November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themselves, Part 5

| Stamford, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m deaf in one ear, and what makes it worse at this time is that I have an ear infection. This makes it extremely difficult to take customer’s drinks correctly, especially if they are saying them very fast. I have only asked this customer once to repeat what the milk and syrup were.)

Customer: “Why do they have the least experienced person taking orders? How many times do I have to repeat myself?!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am; I’m hearing impaired. I was only asking once again to make sure I charged you correctly and that your drink won’t be made wrong.”

Customer: *flustered* “Well, then you should have to wear a sign or something to let people know that you can’t hear.”

(The next customer in the queue chimes decides to chime in.)

Next Customer: “Yeah, because the poor girl probably doesn’t feel embarrassed enough about having you yell at her and having to put up with a**holes like you.”

Customer: “Excuse me?! How dare you! Forget my drink! I’ll just go somewhere else!”

(The customer storms out.)

Next Customer: “Wow, I’m so sorry about that. Do people normally act like that here?”

Me: “She’s a regular…”

Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 4
Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3
Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

Sins Of The Father, Part 3

| OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(I am the customer in this scenario. I have decided to have lunch at a local muffin/sandwich shop. I finish my order, and a couple comes in behind me with two children. The mother leaves to go to another store, and the children begin to run the length of the store without any input from their father. I finally get my food tray, and am stepping away from the counter, when the older of the two, the son runs into me from behind, full tilt. Barely keeping my balance, I cry out.)

Me: “Hey! Watch where you’re going, buddy!”

Father: “Don’t you f****** talk to my kid like that!”

Son: “Yeah!”

(The son aims a punch at my more tender areas. I thankfully turn to the side quickly enough to avoid the hit in the crotch, but the son ends up smacking the hard back of the cell phone in my pocket. He falls to the floor, holding his hand and wailing.)

Father: “You son of a b****! You hit my son!”

Me: “No… he just—”

Father: “Someone call the police! That man hit my son!”

Me: “Look—”

Father: “I saw you! You hit my son! I’m gonna—” *starts advancing on me with fists clenched*

(The owner suddenly comes over.)

Owner: “[Father’s Name], that’s it! I’ve had it! I’ve told you not to let your kids run around here, and now you’re threatening my customers. I don’t care if you’re related to me; I want you and your kids out of my store, now!”

Father: “But he—”

Owner: “Remember, [Father’s Name], you installed the video cameras for me last week. I watched your son run into and try to hit this guy. GET OUT!”

(I didn’t lose my meal, but I was able to eat it in relative peace after the father and the owner finished a protracted screaming match with the father losing and leaving.)

Sins Of The Father, Part 2
Sins Of The Father

Failed The Balancing Act

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(I am working at a busy café, serving a customer who is busy gossiping with her friend.)

Me: “So, your total comes to $4.95.”

(The customer hands me her pre-loaded store card without saying a word. I swipe for payment.)

Me: “Oh, it looks like your balance is reduced to zero now. You just owe $0.35.”

Customer: “YOU USED THE CARD?!”

Me: “Yes, you gave it to me.”

Customer: “Oh my God! I just wanted the balance!”

Me: “Okay, well you should say that when you hand me the card after I ask you for payment.”

Customer: “UGH! Like… I have change!”

Me: “Okay, I’m sorry that you weren’t aware.”

Customer: “Just give me the d*** balance!”

Me: “You have no money on the card. I told you your total. You gave me your card without saying anything. And so I used it. And now there is no money on it. And you still owe me $0.35.”

(The customer gets red-faced, pays the remainder, and still tries to act cool leaving.)

Canada: America’s Hat, Part 7

| Québec City, QC, Canada | Canada, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a café in the old city in Québec, which is a very popular tourist destination. A couple approaches the counter.)

Me: “Bonjour, hello.”

Customer: “Hello! You take American money, right?”

Me: “Ooh, I’m afraid not. Would you like to pay with a card? We take debit and credit.”

Customer: “Why don’t you take American dollars?”

Me: “Because this isn’t the United States.”

Customer: “What are you talking about?!”

Me: “Canada is a different country. May I ask where you’re visiting from?”

Customer: “New Zealand.”

Me: “Right, I thought I recognized the accent. Would you take it kindly if I came to your city and tried to use Australian dollars?”

Customer: “NO!”

Me: “Well, it’s the same deal here. Now would you like to pay with a card?”


Canada: America’s Hat, Part 6
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
Canada: America’s Hat

Sautéed Transmogrified Beef

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hello, [cafe], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, could you tell me what today’s special is?”

Me: “Today we have a lamb steak with rice and greek potatoes.”

Caller: “Is the lamb steak beef?”