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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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    Not Open To Interpretation

    | OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

    (I work in a call center. We have a dedicated line for Spanish-speaking customers, but for anyone speaking anything else, we would use an interpreter service. I am on a call between the interpreter and the customer.)

    Me: “Can you tell him that, since his phone has water damage, his warranty doesn’t cover it?”

    (The interpreter translates this, and the customer shouts angrily for a few seconds.)

    Coworker: “What did he say?”

    Interpreter: “I don’t want to tell you.”

    Coworker: “Oh, come on, now I really want to know.”

    Interpreter: “Ok, well…”

    (The interpreter repeats back a profanity laced diatribe about me, my family, the phone and the company.)

    Coworker: “…wow, he said all that in that one little sentence?”

    No Vocation For Location, Part 7

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Geography, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Thank you for calling [airline]; this is [my name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I want to book a flight from here to Los Angeles.”

    Me: “Okay, what city are you departing from?”

    Caller: “I want to go to Los Angeles.”

    Me: “From where?”

    Caller: “From here.”

    Me: “What city are you in?”

    Caller: “The same as you.”

    Me: “I’m in Baltimore, Maryland. Is that where you are?”

    Caller: “No. Can’t you tell from my phone number?”

    Me: “We have no way of knowing where you’re calling from. If you tell me what city you’d like to depart from, I can look up the flights for you.”

    Caller: “Well if you don’t know where I am, what good are you?” *click*

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 6
    No Vocation For Location, Part 5
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    Waiting For That Light Bulb Moment That Never Comes

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a call center making camping reservations for several state parks.)

    Me: “Okay, are you looking for an electric or a non-electric site?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, one site has electricity for you to hook an RV or a camper up to, and the non-electric has no hookups.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “An electric site has electricity. A non-electric site does not.”

    Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

    Me: “Um… an electric site has an outlet for you to plug things into. A non-electric site does not.”

    Customer: “So… what’s the difference again?”

    Me: *sighs* “Are you camping in a tent or an RV?”

    (I end up being on the call for 40 minutes. The customer continues asking me the difference between an electric site, and a non-electric site.)

    A Large Intelligence Gulf (Of Mexico)

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “So, where are you located?”

    Me: “In Orlando, Florida.”

    Customer: “Ugh! I’m sick of all you foreigners taking jobs from us hard-working Americans!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am an American citizen. Florida is a state in America. Everyone who works in this call center is American.”

    Customer: “I’m not stupid! I know Florida is in Mexico! I want to talk to an AMERICAN!”

    Not Addressing The Problem

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (A customer calls in to report problems with their cell phone. I’ve determined it is a network issue.)

    Me: “So, I will just need to know the location where you are so that I can tell the technician.”

    Customer: “What? I’m not giving you the address! That’s not my job! I just need you to come out and fix it. It’s in Chicago.”

    Me: “Well, in order for our techs to know what tower to fix, they need to know where you are having the issues. Without an address, I can’t put in the ticket.”

    Customer: “No! I am not giving you the address! I am so sick and tired of this stuff! I had the same problem with [other provider]! You don’t need an address to fix it; you just don’t want to help!”

    Me: “I do want to help, which is why I need an address. Even if the system would let me put the ticket in without an address, you’d then be waiting for months for a resolution while we check every tower in Chicago. In order to help, I need to know where to send my techs.”

    Customer: “This is outrageous! I have a business to run! I don’t have time for this s***!”

    Me: “It looks like you have a water-sprinkler company. If one of your customers reported a problem with a pipe you laid, would you go around the entire city checking every pipe, or would you require that customer to give you an address to assist?”

    Customer: *huffs* “That is not the same thing, and you know it! Now get someone out here immediately!”


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