Almost Got Physical

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am calling with a complaint that one of my games won’t launch.)

Me: “Hi there, I’d like to register a complaint.”

Call Center: “Of course, sir. Sorry to hear that; how may I help you?”

Me: “Yeah, it seems your service has a bug up its a** and is trying to make me buy a game TWICE!”

Call Center: “Okay, sir, I understand. Can I get your account name and number?”

(We go through the check in questions and she starts looking through my account and transactions in the marketplace.)

Call Center:“Sir, I am seeing achievements on your gamer-tag but in accounts I see no online purchase for this game. Are you certain you bought the game online?”

Me: “OF COURSE I AM! I buy all of my games digital now. What’s the point in this extra hard drive if I have to…”

(At this point I open my drawer and see the game in question’s physical copy lying right there. The realization that I just sat through nearly an hour of robots and wait times to complain that my console wouldn’t play a game without the disc in it slowly sets in.)

Me:“…Um, It would seem as though I actually did buy the disc for this one… I’m going to go ahead and find a very tall building to jump off of.”

Call Center: *chuckling* “Please don’t do that, sir, but do have a good day!”

Had A Mourn-day Thursday

| Europe | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(I am working in a call centre for a large company. This weekend was our weekend off because of the Easter celebration. A colleague, located somewhere else in Europe, is backing our line while we are away.)

Customer: “Hello, I am looking for [My Name]. I have talked to him before and need help from him.”

Coworker: “Well, [My Name] has his day off because of Easter.”

Customer: “GOD D*** IT! Why should he celebrate Easter? I need help with my product NOW!”

Coworker: *pulls up the file* “Well, I can see here that you were supposed to call him on Thursday to let him know about the issue.”

Customer: “Thursday? No, I couldn’t. I took the day off because of Easter.”

Not Much Assurance About Insurance

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(I work for a call center for a nationally known insurance company handling investigations for claims filed on policies that are no longer active.)

Me: “Hello, I’m calling from [Company] regarding the claim you filed for your auto accident. Am I speaking to [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Good afternoon, I was calling to discuss your policy with you. Your claim was filed for an accident that happened yesterday, however it looks like your policy with us ended last year.”

Customer: “What do you mean, it ended? I thought I had insurance with you guys!”

Me: “Well, according to our records, your policy expired in June of last year and you never sent in a payment to restart your policy when we sent you our offer to renew.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Since you didn’t ever send in a payment, then your policy wouldn’t restart.”

Customer: “What do you mean? I never knew I had to send in a payment!”

Me: “Well, let me check on something. Is your address [address on file]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Was that your address last year as well?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I am showing that we sent the offer to that address. Do you recall if you received anything from us?”

Customer: “Yeah, I used to get things from you guys all the time, but then they just stopped.”

Me: “Well, did you read any of them?”

Customer: “No! Why would I read your junk mail? I’m already a customer!”

Me: “That wasn’t junk mail! That was your policy paperwork and your bill.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?”

Me: “The envelope says on the outside that there is important information inside pertaining to your policy and even says on the back to not discard the letter until you’ve read it.”

Customer: “I don’t pay attention to any of that; it’s all junk mail. You’re just trying to get me to buy new things!”

Me: “In this case, we were trying to prevent your policy from ending.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you say something to me?”

Me: “We did! In fact, we send the first notice two months out to give you a warning that the policy is going to end soon, then another one a month out giving you a 30 day notice…Then we sent one after it ended to remind you to purchase new insurance or to contact us to restart your policy with us. I also show that your agent called you twice before it ended to see if you wanted to come by his office to pay it.”

Customer: “Well, I never got any of them!”

Me: “You just told me that you had, but you didn’t read them.”

Customer: “I didn’t! So, I never got them, because I didn’t know that’s what they were!”

Me: “I’m sorry… but you’re saying that because you threw away our letters reminding you to pay that it means you never got them?”

Customer: “Exactly! I shouldn’t have to read mail from you guys. You should just tell me when I need to pay something!”

Me: “We did… like I said, your agent also called you. Did you get his calls?”

Customer: “I was busy, so I never called him back.”

Me: “And this was all a year and a half ago. Your insurance card says that the policy period would end.”

Customer: “I thought it was just old, but that you’d send me a new one.”

Me: “If you don’t open our mail, how would we send you a new one?”

Customer: “By CALLING me first and telling me you were sending it.”

Me: “But you hadn’t paid, and you weren’t returning the agent’s calls!”

Customer: “So? It’s not my fault that you guys don’t know how to get it to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re not going to be able to cover this. You haven’t had insurance with us for almost a year and a half. You’ve confirmed that you got our mail, you got the agent’s calls, and you never responded. You’ve not been paying insurance with us.”

Customer: “And?”

Me: “So, we’re going to be denying this. I suggest you contact your agent if you want to restart your policy, but we cannot do anything for this accident.”

Customer: “So what about my car? Can I get it fixed now?”

(Face to desk.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40

, | Manchester, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work full time in a call centre for a major UK Bank.)

Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [My Name]. How I can help?”

Customer: “I am mad about this!”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that. How can I help?”

Customer: “Well, frankly [My Name], I understand how you can justify this! You have ruined my day completely!”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Well, like I said, I don’t understand this. I spent all the money on my credit card and I cut it up. WHY DID I RECEIVE A BILL FOR IT?!”

(There is a long pause while I attempt not to laugh at this.)

Me: “You do realize that this is money you have borrowed from the bank? It is isn’t free money!”

Customer: “But why do I have to pay? I cut it up!”

Me: “That doesn’t invalidate the bill; this is an amount you have borrowed from the bank which needs to be repaid. Just because you throw it away doesn’t cancel the debt!”

(After several attempts to explaining to customer that she needs to pay and the customer screaming like a banshee:)

Customer: “But how will I pay this? Absolutely ludicrous. You people didn’t make aware of this at all! I thought it all ended if I just cut up the card. I shouldn’t have to pay this debt if I don’t have the card! I want to make a complaint about this.”

Me: “Okay, hold the line. I will put you through to complaints.”

(I could only imagine the pain the poor man went through on the other line, and I could only hope the customer learned a valuable lesson!)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37

Fractional Intelligence, Part 3

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I work in the call center for the complaint line of a fast food restaurant chain.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Guest: “I just bought one of your burgers. The 1/3 lb burger. That’s your big burger, right?”

Me: “Well, we have 1/4 lb, 1/3 lb, and 1/2 lb burgers.”

Guest: “Right. But I got the 1/3 lb burger. That’s the biggest one, right?”

Me: “Um, no ma’am, the 1/2 lb is burger than the 1/3 lb.”

Guest: “Really? Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. 1/2 is bigger than 1/3.”

Guest: “Huh. Never mind, then.”

(Guest hangs up.)

Me: *to coworker* “Wow. Another child left behind…”

Related:
Fractional Intelligence, Part 2
Fractional Intelligence

Page 1/15112345...Last