I have been working in my position as a support agent for my company’s Canadian customer for about a month. The company I represent released their first Smart TVs in Canada around 2010, and said TVs did not have a built-in web browser. They were “smart” in the sense that they had a pre-selected number of built-in applications, like Netflix. It is now 2016.

Customer: “How do I get online on my [TV model]?”

Me: “I can definitely help walk you through the Internet setup on your TV; do you use a wired or a wireless connection?”

Customer: “No, I already did the setup, but I can’t figure out how to get online.”

Me: “Oh, okay, I understand. I’m sorry for the confusion. Let’s go ahead and have you try launching one of the apps. Can you go ahead and hit the Netflix button on your remote?”

Customer: “Netflix works fine, and so do the apps. But how do I get online?”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand. If the apps are working, then your TV is online.”

Customer: “No, I want to get on Google.”

Me: *Understanding* “Oh! I follow. I’m sorry, but this model TV doesn’t actually have a web browser. You can’t go to individual websites like you can on a computer; the built-in apps are the TV’s smart functions.”

Customer: “What? That’s stupid. I thought this was a smart TV! I can’t even get online?”

Me: “You are online, though, if you are using the TV’s built-in applications. The only difference is that the TV is unable to navigate the actual web to visit individual sites. If that’s what you want to do, I’d recommend connecting a computer to the TV through the HDMI or PC inputs and using the TV like a giant monitor.”

Customer: “I don’t want to do that. I want the TV to do it.”

Me: “I understand that that’s what you want; unfortunately, that’s not a function of this model TV.”

Customer: “I feel like you should upgrade me to a new TV, then, because I bought this TV under the impression it went online.”

Me: “It… does go online, via the apps. Also, we wouldn’t be able to replace your TV, as the TV is working as intended.”

Customer: “But I have a warranty.”

Me: “Yes, which covers manufacturer defects, which this is not. If I may ask, when did you buy this TV?”

Customer: “Oh, a few years ago. So it’s still in warranty.”

Me: “Ah, I see. The warranty on the TV is for one year from the date of purchase, and again, it covers manufacturing defects. This would not be a warranty issue.”

Customer: “Well, the salesman where we bought it said it went online and could go to websites.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the salesperson, but it sounds like they were mistaken or misled you.”

Customer: “What? Why would they lie?”

Me: “Why… would a salesperson who likely works on commission lie?”

Probably not the best response, I admit, but I was really unsure how the customer didn’t see THAT as a good reason.

Customer: “Yeah! You guys need to replace your TV. There has to be some kind of exception for cases like this.”

Me: “There really isn’t. The TV works as intended, you’ve owned it for a few years by your own acknowledgment, and it sounds like this is an issue better taken up with the place you bought it from. Otherwise, the best way to get the TV to show websites is to hook up another device to it that does have a web browser.”

Customer: “I already told you that I don’t want to do that. I want an exception!”

Me: “I understand that; however, there are no exceptions to be had here.”

Customer: “Don’t you know we have a little thing called consumer protection laws here in Canada?”

Me: “It’s my understanding that the law applies in Quebec, to items bought in Quebec, and only guarantees the product will work for its intended purpose for a reasonable amount of time. From the information you’ve given me, you are not in Quebec; you are in Alberta.”

Customer: “Let me talk to your manager.”

I put the customer on hold and had my boss speak to them, and he reiterated exactly what I had told them already. They escalated past him, to HIS boss, and then past HER to our highest point of contact. The end result? The last notes on the file were that our highest contact point had reiterated exactly what all the previous people had told them and suggested they contact the store they bought it from.

What killed me was the last line in the notes. “Customer agrees this is a reasonable course.” All that time wasted…

I work at a call center for opinion polling. The survey today lasted about five to ten minutes, depending how fast we ask and the pollee answers.

Me: “I’m calling for a small survey; it shouldn‘t take longer than ten minutes.”

Pollee: “Okay, that‘s fine. I‘m glad to help.”

The first few questions are about politics and the pollee answers very excessively. I only ask about seven questions and it takes nearly nine minutes. Even in this time, he asks about the remaining time several times and I tell him to stick to my answers for a faster end.

Pollee: “So now we are at ten minutes, so we’re finished, right?”

Me: “No, sir. I’m afraid we’re not nearly halfway through.”

Pollee: “But you said it’s not more than ten minutes!”

Me: “Yes, but only if you answer my questions directly. Your answers are pretty long, so we will need longer for the survey.”

Pollee: “But you said it’s only ten minutes! I’m not doing that survey if it lasts longer than the promised ten minutes!”

Me: “Sir, please calm down. I said it’s ten minutes, but not if you tell a story to answer every question. If you stick to my answers, we can end this in no more than five more minutes.”

Pollee: “Five more? I already lost ten minutes to you! I’m not gonna do this. I’m ending this now!” 

I heard him putting the phone down, but it was not completely hung up. He screamed to his wife about me, asking how I dared to lie to him. I hung up my phone and continued my work.

Information as to where payphones are by their telephone numbers has been removed from the telephone company operator’s access for security reasons. For example: a person may call an estranged spouse or significant other from a payphone, so their location remains unknown. Otherwise, the person receiving the call may actually try to track someone down if they learn the location, and the end result could be tragic.

Caller: “I want the location of this payphone. The telephone number is [number].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that information is not available to telephone operators.”

Caller: “Hold on there. I need the information.”

The caller starts into a long-winded explanation as to why he needs the information.

Me: *Trying to interject* “Excuse me, sir—”

Caller: “LET ME FINISH!”

Me: “Okay.”

The caller continues with a convoluted story lasting over five minutes.

Me: “We still don’t have access to that information.”

Caller: “WELL, THEN, F*** YOU, A**HOLE!” *Click*

I work in a call centre for an energy supplier.

Customer: “I don’t understand why I have a debt. I pay my monthly direct debit. I don’t see why I should pay more.”

Me: “Well, yes, sir, you do pay by direct debit, but you’ve only been paying [amount] and you’ve been using [higher amount], so your payments are not covering your usage. That’s why we will need to up your payments, both to cover your actual usage and to gradually pay back the debt.”

Customer: “I use [amount] and that’s what I pay. I’ve never had a debt.”

Me: “Sir, do you have your statement in front of you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Can you read to me the first line?”

Customer: “Your balance on the last statement was [amount].”

Me: “You see, sir?”

Customer: “But that’s credit.”

Me: “No, sir, that’s debt. If it were credit, there would be the letters C and R after the number. If you look further down, it’ll show those letters near the amounts where we recognise we have received payments from you.”

Customer: “Look here. I have never had a debt. I resent the fact you claim I have debt. I made my payments and I can prove it!”

Me: “Sir, the issue is not whether you made payments—”

Customer: “Then what is wrong with my bill?”

Me: “Nothing, sir. The bill is correct; you just haven’t been paying enough.”

Customer: “How dare you?! Are you calling me cheap?!”

Me: “That is not what I said, and I’d appreciate it if you did not put words in my mouth.”

Customer: “Well, if you’re just making things up and trying to squeeze money out of innocent people, then why shouldn’t I?”

Me: “Sir, you provided us with a meter reading of [number] for [date], correct?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right, but my bill is wrong; you’ve added extra charges!”

Me: “All we have done is bill you up to those reads. It is what you’ve used.”

Customer: “Then what are these standing charges, hmm?”

Me: “That is what we charge you per day for supplying your meters.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t. You’re trying to rip me off! My friends say I don’t have to pay standing charges.”

Me: “I’m afraid your friends are mistaken.”

Customer: “Other suppliers don’t charge standing charges!”

Me: “All suppliers charge a standing charge, sir. If you got a quote from another supplier, they would give you the price for it.”

Customer: “Well, maybe that’s what I’ll do. You money-grubbing liars aren’t getting any more money from me!”

Me: “If that’s what you feel is best, sir, you are within your rights to do so, but the bill is still valid and we do expect payment.”

Customer: “You close my account right now! I’m not having you be my supplier another minute.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I can’t do that. That’s not how energy suppliers work.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Sir, what you’re asking is for us to close the account, which is not something we do, as that means you would have no gas or electric because we would have to disconnect you, which we won’t do as that prevents you from switching to another supplier. It’s also illegal for us to do that.”

Customer: “So what am I supposed to do?”

Me: “You can agree to a contract with another supplier and they start the process to take the supply, a process which takes two to three weeks.”

Customer: “You can’t trap me!”

Me: “I’m not saying that, sir. You just need to agree to a contract with another supplier if you want to leave us.”

Customer: “But you said that can take three weeks!”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. Switch it from today!”

Me: “Sir, I have no power to do that. No one does.”

Customer: “Get a manager, then. You’re useless!”

Me: “A manager will tell you exactly the same thing.”

Customer: “Ah, for f***’s sake! Just get the f****** manager!”

Me: “Sir, if you swear one more time, I will hang up this phone and you can wait in that call queue for another half an hour to speak with someone else. You get one warning.”

Customer: “What?! I wasn’t swearing at you! I was swearing about the situation!”

Me: “Nevertheless, I haven’t sworn or raised my voice to you during our entire call, and I would appreciate the same courtesy.”

Customer: “What, you never heard someone swear before? You’re a grown woman! You’re just gonna have to deal with it!“

Me: “Actually, I don’t.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I wasn’t lying. If you cannot be civil, I will disconnect this call. Now, if you can do that, I will log a complaint for you and get a manager.”

Customer: “Fine, but I’ll be mentioning your attitude. Never has someone been so rude to me.”

Our complaint procedure requires us to write them in the customer’s own words, and I follow this to the letter. When we reach the manager, I then have to give my view of events, all with the customer listening in. When I am about to finish explaining what I’ve told the customer and what he has said to me, the customer interrupts.

Customer: “Hang on, you’re making it out like it’s my fault!”

Manager: “Are you saying events did not happen this way?”

Customer: “She’s twisting it! I’ve done nothing wrong!”

Manager: “Sir, let me look at this and see if we can come to an understanding.”

I then listen as the manager apologises for any perceived rudeness and sticks by my decision to end the call if he becomes abusive. He then goes through the bills with the customer point by point, explaining how he’s using too much for his current payments, and no, we can’t switch him to someone else in twenty-four hours.

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I remember when it was simple and you could switch anytime. Now it’s all tariffs, standing charges, and contracts, and you have to wait weeks for something that should just be simple like pushing a button!”

Manager: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but the process is not that simple.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to go through this, anyway. I made my payments; you made a mistake. I’m not stupid!”

Manager: “No one said you were, sir.”

Customer: “You don’t have to. I hear it in your voice, and you’re patronising me by going through every little thing, like I’m thick, like I don’t understand the statements.”

Manager: “That was not my intention at all.”

Customer: “You’re liars and thieves.”

Manager: “Sir, I’ve explained everything to you. The debt is valid. We cannot do what you are asking.”

Customer: “Then f*** you! Liars!”

Manager: “Sir, we have already warned—”

Customer: “F*** you!”

Manager: “—you about the swearing.”

Customer: “F*** you, f*** you, f*** you!”

Manager: “Goodbye, Mr. [Customer].”

Customer: “F*** you! Wait, what?”

Manager: *Click*

I work as a call handler, and part of my job involves giving remote access to sheltered housing buildings.

Me: “Hello, [Shelter] house.”

Caller: “Hello, I got in a fight with my boyfriend and he broke my prosthetic leg, and I sat on your steps and someone threw a bucket of water over me from the second floor.”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. Are you a resident?”

Caller: “No, but I’m waiting for my friend to come with duct tape to fix my leg because the tape is wet so I can’t use it.”

Me: “Right… Well, I can’t let you in because you’re not a resident and I’m not in the building.”

Caller: “You’re not going to help me?” *Starts repeating her story*

Me: “There’s not anything I can do except advise you to call the police to report that someone has thrown water over you.”

I close the call down. Less than a minute later, she comes through again and retells the whole story.

Me: “Yes, I understand, but I’m not in the building and I don’t know who threw the water. There’s nothing I can do, unfortunately, so I suggest you call the police on 101 to report it.”

Caller: “You don’t care that I’m soaking wet and my leg is in pieces? That’s not very nice.”

Me: “It’s not that I don’t care, but my job is answering the door and giving access to carers. I don’t work in the building so I can’t find out who threw the water.”

Caller: “Can you just come to the door and I’ll point to the window it came from?”

Me: “No, I can’t. I do not work in the building, and I’m not familiar with the layout of it as I’ve never been to it. You need to report it to the police.”

She starts describing where she thinks the water came from.

Me: “If you phone the police and report it to them, they’ll be able to look into it. I can’t because I’m not there.”

Caller: “But I’m standing here with my prosthetic leg in pieces because some old woman threw a bucket of water over me! You need to help me!”

Me: “I’m closing this down as I have other calls to answer.”

Caller: “F****** b****, not helping me!” *Click*

Thirty seconds later, she comes through again, and the rant starts all over again.

Me: *Interrupting* “Unfortunately, that’s not the correct password, so I’m going to have to close this call down.”

Thirty seconds after that, my colleague answered a call and repeated what I’d been telling her, and she accepted it straight off!