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    Totally Estúpido, Part 2

    , , | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I have a Hispanic name, but was born in raised in the United States; therefore, I have no accent. The phone rings and I’m the closest so I go to pick it up.)

    Me: “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *beep*

    Me: “Hello?”

    Customer: *beep*

    Me: *I try one more time before hanging up*

    Customer: “English.”

    Me: *in an overly enthusiastic voice* “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Non-Hispanic Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s better. I think I got the Spanish line when I first called.”

    Doesn’t Have The Tea-Total

    | Milton Keynes, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (I am in a train station and figure I’ll get a cup of tea from the on-site cafe as I have about an hour until my train.)

    Me: “How much for a cup of tea?”

    Employee: “£1.50.”

    Me: *checks change in my pocket* “Never mind, I don’t have enough.”

    Employee: “How much do you have?”

    Me: “£1.33.”

    Employee: “That’ll do. It’s too cold to go out without a cuppa!”

    Cocoa-Loco

    | Sweden | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    Me: “Nina! Here’s your tall hot chocolate!”

    (The customer takes it, walks away, and comes back.)

    Customer: “What was the name?”

    Me: “Nina.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s not me.”

    Me: *looking at the line of drinks and not seeing any other hot chocolates waiting to be made* “…and you’re waiting for a hot chocolate?”

    Customer: “No, a strawberries and cream Frappuccino.”

    Me: “…”

    A Ham-Handed Approach To Religious Sensitivity

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion

    (I am working in a café-type chain that specializes in cinnamon-based, circular baked goods, but we also serve sandwiches, crepes, etc. A woman in a hijab comes up and orders a ham and cheese crepe.)

    Me: “Right away, ma’am!”

    (I start making the food, then realize she is most likely Muslim, and ham is a pork product, so I go back to her.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry but I just wanted to double check: are you a practicing Muslim? Because ham is a pork product and I know that it is prohibited. If so I have no problems making one with turkey or chicken, or even a vegetarian one for you.”

    Customer: “How DARE you ask me about my religion? I’m going to file a complaint about this for your discrimination!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry. I don’t believe I was being discriminatory. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to eat something you shouldn’t be eating…”

    Customer: “I know what I f****** ordered! Just give me my food!”

    Me: “Oookey dokey, right away.”

    (I finish making her ham and cheese crepe, and bring it to her where she’s seated.)

    Customer: “People like you sicken me.”

    (After three or so bites, she storms up to me, slams the food down directly onto the counter, yelling at me:)

    Customer: “I SHOULD HAVE YOU FIRED FOR THIS! LOOK AT THIS! THIS IS PIG MEAT!”

    (After a few minutes of this lady yelling at me, with me apologizing and explaining the situation, the owner (a practicing Muslim from Lebanon) shows up and asks what’s going on. I explain what happened, he then asks the woman, and she immediately goes on a rant in Arabic to him. Another few minutes later, he says two sentences in Arabic to her, she looks extremely angry and storms away.)

    Me: “What did you say to her?”

    Owner: “I told her that although she does have ears and a brain, she clearly has many years to go before she actually knows how to use them.”

    (Needless to say we never saw her again.)

    Chocolate Chip Slip

    | Pigeon Forge, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am a cashier behind a counter at a cafe when a middle-aged man walks in.)

    Me: “Yes, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “A packet of chocolate and a chip milkshake.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Packet of chocolate and a chip milkshake!”

    Me: “Don’t you mean—”

    Customer: *really loudly* “A packet of chocolate and a chip milkshake! How hard is that—” *realizes* “—Sorry.”

    Me: “Packet of chips and a chocolate milkshake?”

    (Customer nodded and collected his food. I’ve never seen anyone rush to their table so quickly!)

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