No ID, No Idea, Part 6

| Eugene, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at an on-campus location. Students can pay for food with meal accounts using their student IDs.)

Customer: “I don’t have my ID. Can I just give you my number?”

Me: “Sure. I’ll just need another form of picture ID.”

(The customer pulls out a credit card.)

Me: “Oh, would you like to pay with this instead?”

Customer: “No, that’s my ID.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I need a picture ID.”

(The customer takes the credit card back, and hands me another credit card.)

Me: “A picture ID, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, all these cards have my name on them! That proves they’re mine!”

No ID, No Idea, Part 5
No ID, No Idea, Part 4
No ID, No Idea, Part 3
No ID, No Idea, Part 2
No ID, No Idea

Patronising Patron

| Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “A black coffee and a bacon roll, please.”

Me: *repeating order as I write it* “Black coffee and a bacon roll. Okay!”

Customer: “Oh, well done.”

(I begin to write crispy under ‘bacon roll’ on the ticket.)

Customer: “Oh! I mean the bacon roll well done, not you!” *nervous laughter*

Me: “Of course! Extra crispy bacon.”

Customer: “Not that you aren’t doing a good job, of course! I just meant… you know. Thank you, and well done!”

Whipped For The Cream

| MD, USA | Top

(A male customer comes into my cafe and spends five minutes staring at the baked goods before finally coming up to order.)

Customer: “Well, there’s no manly way to say this: I want a cream puff.”

Walking Carpets Tend To Be That Way

| Illinois, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(I am a customer having lunch at a cafe near my office. I overhear two teen girls at the table next to mine.)

Customer #1: “I don’t like this Chewbacca sandwich.”

Customer #2: “Um…what?”

Customer #1: “This Chewbacca sandwich. It’s too tough.”

Customer #2: “I think you mean ciabatta.”

The Gondorian Is Always Right

| Springfield, MO, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

(I’m a customer here. When you place an order, the cashier asks for a name to call when the order is ready. As I’m finishing my lunch and getting ready to go, I hear over the intercom speakers…)

Employee: “Aragorn, the firstborn son of Arathorn, your order is ready!”

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