November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Wild And Unruly

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a company that owns a whale watching business. Whale watching season is generally between May and November every year, when the whales pass the Sydney coastline going up to Queensland to give birth and then when they go back down to Antarctica. Sometimes (very rarely) one or two whales decide to make a pit-stop in Sydney Harbour before continuing on their way.)

Me: *phone rings* “Good afternoon, [Company].”

Customer: “What time do the whales come into the Harbour?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “What time do the whales come into the Harbour?”

Me: “I do apologise but I can’t tell you what time the whales will be in the Harbour. However, if you would like to join one of our whale watching cruises—”

Customer: “What do you mean you can’t tell me what time they’ll be in the Harbour? There was one in there yesterday!”

Me: “Yes, I know. It was very exciting. However, that whale has moved on now and I can’t guarantee when the next one will come into the Harbour.”

Customer: “Aren’t you a whale watching company?”

Me: “Yes, we operate three kinds of tours—”

Customer: “So why can’t you tell me what time the whales will be in the f***ing Harbour?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but whales are wild animals and we can’t control—”

Customer: “What do you mean they’re ‘wild animals’?!”

Me: “…They live in the wild. They are wild animals. We are an Eco-tour that watches whales in their natural habitat… in the wild…”

Customer: “This is bull-s***. I knew we should have gone to Sea World!” *click*

The Mother Knows Her Call Of Duty

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology

(I am working at a customer support center for a popular online video game.)

Me: “Hello, support.”

Caller: “Hi, my son can’t get into his account.”

(I verify her information and pull up the account.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems you son’s account was suspended because he violated community guidelines.”

Caller: “What does that mean?”

(I get the report open and my jaw drops. He was reported for harassment. Gamers are infamous trash-mouths, but this one of the disgusting guys who harassed our female players. And I have his mother on the line.)

Me: “It looks like your son was reported for harassing another player. Do you know if he was using his account last Saturday?”

Caller: “Oh, yes, that was him. What did he do? Did he swear?”

Me: “Among other things. Do you have an email address that I can send a copy of our suspension notice and transcript of the event in question?”

(She gives me her email and keeps talking while I type and send.)

Caller:  “I don’t see how you can ban him for a little swearing? I read the rating; don’t the characters swear? What did he say that was so bad?”

Me: “I am not comfortable repeating it. Did you get the email?”

Caller: “Yes, I—”

(She goes very quiet.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: *she talks in that deadly, angry-mother tone*“Thank you for informing me of this. Unfortunately I will need to cancel his account.”

Me: “I will go ahead and do that for you. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Caller: “No, thank you. I have to go talk to my son now.”

(I didn’t stop grinning all day long, knowing at least one online harasser met justice.)

How To Get Non-Existent Panties In A Twist

, | FL, USA | Rude & Risque

(I’m a FTM transgender, but have not begun transition, so although I’m frequently called “sir” in person based on my looks, my voice is a dead giveaway – especially at a call center job.)

Me: “Hello, I’m calling on behalf of [Company] regarding the power bill. May I speak with [Name]?”

Man: “Are you wearing any paaaaantieees?”

Me: “…Excuse me, sir?”

Man: “I like women who don’t wear paaaaaantieeees!”

Me: “Sir, I’m a man, and I’m calling to save you money on your power bill.”

Man: “No, you’re not! You’re a WOMAN and I like women who don’t wear PAAAAANTIEEEEES!”

Me: “So you’ve said, sir, but I’m a transgender man. Would you like to save money on your power bill or not?”

(At this apparently horrific revelation, the customer hangs up on ME, and I pause the dialer to do a victory dance at my desk.)

Some Callers You Just Can’t Hold On To

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I work for a well-known tech company, and take calls for its many products. The company also offers email to its customers, but this is not something we’re trained to help with. The following happened with a coworker and our supervisor.)

Customer: “I logged into my email on the library computer, and it WON’T LET ME REMOVE MY ACCOUNT. Let me talk to a supervisor!”

Agent: “Okay, well, I’d be happy to help with that. I support [Other Product], but removing your account from the computer should be easy enough.”

Customer: “NO. I want a supervisor. Transfer me NOW. And no hold music. I hate your hold music. No putting me on hold. I need to logout of this computer before someone steals my personal information.”

Agent: “I do want to let you know that if I transfer to my supervisor, it will put you on a hold. I’ll do it as quickly as possible, and at most, you’ll get a few seconds. He’s right there and ready for the call.”

Customer: “NO! No hold!”

(By this time, the supervisor has been informed by my coworker what’s going on, and is trying to get her to transfer it over.)

Supervisor: *walks over to my coworker and mutes the call so the customer can’t hear* “He won’t transfer?”

Agent: “Nope. He refuses to listen to hold music.”

Supervisor: *leans over and types his extension into the phone and runs back to answer the call at his desk, while my coworker and I stare at each other with bewildered looks* “Hi, I hear you’re unable to logout of your account on the public computer?”

(The call goes on, and he gets up and comes over to us a few minutes later.)

Me: “So, what happened?”

Supervisor: “The guy was talking to me IN the library, yelling and raging as someone shushed him in the background. I just heard him getting kicked out of the library, and fighting with the librarian about needing to finish his call. Then he hung up.”

Me: “All this because he doesn’t know how to clear his browser history. Classy guy.”

Doesn’t Approve Of Your Approval

| ID, USA | Bizarre

(I work support for a game company that has an online store for digital games. While all sales are considered final, we make exceptions in some special circumstances. These exceptions are handled directly by us.)

Me: “While all sales are final, I will approve your refund. It might take a few days for processing. Do you have any questions?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you think my refund will be approved?”

Me: “Yes, I’ve just approved it. It will just take a couple days to finalize.”

Customer: “I know, but do you think it will be approved?”

Me: “It already has.”

Customer: “Will you make sure to tell whoever approves these knows my situation?”

Me: “Sir, it’s been approved already.”

Customer: “Well, all right. I won’t expect any guarantees, but I’m glad to know you think I’ll get a refund!” *click*