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    1-800-DUHHHHH

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA |

    Me: “Operator…”

    Customer: “I need to call long distance to New York.”

    Me: “Okay ma’am, you need to hang up and dial ’00′ for the long distance operator.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a ’00′ button on my phone. I only have a ’0′!”

    Customer Of The Week: Electric Lime

    , | Beverly, MA, USA | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week: Electric Lime
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story:
    One Track Minds And Earwax Don’t Mix

    Cottonballs Are In The Left Drawer

    | Portland, OR, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling **** refill center. May I verify the last four digits of your mobile phone number?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (I hear four loud beeps as the customer pressing the buttons on his phone.)

    Me: “Sir, can you please TELL me the last four digits of your mobile phone number?”

    Customer: Oh, sure…”

    (Four loud beeps again.)

    Me: “Sir, I need you to say to me the last four digits of your mobile number.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay…” *reads numbers*

    Me: “Thank you. And may I verify your zip code, please?”

    Customer: “Sure.”

    (Another five beeps come from the phone.)

    Me: *whimpers*

    Sometimes, You Just Can’t Win, Part 2

    | American Fork, UT, USA |

    Me: “Hi, this is Alyssa, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, yeah, someone from your company called me and they were being all friendly to me over the phone.”

    Me: “… Oh? Were they rude to you in anyway?”

    Caller: “No… it’s just… they were being all nice… and I don’t like it when people pretend to be my friend, like they know me!”

    Me: “All right, but I don’t understand what the problem is with that.”

    Caller: “…”

    Me: “You know what, I’ll just go ahead and take you off our calling list, okay? You have a great day.”

    Related:
    Sometimes, You Just Can’t Win

    And The Problem Solves Itself

    | Louisville, KY, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling. May I please verify your address and phone number?”

    (The caller rattles off an address, including the apartment number.)

    Caller: “… that’s why I’m calling. What’s this about a ‘dog’ in my address?”

    (I notice her address has the words “DASIN DOG”.)

    Me: ¬†”I’m sorry, ma’am. I have no explanation for that. I can certainly remove it.¬†Also, we don’t seem to have your apartment number. Would you mind repeating that for me?”

    Caller: “D!¬†D as in Dog!”

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