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    About To Have A Fire Sale

    | Clovis, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I work in a call center doing tech support for a well known fast food chain. A coworker is the one that actually took this call. They were complaining about a piece of equipment that functions as a surge protector and battery backup for the computers that run the store.)

    Caller: “My [piece of equipment] is smoking.”

    Coworker: “Sir, I need you to unplug everything from it and move everything away from it until it cools down.”

    Caller: “But that will bring down our store! I’ll do it later when we slow down or after closing.”

    Coworker: “Sir, you realize it could burst into flames and burn down your store, right?”

    Caller: “And? We are busy!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

    | Lewiston, ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Working at a telesales company, I sold credit cards to people who wanted them.)

    Me: “So, I need your total annual income. What is it?”

    Customer: “$1200.”

    Me: “That’s… $1200 annually?”

    Customer: “Yup!”

    Me: “And…. now I need to know how much you pay for rent or mortgage each month.”

    Customer: “$500 a month.”

    (We go through the rest of the call rather well. At the end of the application we can usually see if they are approved or not. In this case they were not approved, so this is the rest of the conversation.)

    Me: “I’m sorry but you weren’t approved.”

    Customer: “What?! Why?”

    Me: “Well… it’s probably because you pay more in rent or mortgage in three months than you make in a year.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t! I make $1200 each month!”

    Me: “Oh! So you meant that $1200 was MONTHLY and not ANNUALLY?”

    Customer: “What does annually mean?”

    Me: “It means yearly. How much you make a year.”

    (The customer hung up. They were too stupid to be trusted with a credit card anyway.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’, Part 2

    , | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (A customer calls in to a bank call center.)

    Customer: “I need to make a deposit.”

    Me: “I can certainly help you with that deposit. What do we need to deposit? Cash, check, money order?”

    Customer: “I need to deposit money.”

    Me: “What type of deposit? There are different ways to make a deposit depending on what you need to deposit.”

    Customer: “I need to deposit cash.”

    Me: “I can find you the closest ATM so you can make your cash deposit.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to go somewhere to make the deposit?”

    Me: “Yes, if you are depositing cash.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t I just deposit it over the phone?!”

    Me: No, I’m sorry. There is not a way to deposit cash over the phone.”

    Customer: “What kind of service is this?” *click*

    Related:
    Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’

    Getting Sick Of This Call

    | BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a call centre for a rental company. We are open quite late so keep in mind that it’s around midnight at this point.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling—”

    Caller: “I insist that you rush through the call as I can’t hold the phone for extended periods due to medical reasons!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. First I’ll need some information—”

    Caller: “No, no! That’s a waste of time! I insist that you refund me right away. And if you don’t I’m going to sue you and the company for my injuries because you’re taking too long!”

    (She also ‘had a seizure’ while on the call because my voice was too high pitched…)

    Let The Cat Out Of The Bag

    | NC, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work for moving truck company. When your truck breaks down, you call me.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Truck Company] Emergency Road Service. My name is [My Name]. May I have your first and last name?”

    Customer: “LOOK HERE, B****! YOU DON’T NEED MY NAME! MY TRUCK IS ON FIRE AND I’VE GOT 8,000 PARAKEETS IN THE BACK OF IT!”

    Me: “I understand, sir. I suggest you hang up and call 911 and give them your location. If you’re on the highway they can usually find you by your nearest mile-marker or exit—”

    Customer: “YOU NEED TO SEND SOMEONE OUT HERE NOW! YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS F****** PIECE OF S***! I’M NOT GOING TO CALL ANYBODY!”

    Me: “Sir, your animals’ lives are in danger and yours might be, too. Please disconnect this call and phone the fire department.”

    Customer: “IT DON’T MATTER! THEY’RE ALL ALREADY DEAD AND I’M OUT OF THE D*** TRUCK! THEY WERE FOR STUFFING!”

    Me: “Sir, are you telling me that you have thousands of dead parakeets for taxidermy in the back of your truck and that you’re still not going to call the emergency line to get the fire department to come put our truck out? Sir, are you aware that our policy dictates that you may not have animals in our vehicles, dead or alive?”

    Customer: “I DON’T GIVE A F*** WHAT YOUR POLICY DICTATES! I WAS GOING TO MAKE THOUSANDS OFF THOSE BIRDS AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO PAY ME FOR THEM BECAUSE YOUR TRUCK BURST INTO FLAMES!”

    (I just hit the insurance line without a word, and went on break. My poor supervisor pinged me when I got back, laughing himself sick.)

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