• Gloating About Gluten
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    Consuming People

    | Scotland, UK | Technology

    (I work in a call centre, taking printer consumable orders. Note, the technical support line is on the same phone number as me, so sometimes people come through to the wrong line.)

    Me: “[Company] consumables. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my printer is acting up. I need an engineer sent out.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, you’ve come through to the consumables line. You need to call again in order to get a hold of Tech Support.”

    Customer: “Even when I’m just ordering an engineer?”

    Me: “Yes. The engineer is not a consumable, so he cannot be ordered through here.”

    Customer: *huff* “Fine, then.”

    Goes Orange With Embarrassment

    | USA | Bizarre, Funny Names

    Me: “Thank you for calling member services, This is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”


    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “I’m sorry; I was thrown off by your name…  Your name is Carrot? ”

    Me: “Um…. No, ma’am, it’s [My Name].”

    Caller: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought your parents really named you Carrot! I thought maybe they were horrible hippie people!”

    No Re-Write Access

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Hi and welcome to [Company] online sales chat! My name is [My Name]. May I have your name?”

    Customer: “The password on my broadband router is rubbing off and getting hard to read.”

    Me: “You can re-write the password.”

    Customer: “How do I re-write?”

    Me: *face palm* “…Get a piece of paper, write the password on it, and tape it to your broadband router?”

    Their Stupidity Does Not Compute

    | BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer was having some issues logging into her account on our website.)

    Me: “First, click on the ‘sign in’ link.”

    Customer: “I don’t see it!”

    Me: “There’s a white ‘sign in’ button on the top right corner of our website.”

    Customer: “I’m looking, I don’t see it!” *getting very frustrated*

    Me: “It’s above our logo.”

    Customer: “I know. It’s not there. I don’t see it!”

    Me: “Are you on [OurWebsite].com?”

    Customer: “…No.”

    Me: “Are you at your computer right now?”

    Customer: “…No.”

    God Help Her If She’s Using A Raspberry Pie

    | IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I work for a company that deals with online registration for things like marathons, triathlons, little league, etc. Basically any sporting event. A lot of times people have trouble registering because of cookies on their browser.)

    Customer: *sounding close to hysterics* “It won’t work! It won’t let me register! I need to get registered for this 5k now!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me just see here. It sounds like the reason it won’t go through is because of cookies on your browser. Now, if you’ll go to the—”

    Customer: “I don’t have any cookies. I’m diabetic!”

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