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    The Movie Tale Is In The (Lack Of) Telling

    | Israel | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I am a temp for a large mobile services provider, in a call center dedicated to the provider’s loyalty program. Every summer they would give out free books, movie tickets, etc. on particular dates for all paying customers. The caller in this call was around 40 years old.)

    Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [Provider]‘s loyalty program. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “I want the free movie.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, Madam, but the free movie offer ended last week. We have a free book offer this week—”

    Caller: “No, I don’t want any books. I just want the free movie you promised.”

    Me: “Again, Madam, I’m sorry, but that offer is now over.”

    Caller: “But I didn’t know about it on time!”

    Me: “Well, Madam, that’s unfortunate, but you’re welcome to take advantage of the offers we still have—”

    Caller: “No. You will give me a free movie! Make an exception! Talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Madam, we cannot make an exception. The company signed a contract with [Cinema Chain] for a specific period. Now that the period is done, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

    Caller: “But you should have told me! No one told me so it’s your fault and I want the free movie!”

    Me: “Madam, we had ads on billboards in several major streets in your city—”

    Caller: “I don’t go out much.”

    Me: “We also had ads in every major newspaper—”

    Caller: “I don’t read any newspapers.”

    Me: “And several major radio stations—”

    Caller: “I don’t listen to the radio.”

    Me: “And there was a colourful ad in your monthly bill—”

    Caller: “I always disregard those.”

    Me: “And a whole ton of ads on our website and major news websites—”

    Caller: “I don’t use the Internet.”

    Me: “And every single client of [Provider] got a text message about it.”

    Caller: “Oh, those I never read.”

    Me: “Then how, Madam, did you expect us to inform you of this offer, if you disregard every single publicity method we use?”

    Caller: *reproachfully* “Well, I’d expect you to call me!”

    About To Have A Fire Sale

    | Clovis, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I work in a call center doing tech support for a well known fast food chain. A coworker is the one that actually took this call. They were complaining about a piece of equipment that functions as a surge protector and battery backup for the computers that run the store.)

    Caller: “My [piece of equipment] is smoking.”

    Coworker: “Sir, I need you to unplug everything from it and move everything away from it until it cools down.”

    Caller: “But that will bring down our store! I’ll do it later when we slow down or after closing.”

    Coworker: “Sir, you realize it could burst into flames and burn down your store, right?”

    Caller: “And? We are busy!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

    | Lewiston, ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Working at a telesales company, I sold credit cards to people who wanted them.)

    Me: “So, I need your total annual income. What is it?”

    Customer: “$1200.”

    Me: “That’s… $1200 annually?”

    Customer: “Yup!”

    Me: “And…. now I need to know how much you pay for rent or mortgage each month.”

    Customer: “$500 a month.”

    (We go through the rest of the call rather well. At the end of the application we can usually see if they are approved or not. In this case they were not approved, so this is the rest of the conversation.)

    Me: “I’m sorry but you weren’t approved.”

    Customer: “What?! Why?”

    Me: “Well… it’s probably because you pay more in rent or mortgage in three months than you make in a year.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t! I make $1200 each month!”

    Me: “Oh! So you meant that $1200 was MONTHLY and not ANNUALLY?”

    Customer: “What does annually mean?”

    Me: “It means yearly. How much you make a year.”

    (The customer hung up. They were too stupid to be trusted with a credit card anyway.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’, Part 2

    , | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (A customer calls in to a bank call center.)

    Customer: “I need to make a deposit.”

    Me: “I can certainly help you with that deposit. What do we need to deposit? Cash, check, money order?”

    Customer: “I need to deposit money.”

    Me: “What type of deposit? There are different ways to make a deposit depending on what you need to deposit.”

    Customer: “I need to deposit cash.”

    Me: “I can find you the closest ATM so you can make your cash deposit.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to go somewhere to make the deposit?”

    Me: “Yes, if you are depositing cash.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t I just deposit it over the phone?!”

    Me: No, I’m sorry. There is not a way to deposit cash over the phone.”

    Customer: “What kind of service is this?” *click*

    Related:
    Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’

    Getting Sick Of This Call

    | BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a call centre for a rental company. We are open quite late so keep in mind that it’s around midnight at this point.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling—”

    Caller: “I insist that you rush through the call as I can’t hold the phone for extended periods due to medical reasons!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. First I’ll need some information—”

    Caller: “No, no! That’s a waste of time! I insist that you refund me right away. And if you don’t I’m going to sue you and the company for my injuries because you’re taking too long!”

    (She also ‘had a seizure’ while on the call because my voice was too high pitched…)

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