Should Have Given Them Decaf

| ON, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’m in line at a coffee shop before work when I overhear the following conversation between the cashier and the exhausted looking customer in front of me.)

Cashier: “What can I get you?”

Customer: “Coffee”

Cashier: “Any particular one?”

Customer: “Coffee”

Cashier: “Okay, what size would you like?”

Customer: “Coffee”

Cashier: “All righty, then, one extra large mocha supreme with a shot of espresso coming up.”

Customer: *while handing her $10* “Thank you.”

(The cashier got the coffee and the man took it and his change with one more mumbled “coffee” and left.)

Me: “That was weird.”

Cashier: “No kidding”

Me: “That’s the most expensive drink on the menu isn’t it?”

Cashier: “Yep.”

Out Of Line Behavior

| Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(The cafe is run by three people: the owner, the cook, and me, the server. At this time, there is a long line going almost out the door when a customer (Customer #1) decides to skip ahead and form a new line. I say nothing but Customer #2, the person I’m taking care of, does.)

Customer #2: “Miss, the line is back there.”

Customer #1: “We can place orders here, too”

Me: “You can wait there if you want, but I have to serve them first.”

Customer #1: “When did that change?”

Me: “It never did. I always serve those who wait their turn, not necessarily where they decide to stand.”

(Customer #1 walked out with a huff.)

Vexed, Lies & Videotape

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Wild & Unruly

(I am sitting down with my friends at a cafe when some rather loud customers come in. I think they’ve been partying or something, because they won’t stop talking rather loudly and giggling.)

Cashier: “What can I get you ladies?”

Customer #1: “Well, you could stop dressing like a f****** emo for one.”

(The cashier simply has dyed black hair and nails.)

Cashier: “Please stop being rude.”

Customer #2: “Err, no! It’s a free country. We can say what we like, you dumb b****!”

Cashier: “Just stop this.”

Customer #1: “No, get us [order] and get snappy about it, b****, or I’ll tell the manager you hit me!”

Me: “That won’t work! We’ve been watching you!”

Customer #2: “And what the h*** are you gonna do about it, b****? *walks up to me and throws my food on the floor* “Oh, look, you can’t do anything.”

Me: “I can. I know there are cameras here.”

Customer #2: “As. If. You. Slut.”

Cashier: “I’m getting my manager. Hopefully he can sort you out and ban you from here.”

Customer #3: “Oh, come on! We’re paying customers. You can’t throw us out.”

Cashier: “It doesn’t matter; you’re causing a scene and you need to pay for that young woman’s food.”

Customer #1: “As. F***.”

(The manager comes from a back room and looks exhausted anyway so I don’t think he’ll even try to make the girls leave. I get up and go over just in case he needs help.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, your cashier spat in my face, so I think we need a free meal.

Manager: “The only thing you’re getting for free around here is a one-way ticket out of here. I’ve had a really hard time with lots of people are coming in for Christmas. I’ve been up all night and I really just don’t want any hassle.”

Customer #3: “Well, don’t and don’t throw us out.”

(The manager looks almost tired enough to give in. The cashier looks at him horrified as I take my turn.)

Me: “The video cameras have enough footage of you insulting and being violent so I can just call the police right now and have them arrest you.”

(The customers look truly scared. They begin to run, with the cashier and I trying to stop them getting out the door but they throw things from the tables at us, including dishes, vinegar and even chairs. I get a gash on my shoulder and the cashier is struck in the face but they get out.)

Manager: “Don’t worry, I saw their licence.”

(I saw later that they were arrested.)

Has Led A Sugar-Coated Existence

| Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(For sanitary reasons, we do not add sugar to our customer’s coffee. There are sugar packets and spoons in front of the register for the customers to use.)

Me: “Here’s your regular latte, sir. Have a good day!”

Customer: “…are there two sugars in this?”

Me: “No sir, but there are sugar packets just in front for you.”

Customer: *looking very confused* “But how is the sugar going to get in my coffee?”

Me: “You can just put it in…” *customer is still frowning at me like he doesn’t understand*

Me: “Never mind. I’ll help you with that.”

(I take two sugar packets from right in front of this man, tear them open and pour in the sugar. Then I stir it in and slide it back across the counter to him.)

Me: “Just like that, sir. Have a good day!”

Customer: “Ugh, bye.” *storms off muttering something under his breath*

(Meanwhile, my coworker and I stood there wondering how this man had gotten through 40-something years of his life without stirring in sugar!)

Can’t Sweeten The Deal

, | Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I overhear a conversation in a café:)

Customer: “Hey! I just wanted to add some of your delicious flavored syrups to my coffee.”

Barista: You bought that coffee somewhere else.”

Customer: “Yeah, but you have better flavor syrups.”

Barista: “Well, I guess I can add some to your coffee. It will be 40¢ for each flavor. What would you like?”

Customer: “What? I just want the syrup.”

Barista: “I know but we did buy them, so I have to charge you something.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I came here just for your flavored syrup!”

Barista: “Maybe next time you can come here for your coffee and then get whatever you want added to it.”

Customer: “But [Other Coffee Shop] has better coffee!”

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