To Whom This May (Not) Concern

| Australia | Food & Drink

Me: “Medium size latte for Sarah!”

(A customer approaches and looks at the drink.)

Customer: “Oh, sorry, I didn’t order a latte.”

Me: “I’m really sorry about that, Sarah.”

Customer: “I’m not Sarah.”

Me: “You’re not Sarah and you didn’t order a latte?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but this isn’t your coffee…”

A Sense Of Inflaming Doom

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. What would you like to order today?”

Customer: “I need to order half a dozen cinnamon raisin bagels.”

Me: “Sure, I will get that for you.”

Customer: “Just so you know, they have to be slightly burned, but not too slightly burned. They cannot look perfect without a small burn. Otherwise, I will freak out and have a bad day!”

(I search through the cinnamon raisin bagels for those with the slightest burn. Thinking this should be satisfactory, I present them to her for inspection.)

Customer: “They are too burned! You ruined my day! I warned you! I demand to see your manager!”

The Cow Goes Moy

| Singapore | Food & Drink

(I work at a popular soy milk shop that sells all soy products only.)

Customer: “What kind of ice cream is this?”

Me: “It’s vanilla ice cream, but we used soy milk instead of milk.”

Customer: “Oh, um, how about this smoothie?”

Me: “It’s a soy milk shake.”

Customer: “And this?”

Me: “It’s hot soy milk with glass jelly.”

Customer: “Why do you have so much soy?”

Me: “Ma’am, we specialize in soy products.”

Customer: “Oh! So you have like, a soy cow, then?”

Zip Unless You Know Your Zip

| St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada | Geography

Customer: “I live in this area but I don’t know my postal code. What is the postal code for here? They will be similar…it’s just so I have an idea of what postal code is.”

Me: “I don’t know off by heart. If you give me a minute, I could look it up.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. How can you not know the postal code?! You WORK here!”

Me: “Um, sir, you don’t know the postal code to your own address and you LIVE here.”

The Shame Diet

| Australia | Food & Drink

(At our cafe, the chefs occasionally put out a plate of food in the kitchen for everyone to nibble on when they have a moment of spare time. The chefs had put out a bowl of chips. Having a 10 second rest, I grab one chip. There happens to be a customer in front of the counter and he looks at me knowingly.)

Customer: “Calories.” *walks off*

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