Busted As Charged

| Madison, WI, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “I have an unauthorized charge on my account!”

Me: “Which charge is it?”

Caller: “The one from [restaurant known for waitresses with ample sized busts]. That was a Sunday…I would never go there on a Sunday! Someone must have stolen my card. This is so insulting, to have this charge on there. I need you to remove it immediately!”

Me: “Sir, the date on your account summary is the date the charge cleared your account. The actual date of the transaction at the establishment was two days before, on Friday.”

Caller: “Oh…then that was me.”

Decoration: Unknown

| Burnaby, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I’m contacting a customer because they’ve neglected to write down the postal code for their delivery address.)

Me: “Hello, this is [warehouse]. I was wondering if you could provide me with the postal code so that I can get this order delivered to you.”

Customer: *sighs* “You really need that?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer:  “Oh. I thought it was just a decoration.”

Losing Track Of Your Mind

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “I cannot find my order number or my order. I need the tracking information.”

Me: “Okay. Can I please have your login name so that I can look up your order history?”

(The caller gives their login name and I look up their order history.)

Me: “Ma’am, so that I know we are looking at the same page, can you please tell me what you see?”

Caller: “I see Order Number. I did this already!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. That number is your order number.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. It said Order Number, but I wasn’t sure that’s what it meant.”

Me: “Okay, so let’s track your package. I see that the package has been delivered on the 5th, which was 20 days ago.”

Caller: “Oh? Who signed for it?”

Me: “The initials say **.”

Caller: “Oh, so it was me! I just can’t seem to find that package around here. Could your computer tell me where I put it?”

No Charge For This Call

| Manhattan, KS, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling Business Care. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yea, hi. Just a quick question…y phone is about to die. Is there a way you guys can, like, charge my phone on your guys’ end?”

Me: “Uh, no it needs to be plugged in.”

Caller: “Oh darn, thought there was a way…are you sure?”

Me: “I’m pretty sure.”

Caller: “Couldn’t you at least try?”

Forgetting The Juicy Details

| Miami, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you so much for calling [company name]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi! My phone is not working. I need you guys to send me a new one!”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be more than happy to assist you with that. First, I need to ask you some questions. Is your phone water damaged?”

Customer: “Not at all! I’m really careful with my phones.”

Me: “Okay, good. Ma’am, has the phone been dropped?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then what happened to the phone, ma’am?”

Customer: “My little son dropped my phone on his apple juice.”

Me: “Ma’am, I asked you before if your phone was water damaged.”

Customer: “Well, you said water, not juice. It’s not the same, is it?”

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