O, Canaduh, Part 5

| Manchester, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Geography

Me: “Good Afternoon, you’re speaking to [My Name]. Can I take your reference number, please?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m calling from Toronto.”

Me: “Okay, how can I help?”

Customer: “Well, I’ve seen [alarm product that we don’t stock] being advertised and I want to know if you could sell me one?”

Me: “I can look into it for you. Are you looking to install this into a property in the UK?”

Customer: “No, of course not! I told you I’m in Toronto. Why ever would you think that?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you have called a company based in the UK, so the systems we sell are set to UK settings.”

Customer: “Well, I know that.”

Me: “So, then you’d be aware that even if we did sell you a system, it wouldn’t work in your property?”

Customer: “Of course it would! We’re a part of the British Commonwealth!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it definitely wouldn’t work, as it needs connection to a power outlet, and the outlets in Canada are different to the ones here in Britain. Also, even if we were to look into selling you a system, regulations state we need to get a trained engineer to install it for you, and none of our engineers would be able travel to Canada from the UK to install it.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do?”

Me: “I’d recommend contacting a supplier in Toronto.”

Customer: “You’ve just lost thousands of dollars!” *slams phone down*

Related:
O, Canaduh, Part 4
O, Canaduh, Part 3
O, Canaduh, Part 2

Not Ready For The Digit-al Age

| UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Our customer references are eight digits long, which we need to find the customers on our system.)

Customer: “My reference is-” *gives six digits*

(I wait a couple of seconds.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I think the line may have cut out as that reference is a bit too short.”

Customer: “Do you really need me to read out the whole thing?”

Consuming People

| Scotland, UK | Technology

(I work in a call centre, taking printer consumable orders. Note, the technical support line is on the same phone number as me, so sometimes people come through to the wrong line.)

Me: “[Company] consumables. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, my printer is acting up. I need an engineer sent out.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you’ve come through to the consumables line. You need to call again in order to get a hold of Tech Support.”

Customer: “Even when I’m just ordering an engineer?”

Me: “Yes. The engineer is not a consumable, so he cannot be ordered through here.”

Customer: *huff* “Fine, then.”

Goes Orange With Embarrassment

| USA | Bizarre, Funny Names

Me: “Thank you for calling member services, This is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

(Silence.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “I’m sorry; I was thrown off by your name…  Your name is Carrot? ”

Me: “Um…. No, ma’am, it’s [My Name].”

Caller: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought your parents really named you Carrot! I thought maybe they were horrible hippie people!”

No Re-Write Access

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Hi and welcome to [Company] online sales chat! My name is [My Name]. May I have your name?”

Customer: “The password on my broadband router is rubbing off and getting hard to read.”

Me: “You can re-write the password.”

Customer: “How do I re-write?”

Me: *face palm* “…Get a piece of paper, write the password on it, and tape it to your broadband router?”

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