An Un-fee-sibly Long Time
I work for a call center for a bank. One of our recent web ads says something along the lines of, “We won’t end the call until you’re satisfied,” and of course, you know this isn’t going to be abused by any of our customers ever…
I have just finished going through the security questions with a caller.
Caller: “You guys have charged me a fee, and I want it canceled.”
Me: “Can you please confirm the date and amount to which you’re referring?”
He does so.
Me: “Sir, that’s a fee for going overdrawn. You had a scheduled payment that came out of your account but didn’t have the fees to cover it. The bank covered it for you, but we do charge a fee when this happens.”
Caller: “Yes, I know all that. I’m not stupid. I said I wanted it canceled.”
Me: “Sir, I can see that your account has had an overdrawn fee canceled three times. I’m afraid I will not be able to cancel it on this occasion.”
Caller: “I am not satisfied.”
Me: “I am sorry to hear that, sir.”
Caller: “Didn’t you hear me? I said I am not satisfied.”
Me: “That is unfortunate.”
Caller: “I thought you said you couldn’t hang up unless I am satisfied!”
Me: “I can’t hang up until we have resolved all your queries, sir. Was there another query you had for the bank?”
Caller: “I want that fee canceled!”
Me: “I’m afraid I am unable to do that, sir.”
Caller: “Get me your manager!”
I happily pass him on to my manager. My manager asks me to stay on the line and listen in as I am currently undergoing management training, and part of that involves listening in to some manager-tier calls.
The manager introduces himself, and the caller reiterates his request.
Manager: “Sir, we can allow up to three credits on the account as a courtesy. We will not be able to do it for a fourth time.”
Caller: “I am not satisfied.”
Manager: “I am sorry to hear that, sir.”
Caller: “Doesn’t anyone there understand what I am saying?! I am not… satisfied!“
Manager: “That does nothing to change the fact that we cannot cancel the fee on your account.”
Caller: “Your ad said that you had to satisfy me!”
Manager: “It says we cannot hang up until you’re satisfied. If you like, I can go through the terms and conditions of the contract you signed when you created an account with us, which would explain why we cannot cancel the fee. I could explain it to your ‘satisfaction’.”
Caller: “I don’t want you to explain anything! I just want you to cancel the fee!”
Manager: “I’m afraid I cannot do that, sir.”
Caller: “Put me through to your manager! I am not satisfied!”
Manager: “I am the manager for this call center today, sir.”
Caller: “Then transfer me to whoever the top manager is!”
Manager: “She is attending a conference and is currently unavailable.”
Caller: “I am not satisfied!”
Manager: “I am sorry to hear that, sir.”
Caller: “You keep saying that!”
Manager: “I do.”
Caller: *Screams in frustration* “Look, I know y’all can’t hang up until I am satisfied. I will stay on this line and block your other callers until you cancel my fee!”
Manager: “Sir, the moment you were transferred to a manager, you were taken from the caller queue, and other callers have now taken that space. If you’d like to remain on the line, no one can stop you, but unless you have another query, we need to leave this call on idle until you’re satisfied with our answer or you end the call.”
Caller: “I’m not hanging up!”
Manager: “That’s fine, sir. I will leave this phone to the side in the office. I’ll come by to check on you in an hour to see if you have another query for us.”
The manager placed the physical phone on the desk and made sure the caller could hear his office door opening and closing. I was instructed to then take other calls as normal.
My manager went back to that phone exactly an hour later, and the caller was still there, still demanding the same thing. The manager explained the situation once again and left him on “hold” again for another hour.
This repeated twice more, and then the caller finally hung up between hours three and four.
Over a $2.95 fee.
