November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Get A (Second) Life

| Waterford, Ireland | Uncategorized

Customer: “How long will the internet house move take?”

Me: “7-10 working days.”

Customer: “Are you serious? What about my Farmville?”

Me: “Sorry, but that’s how long it takes.”

Customer: “But my crops will wither and die!”

Picture Imperfect

| United Kingdom | Uncategorized

(I am speaking to a woman who is wanting to specify a ring valued at £4,000.)

Me: “Okay, so just to let you know that because the item is valued at over £1,500, you will need to provide proof of its value if you do have to make a claim on it.”

Customer: “So a receipt would be okay?”

Me: “That’ll be fine, but for peace of mind a lot of people take pictures of their more expensive items in case they do need to claim on them because of loss or theft.”

Customer: *long pause* “Um… how am I supposed to take a picture of it if I have lost it?”

Me: “You…you take a picture of it before you lose it.”

Customer: “Oh! That makes more sense now. I thought you were saying I’d have to find it again so I can take a picture to claim for it.”

Byte-Size Counts

| Zagreb, Croatia | Uncategorized

Customer: “So, I have two hosting packages from you?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are these packages 500 megabytes each?”

Me: “That’s right!”

Customer: “So, that’s like 1,000 megabytes?”

Me: “Yes, they are.”

Customer: “Is that like a gigabyte?”

Me: “Well, yeah, I guess. Almost.”

*short silence*

Customer: “D***, am I big!”

Wild Accusations

| Asheville, NC, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I keep seeing a charge for $9.99 on my account. Why do you people keep charging me $9.99?”

Me: “Sir, that charge is coming not from us, but from GGW.”

Customer: “What the h*** is GGW? People are stealing my money and you do nothing! So what the h*** is GGW?”

(I have seen the charge for GGW before. I usually just use the abbreviation to spare the customer.))

Me: “Sir, GGW stands for Girls Gone–”

Customer: “Oh yeah. Never mind I remember now…uh…bye.” *click*

Ghost Ship

| USA | Uncategorized

(Sadly, my the sailing instructor died 4 days ago.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling about the sailing lessons.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but I can’t help you with that.”

Caller: “Oh, please, I really want sailing lessons, I saw them on the website with [sailing instructor] and I want to learn how to sail!”

Me: “I’m sorry but [sailing instructor] just died.”

Caller: “Oh, so he won’t be doing any more sailing lessons, then?”