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    There’s A Twist At The End

    , | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

    (I serve ice cream on a buffet line in the college’s cafeteria. There’s vanilla, chocolate, and twist on the soft serve machine.)

    Student: “Can I have some soft serve vanilla ice cream?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we ran out.”

    Student: “Oh. Then can I have the twist?”

    Their Scam Doesn’t Pan Out

    , | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, School, Theme Of The Month

    (In our college cafeteria, you can eat as much as you want. I make and cook and cut pizza and serve it on a tray, where students can serve themselves. I have just made two cheese pizzas and put one of them on the serving tray. I have made a backup due to the lunch rush. Two students approach.)

    Student #1: “Excuse me; do you have any fresh pizza?”

    Me: “The one that is there came out of the oven less than five minutes ago. I’m sure it’s quite good.”

    Student #2: “But there’s two pieces missing.”

    Me: “Well, someone came and took some pizza since I put it out.”

    Student #1: “I want some fresh pizza. Why can’t you give me a piece of the one you have there?”

    (The student points to the pizza I just put in the hot box that is used to keep food warm.)

    Me: “That pizza came out of the oven at the same time as the one that’s out on the tray.”

    Student #1: “But it’s been sitting out.”

    Me: “For less than five minutes.”

    Student #2: “Fine. Whatever b****.”

    (I turn my back to continue making pizzas, when my manager approaches.)

    Manager: “Hey, you need to get another cheese pizza out, pronto!”

    Me: “Already? I just put one out!”

    (A coworker approaches us.)

    Coworker: “Dude, did you see what happened?”

    Manager: “What?”

    Coworker: “Those girls each took four pieces of pizza when your back was turned and threw it out so they could get ‘fresher’ pizza.”

    Me: “Are you serious?!”

    Coworker: “Yeah! Here they come!”

    Student #2: “Do you have a fresh pizza out?”

    Manager: “Did you just take an entire pizza and throw it out so that you could get a different one?”

    Student #1: “Well she wasn’t serving fresh pizza!”

    Coworker: “She’s lying! [My Name] had put that pizza out maybe two minutes before they came here. Two pieces were missing because the guy in front of them took them.”

    Manager: “We’re going to have to have a little chat about wasting perfectly good food.”

    (My manager had a long talk with the girls and got them to admit that they threw out an entire pizza. After that, my manager gave me permission to refuse service to those two. Thankfully, I never saw them again anyway.)

    Dealing With Racists Can Be Ownerous

    | Fort Worth, TX, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am eating dinner at a cafeteria. I see a waitress being incessantly berated by an elderly woman.)

    Waitress: “May I help you to your table, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Just listen to that redneck accent!”

    Waitress: “I grew up in Texas, Ma’am. Many of us—”

    Customer: “It’s still WHITE TRASH TALK!”

    (The waitress keeps her composure, and helps the elderly woman to her table. The customer starts talking to her grown-up children at the table.)

    Customer: “She is a no-class nothing! White trash! That’s all she is!”

    (The waitress finally takes a deep breath, and walks up to the elderly woman’s table.)

    Waitress: “You’re calling me white trash. Do you know that I own this franchise?”

    (The elderly woman’s eyes narrow at her, as though trying to figure out if she is lying or not.)

    Waitress: “If you’ll look at that plaque, that’s mine. It says I own this franchise. And, ma’am, you need not come back here again.”