Wictor Wictoria

| Philippines | Uncategorized

(I used to work for a call center that handled an American credit card account. My coworker relayed the following transaction to me.)

Customer Service Rep: “Okay, I have your account here; could you verify your full name please?”

Customer: *garbled name*

CSR: “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t quite catch that… could you spell it for me please?”

Customer: “T…O…Wee…”

CSR: “Sorry, was that P?”

Customer: “No, Wee.”

CSR: “E? As in Eagle?”

Customer: “NO! Wee! Wee!”

CSR: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand…”

Customer: “Wee! As in Wictor! As in WICTORY!”

I’ll Take Some Chocolate And My Baby’s Daddy, Please…

, | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Uncategorized

(I happened to be on call-quality monitoring when one of my coworkers got this call.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling **** Gifts, my name is ****. How can I help you?”

Caller: *with a thick accent* “Do you have anyone there that speaks Spanish?”

Coworker: “No, I’m afraid we do not. Is there anything I can do for you, ma’am?”

Caller: “Where is my check?”

Coworker: “…your check?”

Caller: “Yes, where is my check?”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t think I follow–”

Caller: “Where is my child support check?”

Coworker: “Ma’am, we sell candies and cookies. We don’t have your check.”

Caller: “WHY NOT?!”

Coworker: “…Because we’re a gift-ordering service. We don’t handle child support checks.”

Caller: “Well, can you give me the number to the child support check people?”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t know what that number is. We aren’t connected with them in any way.”

Caller: “WHY NOT?!”

Coworker: “…”

It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4

, | Louisville, KY, USA | Uncategorized

(I was helping a customer sign into their email.)

Me: “Okay, I need you to type ‘A’ as in ‘Apple’.”

Customer: “Now, don’t get all technical on me!”

Related:
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

Up and Running

, | Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at an incoming call center for a well known adult website. Most of our calls deal with technical problems or issues with logging-in to the sites. Most of them, anyway….)

Caller: “Good afternoon, sir. I’m having some issues here.”

Me: “That’s what we’re here for! What can I do to help?”

Caller: “Well, I’m sitting here looking at all these beautiful women and, well, I just can’t seem to get an erection.”

Me: “Sir…that is NOT something that I can help you with!”

Heaven Sent Deliveries, Moses Speaking

| Ohio, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: ¬†”My furniture is scheduled for delivery today and I have a big problem: it’s going to snow!”

Me: “Okay, we can reschedule you for–”

Caller: “No, I need it delivered today!”

Me: “What would you like me to do?”

Caller: “I want you to make it not snow!”

Me: “… Excuse me?”

Caller: “I want you to make it not snow during my delivery!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t control the weather.”

Caller: “WHY NOT?!”

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