November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

The Magic Words Magically Appearing

| Canada | Awesome Workers

(I’m the caller in this situation, having just been told by a collections agency that a mobile account from 2011 has an outstanding balance. After a day or two of getting bounced around I finally get this representative:)

Representative: “So what I’m seeing here is that you there was a system error that made us think you were still on contract when you cancelled the number, and we billed you a $300 dollar cancellation fee. This fee was invalid.”

Me: “Oh, so we’re clear?”

Representative: “Not quite, sir. In Canadian law, you have only 90 days to dispute charges or they will stick. I cannot change the account now. What do you think of that?”

Me: “Oh, so I’m stuck with the charges?”

Representative: “Let me restate, sir. I cannot change the account. What do you think of the situation?”

Me: *starting to catch on* “Well, it doesn’t seem all that fair to me, but the law is the law…”

Representative: “I sympathize, sir. And I cannot change the account. What might you ask?

Me: *eureka moment* “Well. I suppose I would need to talk to someone who could change the account.”

Representative: “For example, sir?”

Me: “Well, someone higher up, perhaps a supervisor of yours?”

Representative: “So you would like to escalate to a supervisor?”

Me: “Yes, I suppose I would.”

Representative: “Those are the magic words, sir. Just a moment.”

(Everything was taken care of within five minutes. Thank you for putting words in my mouth, representative bro.)

Anything Goes Except Everything

, | Vantaa, Finland | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(I work as a sales agent for an airline.)

Me: “[Airline], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “We’d like to go for a holiday somewhere.”

Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. What did you have in mind?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Something would be nice.”

Me: “Okay, would you prefer a city destination or rather a beach destination?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Anything goes.”

Me: “Okay, how long a trip you were thinking? A weekend trip or maybe a longer trip, a week perhaps?”

Customer: “Well, anything goes.”

Me: *getting a bit frustrated already, but still trying something to start with* “Okay, do you have in mind when you’d like go for the trip?”

Customer: “Not really. Anything goes.”

Me: *frustrated, but still very polite* “Okay, how about you go for a nice weekend to Stockholm next weekend?”

Customer: “Well, actually we had a bit longer trip in mind and to some bit warmer destination. With a beach. And it has to be in September because that’s when we have our vacation.”

Kill Bill

| USA | Crazy Requests

Customer: “Why the h*** is my cable cut off?”

Me: *after checking her account* “Ma’am, upon checking your account, we haven’t received a payment for three months now.”

(We aren’t allowed to tell them they haven’t paid because it is considered rude and accusatory.)


Me: “Ma’am, we told you by means of your bill. Haven’t you been receiving your bill?”

Customer: *takes a moment before she answers* “Uhm. No. I haven’t.”

Me: “In the case that you haven’t received your bill in three months, you should have called us to tell us. You have been using your service for the three whole months and you didn’t remember that you haven’t received bill in three months?”

Customer: “It is your f****** job to call and inform me to pay the bill!”

Me: *trying to remain calm* “No, ma’am. We remind you about a payment due by means of your bill. It is your duty as a customer to pay for the service you are using. We have almost a million subscribers and it will be impossible to call all of you just to remind you about a payment due.”

Customer: “I’M CHANGING PROVIDERS!” *click*

Unplugged From Reality

| DE, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “My TV isn’t working.”

(After verifying the caller and running through some basic stuff:)

Me: “I’m sorry for the trouble. The cable box doesn’t seem to be responding. I will need you to unplug it.”

Caller: “How do I do that?”

Me: “Just pull the cord from the wall.”

Caller: *getting irritated* “SIR! I’M NOT AN ELECTRICIAN!”

The Final Word On Passwords, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | Technology

(I work at a call center helpdesk. As with most call centers, the bulk of calls we receive are for password resets. The following was between a coworker and one of our callers:)

Coworker: “I can reset the password back to the password you had before. That way we can keep it the same and you won’t have to rem—”

Caller: “NO. I don’t want that. I have a billion passwords already; I don’t want to be remembering another. Let’s just change it to something different.”

The Final Word On Passwords