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    A Dual Personality

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! How are you? What can I get you?”

    Customer: “Hey! Can I get a margarita?”

    Me: “Sure, would you like that dressed?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Awesome! Would you like salt or sugar?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…Umm. Which one?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…I got that. But with what?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Right… So, I don’t think you’re listening to me… Salt. Or sugar. Or even maybe both. Which option?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (I go get the salt and sugar shakers.)

    Me: “Okay. Salt-” *I wave the salt shaker* “-or sugar?” *I wave the sugar shaker* “Or perhaps both?” *I wave them both*

    Customer: “Yes! Yes!”

    Me: “Yes to what?!”

    Customer: “I said yes already! Yes!”

    Me: “Right… That’ll be $7.”

    (I did both. She never came back to complain, to my knowledge, so I suppose I guessed correctly?)

    Life Without Coffee Is A Scream

    , | QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a customer at a local coffee shop. There are several people in line behind me, so I order and pay and then step out of the way while the barista makes my drink.)

    Barista: “One [drink I ordered]!”

    (I didn’t think my drink would be ready so quickly given how busy they are, but nobody else steps forward, so I take it.)

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Angry Lady: “What the h***? That’s my coffee!” *to the barista* “This woman just stole my f****** coffee!”

    Me: “Oh, my gosh, was this yours?”

    Angry Lady: “Of course it’s f****** mine! F*** you! What gives you the right to take my coffee?”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. I ordered the same thing, and nobody stepped up to take it so I thought it was mine.”

    Angry Lady: “F*** you! You’re just a broke [racial slur] loitering outside a coffee shop trying to steal other people’s food! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    Barista: “Actually, ma’am, this lady ordered and paid for the same drink as you. She has already apologised for her mistake, and if you just wait a moment, I’m making her drink now and you can take that one.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry. I’d give this back but I already took a sip. If you take my drink we’ll both have what we ordered.”

    Angry Lady: “I don’t want your f****** coffee. I want mine!”

    Barista: “Ma’am, they are exactly the same, and please stop cursing. There are children here.”

    Angry Lady: “Go f*** yourself!”

    (She grabs the coffee out of my hand, flings it on the ground at my feet, throws the empty cup at the barista, and then storms off without a drink.)

    Barista: *shrugs* “Shame she chucked that coffee on the ground. I think she needs it!”

    (She finished making my drink. The angry lady was nowhere to be seen, so I took it and left. It was the best coffee I’d had all week!)

    When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

    , | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “One moment, please.”

    Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

    Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

    Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

    Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

    Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

    Reached Their Tea Total

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hello. Do you have any tea?”

    Me: “Yes. Caffeinated teas: we have an English breakfast black, an  Earl Grey, and a China green. Herbal: we have mint, hibiscus, peach, and chamomile.”

    Customer: “That’s too overwhelming.” *walks out*

    H2-D’oh! Part 2

    | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (At my store, cashiers shout to the barista which drinks have been ordered. The exceptions to this are water and soda; customers get cups for that and are directed to the soda fountain.)

    Cashier: “Can you make my customer a caramel latte?”

    Me: “You got it!”

    (I make the drink, and a woman walks up to the counter.)

    Customer: “Is this mine?”

    Me: “A caramel latte?”

    Customer: “Thanks!”

    (She takes it and leaves. Ten minutes later, she comes back to the counter.)

    Customer: “I don’t think this is what I ordered.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll remake yours. What did you order?”

    Customer: “Oh, I ordered water.”

    Me: *speechless*

    (Another customer walks up to the counter.)

    Other Customer: “I don’t mean to bother, but I ordered a caramel latte a long time ago. Is it ready yet?”

    Me: *internally screaming*

    Related:
    H2-D’oh!

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