Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (3,095 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    A Bit Nutty

    | Scotland |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****. What is the problem with your telephone line?”

    Customer: “The squirrels.”

    Me: “The–what? Sorry?”

    Customer: “Those damn squirrels are watching me.”

    Me: “Uh…do you have a problem with your telephone line?”

    Customer: “Yes, the squirrels have nested on it, and they watch me while I’m sleeping…”

    Me: “I’m sure they’re not.”

    Customer: “You calling me a liar?”

    I Always Travel By Rocket

    | Flagstaff, AZ, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “How far are you from Las Vegas?”

    Me: “233 miles.”

    Caller: “So that’s about what, an hour, hour and a half?”

    Me: “Only if you drive about 230 miles an hour.”

    I Hear Santa Has The Same Issue

    | Arizona, USA |

    (I work in a call center where we take reservations for a Christmas event.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “My wife has a severe phobia of midgets. Will the elves be actual little people?”

    Me: “The people dressed as elves are normal sized, but I can’t guarantee any of the patrons won’t be midgets.”

    Wictor Wictoria

    | Philippines |

    (I used to work for a call center that handled an American credit card account. My coworker relayed the following transaction to me.)

    Customer Service Rep: “Okay, I have your account here; could you verify your full name please?”

    Customer: *garbled name*

    CSR: “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t quite catch that… could you spell it for me please?”

    Customer: “T…O…Wee…”

    CSR: “Sorry, was that P?”

    Customer: “No, Wee.”

    CSR: “E? As in Eagle?”

    Customer: “NO! Wee! Wee!”

    CSR: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand…”

    Customer: “Wee! As in Wictor! As in WICTORY!”

    I’ll Take Some Chocolate And My Baby’s Daddy, Please…

    , | Salt Lake City, UT, USA |

    (I happened to be on call-quality monitoring when one of my coworkers got this call.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling **** Gifts, my name is ****. How can I help you?”

    Caller: *with a thick accent* “Do you have anyone there that speaks Spanish?”

    Coworker: “No, I’m afraid we do not. Is there anything I can do for you, ma’am?”

    Caller: “Where is my check?”

    Coworker: “…your check?”

    Caller: “Yes, where is my check?”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t think I follow–”

    Caller: “Where is my child support check?”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, we sell candies and cookies. We don’t have your check.”

    Caller: “WHY NOT?!”

    Coworker: “…Because we’re a gift-ordering service. We don’t handle child support checks.”

    Caller: “Well, can you give me the number to the child support check people?”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t know what that number is. We aren’t connected with them in any way.”

    Caller: “WHY NOT?!”

    Coworker: “…”

    Page 123/139First...121122123124125...Last