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    Just Not Feeling Those Fees

    | The Philippines | Extra Stupid, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a call center industry in Manila, Philippines. We cater to customers in Europe; most likely in the United Kingdom. We handle an online site where they buy and sell some of their items. Normally, customers are being charged for advertising their items on the site depending on for how much they sold their item.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Online Site] customer support. You’re speaking with [My Name]. How can I help you today?

    Customer: *mad and loud voice* “Why the f*** am I being charged for listing my car on your website, when it says you have free listings today?”

    Me: “I do apologise for the inconvenience and misunderstanding regarding on the information you saw. Let me check what happened.”

    (I place the customer’s call on hold, and check on his listing.)

    Me: “Thank you for patiently waiting, [Customer]. Upon checking on your ad, you placed your car on sale in our site, and if you tried reading our notification before you place your advertisement online, it will show you how much you’ll be charged once the car was sold.”

    Customer: “What the f*** are you talking about? You said it was free listing day, I don’t understand. You f***ing mislead customers!”

    Me: “[Customer], let me walk you through in listing your items and I’ll show you the note at the bottom before you list your item online.”

    Customer: “Sure! I bet you’re f****** stupid and don’t know what you’re talking about. Go on and walk me through.”

    (As I walk him through, I show him where he can see the fees.)

    Me: “Now look at the bottom part of the page before clicking the button ‘save’ to advertise your item online; you’ll see that [Our Site] is excluded during Free Listing Days.”

    Customer: “Oh!” *seems ashamed, but still keeps shouting* “You should make that note larger! And you should know that the reason why I’m selling my car is that I don’t have any money! You stupid piece of s***! How can I have money if you’re going to charge me for this, huh?”

    Me: *still calm* “[Customer], I understand that you’d like to have the money in a whole amount. However, like what you saw when I walked you through, you will be charged no matter what happens.”

    Customer: *still shouting* “I won’t pay your d*** fees! I want to speak with your manager! You’re an idiot and I don’t wanna talk to you!”

    Me: “All right. Let me place your call on hold for a couple of minutes while I transfer you to my manager.”

    (I talk to my manager/supervisor and tell him what has happened. Then he takes the call)

    Manager: “Thank you for patiently waiting, [Customer]. My representative told me that you’re having concerns with your listing fees and he already explained what had happened. Is that correct? Can you explain more what happened?”

    Customer: *explains his issues for more than 10 minutes, over and over again*

    Manager: “I do apologise [Customer], but we only follow protocols that were given to us. And everything was clear that you will be charged for listing your call no matter what happens.”

    Customer: “Well, f*** you! F*** your rules! I will not pay you!”

    Manager: “If that’s the case, our collections department will be the one who’ll get in touch with you.”

    Customer: “F*** you! I’ll sue you! I’ll go to your place and kill you!” *click*

    Think They Are The Masters Race

    | FL, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, School

    (I work in a call center for a large insurance company. My desk partner has just gotten a call from an extremely irate man. He is trying to find anything he can use to insult her. She is Filipino, but she was born in the US. She has no accent to speak of and a very American name.)

    Customer: “Are you even in America? Where are you located?”

    Coworker: “I’m in our Florida office, sir.”

    Customer: “Well at least you’re not some dot-head.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Yeah, well, even if you ain’t foreign, you’re obviously an idiot working in a call center. I don’t have time to talk to some uneducated girl.”

    Coworker: “Actually, sir, in addition to having a license to process insurance policies, I have a Master’s degree. So unless you have a Doctorate, I’m certain I’ve had more education than you, and I’m more than qualified to help you.”

    Customer: “Oh… uh…”

    (He didn’t have much to say after that, and I just sat there cackling.)

    Must Go To A Happy-Apping Church

    | UT, USA | Awesome Customers, Religion, Technology

    (I work for a large, nationwide cellphone retailer in their customer service call center. I’m trying to assist a customer with troubleshooting her smartphone which is doing a number of odd things.)

    Customer: “The screen freezes, applications crash, it’s going slow, and calls drop. Once the screen goes into sleep mode on a call I can’t get it to come back up, but then I can’t get it to automatically go into sleep mode otherwise. Someone else has to hang up otherwise the phone will just keep going on the call. On top of all that, the camera. OH, THE CAMERA! It will randomly take pictures! I don’t even have to have the camera up! The flash will go off and a picture appears on the screen!”

    Me: “Wow… sounds like you need a priest, not a technician.”

    Customer: *without skipping a beat* “THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE!”

    Me: “Thank you… That made my night.”

    Off Track Call Back

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work in a call center where the supervisor department closes at 11pm. It is now 10:30pm.)

    Customer: *explanation of lengthy issue that I cannot fix*

    Me: “All right. In order to take care of this issue, I will need to go ahead and transfer your call over to my supervisors, and they will assist you further.”

    Customer: “NO! I will NOT be transferred! You have to fix this for me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I do not have the ability in my system to fix this for you. My supervisors will be more than happy to take care of this for you, though, so let me just transfer you—”

    Customer: “NO! NO TRANSFERS! FIX IT! I’m not hanging up until you fix it for me!”

    (This goes back and forth for almost 45 minutes, with me continuously telling her I cannot fix it for her, and her demanding that I do.)

    Customer: “FINE! Just transfer me already!”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our supervisor department closed 15 minutes ago. I can have one of them call you back tomorrow.”

    Customer: “WHAT?! You purposefully kept me on the phone after they closed! You just didn’t want me to talk to them! I’m going to call my lawyer about this!” *slams phone down*

    Coworker: “Wow… Guess that’s a callback, then.”

    The Movie Tale Is In The (Lack Of) Telling

    | Israel | Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I am a temp for a large mobile services provider, in a call center dedicated to the provider’s loyalty program. Every summer they would give out free books, movie tickets, etc. on particular dates for all paying customers. The caller in this call was around 40 years old.)

    Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [Provider]‘s loyalty program. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “I want the free movie.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, Madam, but the free movie offer ended last week. We have a free book offer this week—”

    Caller: “No, I don’t want any books. I just want the free movie you promised.”

    Me: “Again, Madam, I’m sorry, but that offer is now over.”

    Caller: “But I didn’t know about it on time!”

    Me: “Well, Madam, that’s unfortunate, but you’re welcome to take advantage of the offers we still have—”

    Caller: “No. You will give me a free movie! Make an exception! Talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Madam, we cannot make an exception. The company signed a contract with [Cinema Chain] for a specific period. Now that the period is done, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

    Caller: “But you should have told me! No one told me so it’s your fault and I want the free movie!”

    Me: “Madam, we had ads on billboards in several major streets in your city—”

    Caller: “I don’t go out much.”

    Me: “We also had ads in every major newspaper—”

    Caller: “I don’t read any newspapers.”

    Me: “And several major radio stations—”

    Caller: “I don’t listen to the radio.”

    Me: “And there was a colourful ad in your monthly bill—”

    Caller: “I always disregard those.”

    Me: “And a whole ton of ads on our website and major news websites—”

    Caller: “I don’t use the Internet.”

    Me: “And every single client of [Provider] got a text message about it.”

    Caller: “Oh, those I never read.”

    Me: “Then how, Madam, did you expect us to inform you of this offer, if you disregard every single publicity method we use?”

    Caller: *reproachfully* “Well, I’d expect you to call me!”

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