A Dual Personality

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Me: “Hello! How are you? What can I get you?”

Customer: “Hey! Can I get a margarita?”

Me: “Sure, would you like that dressed?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Awesome! Would you like salt or sugar?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “…Umm. Which one?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “…I got that. But with what?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Right… So, I don’t think you’re listening to me… Salt. Or sugar. Or even maybe both. Which option?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I go get the salt and sugar shakers.)

Me: “Okay. Salt-” *I wave the salt shaker* “-or sugar?” *I wave the sugar shaker* “Or perhaps both?” *I wave them both*

Customer: “Yes! Yes!”

Me: “Yes to what?!”

Customer: “I said yes already! Yes!”

Me: “Right… That’ll be $7.”

(I did both. She never came back to complain, to my knowledge, so I suppose I guessed correctly?)

Life Without Coffee Is A Scream

, | QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I am a customer at a local coffee shop. There are several people in line behind me, so I order and pay and then step out of the way while the barista makes my drink.)

Barista: “One [drink I ordered]!”

(I didn’t think my drink would be ready so quickly given how busy they are, but nobody else steps forward, so I take it.)

Me: “Thanks!”

Angry Lady: “What the h***? That’s my coffee!” *to the barista* “This woman just stole my f****** coffee!”

Me: “Oh, my gosh, was this yours?”

Angry Lady: “Of course it’s f****** mine! F*** you! What gives you the right to take my coffee?”

Me: “I’m so sorry. I ordered the same thing, and nobody stepped up to take it so I thought it was mine.”

Angry Lady: “F*** you! You’re just a broke [racial slur] loitering outside a coffee shop trying to steal other people’s food! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Barista: “Actually, ma’am, this lady ordered and paid for the same drink as you. She has already apologised for her mistake, and if you just wait a moment, I’m making her drink now and you can take that one.”

Me: “I’m really sorry. I’d give this back but I already took a sip. If you take my drink we’ll both have what we ordered.”

Angry Lady: “I don’t want your f****** coffee. I want mine!”

Barista: “Ma’am, they are exactly the same, and please stop cursing. There are children here.”

Angry Lady: “Go f*** yourself!”

(She grabs the coffee out of my hand, flings it on the ground at my feet, throws the empty cup at the barista, and then storms off without a drink.)

Barista: *shrugs* “Shame she chucked that coffee on the ground. I think she needs it!”

(She finished making my drink. The angry lady was nowhere to be seen, so I took it and left. It was the best coffee I’d had all week!)

When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

, | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “One moment, please.”

Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

Reached Their Tea Total

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: “Hello. Do you have any tea?”

Me: “Yes. Caffeinated teas: we have an English breakfast black, an  Earl Grey, and a China green. Herbal: we have mint, hibiscus, peach, and chamomile.”

Customer: “That’s too overwhelming.” *walks out*

H2-D’oh! Part 2

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(At my store, cashiers shout to the barista which drinks have been ordered. The exceptions to this are water and soda; customers get cups for that and are directed to the soda fountain.)

Cashier: “Can you make my customer a caramel latte?”

Me: “You got it!”

(I make the drink, and a woman walks up to the counter.)

Customer: “Is this mine?”

Me: “A caramel latte?”

Customer: “Thanks!”

(She takes it and leaves. Ten minutes later, she comes back to the counter.)

Customer: “I don’t think this is what I ordered.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll remake yours. What did you order?”

Customer: “Oh, I ordered water.”

Me: *speechless*

(Another customer walks up to the counter.)

Other Customer: “I don’t mean to bother, but I ordered a caramel latte a long time ago. Is it ready yet?”

Me: *internally screaming*

Related:
H2-D’oh!

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