November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!


| Sweden | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

Me: “Nina! Here’s your tall hot chocolate!”

(The customer takes it, walks away, and comes back.)

Customer: “What was the name?”

Me: “Nina.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s not me.”

Me: *looking at the line of drinks and not seeing any other hot chocolates waiting to be made* “…and you’re waiting for a hot chocolate?”

Customer: “No, a strawberries and cream Frappuccino.”

Me: “…”

A Ham-Handed Approach To Religious Sensitivity

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion

(I am working in a café-type chain that specializes in cinnamon-based, circular baked goods, but we also serve sandwiches, crepes, etc. A woman in a hijab comes up and orders a ham and cheese crepe.)

Me: “Right away, ma’am!”

(I start making the food, then realize she is most likely Muslim, and ham is a pork product, so I go back to her.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry but I just wanted to double check: are you a practicing Muslim? Because ham is a pork product and I know that it is prohibited. If so I have no problems making one with turkey or chicken, or even a vegetarian one for you.”

Customer: “How DARE you ask me about my religion? I’m going to file a complaint about this for your discrimination!”

Me: “I’m very sorry. I don’t believe I was being discriminatory. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to eat something you shouldn’t be eating…”

Customer: “I know what I f****** ordered! Just give me my food!”

Me: “Oookey dokey, right away.”

(I finish making her ham and cheese crepe, and bring it to her where she’s seated.)

Customer: “People like you sicken me.”

(After three or so bites, she storms up to me, slams the food down directly onto the counter, yelling at me:)


(After a few minutes of this lady yelling at me, with me apologizing and explaining the situation, the owner (a practicing Muslim from Lebanon) shows up and asks what’s going on. I explain what happened, he then asks the woman, and she immediately goes on a rant in Arabic to him. Another few minutes later, he says two sentences in Arabic to her, she looks extremely angry and storms away.)

Me: “What did you say to her?”

Owner: “I told her that although she does have ears and a brain, she clearly has many years to go before she actually knows how to use them.”

(Needless to say we never saw her again.)

Chocolate Chip Slip

| Pigeon Forge, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am a cashier behind a counter at a cafe when a middle-aged man walks in.)

Me: “Yes, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “A packet of chocolate and a chip milkshake.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Packet of chocolate and a chip milkshake!”

Me: “Don’t you mean—”

Customer: *really loudly* “A packet of chocolate and a chip milkshake! How hard is that—” *realizes* “—Sorry.”

Me: “Packet of chips and a chocolate milkshake?”

(Customer nodded and collected his food. I’ve never seen anyone rush to their table so quickly!)

Working With The Yes-Men

| Stockholm, Sweden | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working at a popular café and serving customers as usual when an older man walks in.)

Customer: “I would like a sandwich, please.”

Me: “Of course, sir. What kind of bread would you like?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What kind of bread would you like, sir?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(At this point I assume he is an alcoholic so I just take a chance on which bread he wanted.)

Me: “Okay, what would you like on your sandwich, sir?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What would you like on your sandwich, sir?”

Customer: “White bread.”

(This goes on until I can finally understand what he wants.)

Me: “Goodbye, sir. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “No.”

Splitting Hairs Over The Price

| New Zealand | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(A customer at my cafe comes up to the counter, scone in hand, looking angry.)

Customer: “There is a hair in my scone. I want a refund.”

Me: “I’m so sorry for that. Let me sort that out for you.”

(I return a minute later, apologizing again and giving her a refund. As she walks off several staff members look at the hair, which is sitting in the jam she spread herself, not baked in, and could only have come from her head.)

Coworker: “She was complaining about the price earlier when ordering.”

(As it turned out, she had complained but bought the scone anyway, had her fill, then placed her own hair in the jam before asking for her refund.)