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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    In Threat Of A Disconnect

    | Nottingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a large local cable and telephone company. My department deals with clients that haven’t paid their bills and had their service suspended. I have dealt with a lot of abuse everyday for the last two years. This has taken its toll and I’m now in my final week of my month’s notice. A particularly vile client has come through. We have suspended his cable service on the day of a big football match.)

    Me: “Good afternoon. You’re through to [Cable Company]. My name is [First Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Listen b****. You need to turn my cable back on right now! I’ve got f****** friends coming over to watch the match!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It looks like your service has been suspended as you have two months charges currently outstanding. We will be unable to reconnect your service without the account being settled in full. However, if you would like me to take a card payment now I can get you reconnected in about 10 minutes.”

    Customer: “Listen, you’ll get your money when I’m good and ready. I’m sick of your company. I swear I’m going to rip your f****** equipment out of the wall and throw it in the garden if you don’t switch it back on NOW!”

    Me: “I wouldn’t advise that, sir. The box is leased, so any damage would be added to your bill. So, did you wish to make a card payment so I can get you reconnected?”

    Customer: “LISTEN, YOU S***!”

    Me: “Can you please refrain from using bad language? You have not paid your bill for two months and would have received a notice and a final notice to warn you of this. If you are unwilling to pay the bill today there is nothing further I can do for you. Once you pay at [locations] or over the phone I can get you reconnected.”

    Customer: “YOU F****** B****! YOU CONNECT MY TV RIGHT NOW OR I’M COMING DOWN THERE WITH A KNIFE AND A BASEBALL BAT AND I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! CONNECT IT NOW OR I WILL KILL YOU!”

    (Although death threats are quite common, for some reason, maybe because I’m working my notice, I find this one extremely funny and begin to laugh.)

    Customer: “WHAT ARE YOU F****** LAUGHING AT?! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

    Me: “The reason I’m laughing, sir, is that you have threatened to kill me despite me having your full name and address on screen. I could report you to the police but to be honest I think that would be a waste of their time. So, did you want me to process a payment or not?”

    Customer: “I’M COMING DOWN TO YOUR OFFICE NOW WITH A BASEBALL BAT!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’m not sure how you’re going to as you live in [town about an hour and half drive] and I’m due to finish my shift in half an hour at an office where over 500 people are employed. You only have my first name and no idea what I look like, so I wish you well. Also, while you’ve been on the phone I’ve noticed your phone bill is also overdue and will make sure this service is also suspended so you do not incur any further fees to increase your outstanding balance. Now, if there is nothing further I can do for you I’ll have to say goodbye as I’m going home to watch the football match this afternoon.”

    Customer: *unintelligible screams*

    Me: *as brightly as possible* “In that case, thank you for your call. Goodbye.” *click*

    Underpinning Their Own Stupidity

    , | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (We aren’t allowed to know customer’s personal identification numbers (PIN). If they disclose it, we have to reissue a new one, blocking their current one and starting a seven day wait for a new one to be sent.)

    Me: “Okay, you’ll need your PIN to set up online banking. Without telling me what it is, can you tell me if you know your PIN?”

    Caller: “Why can’t I say my PIN?”

    Me: “It’s your secure PIN. You shouldn’t disclose it to anyone, not even me. If you do, I’m required to replace it. That will delay what you want to do today. So, please don’t tell me what it is. Do you know your PIN? Just yes or no will be fine.”

    Caller: “My PIN is 1234. I forbid you to replace it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I asked you not to tell me, and I explained why. I have to replace it now. I am truly sorry. It will take up to seven business days for you to receive it by mail.”

    Caller: “DON’T YOU DARE! I NEED ONLINE BANKING TO WORK TODAY!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I did explain this. I also have no option. I’m now required to replace your PIN for security.”

    Caller: “But I need this set up today! It’s urgent!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you clearly understood me. Can I ask, why did you tell me your PIN after I asked you not to?”

    Caller: “I DON’T LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO!”

    Hasn’t Got A Mind For Business

    | Draper, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at a call center for a website that sells musical equipment. A customer has called in with a complaint. He places an order for a pair of powered speakers. There is also a canceled order for a different pair of powered speakers. Apparently, the wrong set of speakers was canceled and the customer is very upset that he received the wrong speakers. I immediately set up a return/exchange for him so he could get the speakers he wanted. For some reason, he was also under the impression that the price he was quoted for the second set of speakers was for the speakers and a wireless microphone. Unfortunately, it was just for the speakers.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the price you were quoted is only for the set of speakers. If you want to add the wireless microphone to the order, it will be [price].”

    Caller: “That’s not right. I was quoted [price of speakers] before! I want that price!”

    Me: “I do apologize, sir. I can’t get you that price. You need to pay for the microphone before we can send it to you.”

    Caller: “I already paid for it! It was on the order with the other speakers!”

    Me: “That order was canceled, sir. We didn’t take any money from you for that order.”

    Caller: “You’re wrong. I paid for that.”

    Me: “No, sir. You didn’t. The order was canceled. We legally cannot take money from you until we ship something out. Since that order was canceled, it was never sent out. You did not pay for that order. If you would like to add the wireless microphone, your order total will be [price].”

    Caller: “NO, IT’S NOT! YOU’RE WRONG! NOW SEND ME WHAT I BOUGHT!”

    Me: “You didn’t buy them! The order was canceled!”

    Caller: “That’s not my fault! I shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistake!”

    Me: “I apologize, sir. It is our fault, but we can’t just send you the microphone for free.”

    Caller: “I don’t want it for free! I want it at the price I was given!”

    Me: “To get it to that price, I would need to send it to you for free. I cannot do that.”

    Caller: “That’s not my fault. It’s not my problem. I shouldn’t have to eat that money. It’s your mistake! Now give me what I paid for, d*** it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you did not pay for those items. We will not send them to you. The order was canceled, so you did NOT pay for those.”

    Caller: “Well, in my mind, I did!”

    Wouldn’t Want To Be In Their Shoes

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I work for the post office at their retail support. We take calls from our retail stores. Outside of every store there are postboxes. They are locked with a special key that only post office employees have. It’s a Saturday afternoon.)

    Me: “Welcome to retail support. You are talking to [My Name]. What can I help you with?”

    Caller: “Hi. It is [Name] from [Retail Store]. There are two guys here and they have a question. You see, they were fighting outside and one of them got so angry that he took the other person’s shoes and put them in the postbox. So, they wonder what we can do?”

    Me: “Excuse me… Did you just say someone put another person’s shoes in the postbox?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I know. I can’t stop laughing. One of the guys’ dads is here and wonders if there is anything we can do?”

    Me: “Yeah. I can send someone out to your store to open the postbox for them. But, since the customer himself has put something in the box that shouldn’t be there, they will be charged. Else they will have to wait till next time the box will be emptied.”

    Caller: “Okay. Wait a second.”

    (The employee gives the information to the customer and comes back to me.)

    Caller: “They say they will wait until Monday for it to get opened. Thank you for your help. Bye!”

    Me: *feeling confused* “Bye…”

    Coworker: “Did I just hear what I thought I heard?”

    Me: “Yep…”

    Credited Childsplay

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I work for a service that answers phones for TV commercials. One commercial in particular is giving us all fits! It is for a cup that freezes sweet liquids into slush-ice. The kids have been calling in, in DROVES, trying to get one. The offer is to be paid with a credit card and you have to be 18 or over to get it. This caller sounds like a five year old.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling for [Cup Product]! How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah. I wanna [Cup Product] thing.”

    Me: “Ma’am, do you have a credit card?”

    Caller: “Yeah. It’s 123456789.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that is not a card number. How old are you?”

    Caller: “Uh… I’m a hundred.”

    Me: “Ma’am, please get your mommy to come to the phone. If you want a [Cup Product], you have to have an adult with a credit card.”

    Caller: *getting crafty* “Uh, well, I already ordered it an’ used my Mommy’s—uh, my card. So, you can send it. Okay?”

    Me: “Now look, honey… You need to have an ADULT come to the phone. Go get someone older.”

    Caller: “Okay.”

    (There is the sound of the receiver being put down, then instantly picked up again. I hear the same voice, now pitched much lower.)

    Caller: “Hello? This is my Daddy. Please send me the [Cup Product] thingy, please!”


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