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    Not Worth The Paper It’s Printed On

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer has called in about his cable tv bill. Several discounts have expired on his previous statement so I have added some recurring discounts back on and begin to review with him:)

    Me: “Okay, I’ve got those two $5 discounts renewed and also added another one for $5, and all of those are good for an entire year. I see that your billed amount was for $95 but you can go ahead and just send us the $80. The computer will know it’s received the correct amount.”

    Customer: “I’m looking at my statement and it didn’t change.”

    Me: “Oh, are you looking at your online statement? Press the F5 button to refresh the page and amount will change.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a computer. My billing statement –” *I hear a flapping noise as a piece of paper is shaken towards the phone* “– DID NOT CHANGE.”

    Me: “…You’re asking why the piece of paper you’re holding in your hand, a physical piece of paper that was mailed to you, didn’t change when I made adjustments to your account just now?”

    Customer: “Yes! It still says $95!”

    A Cent-less Discount

    | Windsor, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name], and how is it I can assist you this evening?”


    Me: “All right, sir. I can definitely assist you with that.”

    (I go through basic troubleshooting and resolve the issue.)

    Me: “All right, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?”


    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “How do you plan to compensate me for this? I wasn’t able to use my service for an hour and a half. I had to just sit here with nothing to do, and then I’ve been on the phone with you for an hour and a half, and I want compensation!”

    Me: “Okay, so you were out for an hour and a half and spent 15 minutes on the phone with me, and you want compensation. Is that correct?”

    Customer: “Yes, and how much is that going to be?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, sir, let me check your bill and I’ll find out.”

    (Since throughout the entire call the customer had been rude and screaming at me I decide I am going to go completely by the book and not just give him a 5 dollar credit, like I normally would. After checking his bill and calculating it down perfectly to the hour and 45 minutes I come back to the phone and inform him:)

    Me: “All right, sir, so after calculating how much it cost you for the hour and 45 minutes you were out of service, it comes to a grand total of 37 cents. Would you like me to apply this to your bill?”

    Customer: “Oh, h***, no! I want more than that. I want your supervisor!”

    Me: “Well, unfortunately my supervisor is not available at this time of night, and it cost you 37 cents for that hour and a half and how long you’ve been speaking to me. Now, is there anything else I can assist you with?”

    Customer: “No!” *click*

    (I did apply the 37 cents credit just to rub it in his face for being such an unpleasant person.)

    Mother Is Due For A Conversation

    | Dhaka, Bangladesh | Family & Kids, Money, Technology

    (My mom just hung up on a call center employee about her phone bill.)

    Me: “Mom, what’s wrong?”

    Mom: “The d*** people at [Phone Service call center] won’t reduce my phone bill!”

    Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

    Mom: “Look!”

    (She hands me the bill, which says that her current bill is BDT 4200, with this month’s charges being 500, and dues being a bit over BDT 3500.)

    Mom: “I don’t even talk that much on my phone! All I do is get an Internet package every month and make a few calls! It shouldn’t be this high!”

    Me: “Mom, you do see that it says here that you didn’t pay the last few bills fully, so you have dues of over BDT 3500, that is added to your existing bill.”

    Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much! It shouldn’t be BDT 4000!”

    Me: “Mom, that’s the DUES. Not this month’s bill. This month’s bill is BDT 500.”

    Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much!”

    Me: “Mom, you didn’t pay fully—”


    Me: “So, even though you didn’t pay your bill fully and have dues, you still think your bill should be less? The dues you racked up should just be forgotten?”

    Mom: “YES! Is that so hard to understand?”

    No Money, More Problems

    | Mississauga, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    (I work at the call center for a small company that does promotional gift cards in the US. Recently, one of our cards has gone on the fritz, and the money was removed from a good number of the cards, and put back into the company’s account. Because of this, my manager has been working tirelessly to load each of the cards manually.)

    Me: “[Company], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “My card is not working!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that, ma’am. May I have the card number so I can take a look at it?”

    (She angrily gives me the number, and I can tell just by the set of digits used that it’s one of the affected cards.)

    Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, due to a malfunction in our system, the funds are temporarily unavailable. If you provide us with your name and number, we’ll be happy to call you back as soon as the card is working again.”

    Customer: “I’m not giving you my name! And I’m definitely not giving you my phone number! Can’t you just fix it now?!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, I’m not authorized to work with card balances, but I’d be happy to transfer you to my manager so that we can get things straightened out.”


    (She continues to harass me for approximately 15-20 minutes; meanwhile, a crowd has begun to gather around my cubicle. Finally, my manager comes to my rescue, and just nods to me to signal that it was okay to transfer her without her permission.)

    Me: “Ma’am, my manager would like to speak with you. I’m transferring you now.”

    Customer: “I TOLD YOU I-”

    (I transfer her over quickly, and my manager wastes no time answering. Knowing what kind of customer she is dealing with, she answers firmly, and from where I’m sitting in my cubicle I can hear the customer go quiet. I take the next call, somewhat frazzled, and fortunately the person is much more gracious about the trouble they are experiencing. Halfway through the second call, my manager comes to my cubicle again, looking like she’s about ready to quit.)

    Manager: “The nerve of that woman. Do you know what she asked me as soon as I fixed it? ‘What am I supposed to do with all this money?'”

    Day-Scare Center

    , | Lewiston, ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I work in a call center selling credit cards over the phone. I get a call one day from a woman who sounds like she is surrounded by children.)

    Me: “…and what is—”

    Caller: *to kids in the background* “Hey! Quiet down back there! Don’t make me get the rolling pin!”

    (I think to myself: Oh, my! Well, they are her children, not mine, so I’ll ignore it.)

    Caller: “You were saying?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, what is your occupation?”

    Caller: “Oh! I work for a daycare center.”

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