October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Charged Up With Anger–If Nothing Else

| LaCrosse, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. May I have your first and last name, please?”

Caller: “You people sent me a broken phone! I just got this phone from you people Friday and have charged it all f****** weekend and when I take it off the charger, it just dies! I want my money back and you better give me a new phone!”

Me: “Well ma’am, it would be my pleasure to assist you in trying to troubleshoot–”

Caller: “I don’t want no damn troubleshooting! I want a new phone! Now!”

Me: “I’ll be more than happy to get you a new phone but I first need some numbers from inside your phone to process the request. Can you please remove the back of the phone and remove the battery for me?”

Caller: “D*** straight you’ll get me a new phone!” *noise of fiddling with the battery cover* “You people try to rip good folk off and squeeze every dime you leeching-” *pause* “Oh. My. God.”

Me: “Ma’am, you never placed the battery into the phone when you opened the box, did you?”

Caller: “Is that what the little black square thing is? Oh shucks, I’ll take care of it now. Bye!”


| British Columbia, Canada | Geography, Technology, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Alright in order for me to see your screen, you have to select your region.”

Caller: “What does that mean?”

Me: “You need to select the United States on the map.”

Caller: “Why would you think I would know where that was on a map?!”

Me: “It’s just a standard world map.”

(The caller reads places’ names aloud as they hover their mouse over the map.)

Caller: “Asia…Africa…Russia…China…I don’t think it’s here.”

The Gift Of Unreason

| Washington, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I assist you?”

Caller: “I would like a gift card.”

Me: “You would like to purchase a gift card?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. You said you wanted a gift card.”

Caller: “Well, yes. We’ve been shopping at your stores for so many years, we feel we should get a gift card from you.”

Putting The Mental In Sentimental

| West Sussex, UK | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello and thank you for you calling.”

Caller: “I’m looking for a hoodie.”

Me: “Okay, what one would you like?”

Caller: “A dark one, with a hood.”

Me: ” Have you looked at our website?”

Caller: “No. You can pick one for me, and everytime I wear it I’ll think of you…”

Bulk Mail To The Future

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Math & Science, Technology, Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, I called earlier and spoke with someone about getting a quote? She was supposed to email it to me, but I haven’t seen it yet.”

Me: “Not a problem, ma’am. How long ago was she supposed to have sent it?”

Caller: “Maybe ten minutes ago?”

Me: “Let me check with her. Did you check the spam folder, just in case?”

Caller: “I’ve never opened that folder. I really don’t think it would be there anyway.”

Me: “Well, sometimes business emails will automatically go to a spam folder based on their settings. You might want to check anyway.”

Caller: “That’s ridiculous! It wouldn’t be there. Those emails are from the future!”

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