re offering.”

Customer: “I don’t need it.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s really nifty and it has all sorts of special features if you’d allow me to describe them.”

Customer: “Nah. I’ve got my girlfriend’s cat.”

Me: “A…cat, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah. Any time anyone comes in the house, he won’t leave them alone until they feed him. He’s really cute, but it’s the most irritating thing ever. They’d get annoyed and leave!”

Butting In

| Ridgewood, NJ, USA | Family & Kids

(My job involves calling people to set up demos. During one such phone call, the following occurs.)

Me: “Hello, is [name] there?”

Customer: “No, she’s not at home right now. This is her husband.”

Me: “Okay, is there a better time for me to reach her?”

(Suddenly, I hear someone pick up the phone. It’s a child’s voice, and very audible.)

Young Voice:Hello?

Customer: *ignores her* “Well, what are you calling in reference to?”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: “I’m friends with [friend], and she said your wife might be nice enough to help me out with something.”

Young Voice:Dad?

Customer: *to his kid* “One second, sweetie.” *to me* “You know, why don’t I take a message?”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: “Yeah, that works, too.”

Young Voice:Dad?

Customer: “Okay, what’s your name?”

Me: “I’m [name].”

Young Voice:Dad? Can you come upstairs, please?

Customer: *to his kid* “Just give me a minute!” *to me* “And how do you spell that?”

Me: *I spell it out*

Young Voice:Dad?

Customer: “And your phone number?”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: “It’s [area code]—”

Young Voice:Dad?

Me: *says the next three digits*

Young Voice:DAD? DAAAAAD?

Customer: “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Me: *repeats the next three digits*

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: *says the next four digits*

Young Voice:DAD!

Customer: “Just a minute, please!” *to me* “Could you repeat that again?”

Me: *repeats the next four digits*

Customer: “Okay, so that’s [name] at [phone number]. I’ll make sure she gets that. Thanks.”


Customer: *click*

Power Trips Of Ten

| New Port Richey, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Language & Words

(I work for a company that sends techs out to repair TVs and computers in customers’ homes. We have an automated call that goes out to confirm customers’ contact information and addresses. One day, a customer calls in.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I got that auto-call and it got my address wrong.”

Me: “Okay, just a second…”

(I pull up the customer’s information.)

Me: “Okay, I see that we have the address listed as 1-3-6 West—”


Me: *confused*

Caller: “You fix that, okay?”

Me: “Sure…sir. I’ll…update that right now for you.”

Caller: “Thanks…bye!” *click*

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