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  • Off-Color Customer

    | AZ, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (I am changing out the coffee urns by the entrance when this exchange happens. It’s a very slow part of the day so the restaurant is empty but for one person.)

    Customer: “Hey, where do I order a sandwich?”

    Me: *pointing to the counter not 15 feet away where the only other customer is ordering* “Right over there, sir.”

    Customer: “Where? I don’t see it.”

    Me: “Just give your order to that employee right there.”

    Customer: “Who? Do I order with you?”

    Me: “…no. That guy standing behind the counter right there.”

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: *pointing* “Okay, do you see that large sign suspended from the ceiling that says ‘Order Sandwiches Here’?”

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: *pointing again* “Do you see those two people standing right there? It’s just above them. Just walk over there.”

    Customer: *looking directly at them* “I don’t get it. Where’s the sign?”

    Me: “Sir, just walk over to where that other customer is standing and the employee will take your order next.”

    Customer: *staring in that direction* “Who?”

    Me: *starting to wonder if his eyesight is very bad* “Sir, do you see that person standing at the counter right there?”

    Customer: “Oh, you mean that BLACK GUY? He’s a customer?!”

    (This was loud enough that the other customer heard and turned around.)

    Me: “….yeeeahhh. He’s at the front of the line. Just go over there and stand behind him.”

    (The customer still looked confused, and still seemed to have some trouble finding it as he wandered over. I apologized to the other customer as he was leaving, while my poor coworker had a deer-in -the-headlights look while he was trying to get the other guy’s order (which took over five minutes). Thank goodness he came in while it was slow!)

    Egging Them On To Try It

    | UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A shop near me does sandwiches, Most of the options are chicken, but there are a few vegetarian options. Two customers are having the following conversation:)

    Customer #1: “Can you get me a half chicken, half egg sandwich.”

    Customer #2: “Half chicken, half egg? That just seems wrong.”

    Customer #1: “Why? Eggs come from chickens!”

    Customer #2: “But did the chicken come before the egg?”

    Customer #1: “Depends what side I eat first?”

    Sharing Is Berry Important

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A young girl and her granddad approach my till and he indicates the open bag of cranberries in her hand.)

    Man: “I’d like to pay for those, please.”

    Me: “Of course, sir. That’ll be 99p, please.”

    Girl: “Would you like one, Granddad?”

    Man: “No, thank you, darling.”

    (The little girl then reaches over the counter to offer the bag to me.)

    Girl: “Would you like one?”

    Me: *surprised* “Oh, no, thank you! But it’s very nice of you to offer.”

    Girl: *sternly* “You should ALWAYS share!”

    A Dual Personality

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! How are you? What can I get you?”

    Customer: “Hey! Can I get a margarita?”

    Me: “Sure, would you like that dressed?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Awesome! Would you like salt or sugar?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…Umm. Which one?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…I got that. But with what?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Right… So, I don’t think you’re listening to me… Salt. Or sugar. Or even maybe both. Which option?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (I go get the salt and sugar shakers.)

    Me: “Okay. Salt-” *I wave the salt shaker* “-or sugar?” *I wave the sugar shaker* “Or perhaps both?” *I wave them both*

    Customer: “Yes! Yes!”

    Me: “Yes to what?!”

    Customer: “I said yes already! Yes!”

    Me: “Right… That’ll be $7.”

    (I did both. She never came back to complain, to my knowledge, so I suppose I guessed correctly?)

    Life Without Coffee Is A Scream

    , | QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a customer at a local coffee shop. There are several people in line behind me, so I order and pay and then step out of the way while the barista makes my drink.)

    Barista: “One [drink I ordered]!”

    (I didn’t think my drink would be ready so quickly given how busy they are, but nobody else steps forward, so I take it.)

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Angry Lady: “What the h***? That’s my coffee!” *to the barista* “This woman just stole my f****** coffee!”

    Me: “Oh, my gosh, was this yours?”

    Angry Lady: “Of course it’s f****** mine! F*** you! What gives you the right to take my coffee?”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. I ordered the same thing, and nobody stepped up to take it so I thought it was mine.”

    Angry Lady: “F*** you! You’re just a broke [racial slur] loitering outside a coffee shop trying to steal other people’s food! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    Barista: “Actually, ma’am, this lady ordered and paid for the same drink as you. She has already apologised for her mistake, and if you just wait a moment, I’m making her drink now and you can take that one.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry. I’d give this back but I already took a sip. If you take my drink we’ll both have what we ordered.”

    Angry Lady: “I don’t want your f****** coffee. I want mine!”

    Barista: “Ma’am, they are exactly the same, and please stop cursing. There are children here.”

    Angry Lady: “Go f*** yourself!”

    (She grabs the coffee out of my hand, flings it on the ground at my feet, throws the empty cup at the barista, and then storms off without a drink.)

    Barista: *shrugs* “Shame she chucked that coffee on the ground. I think she needs it!”

    (She finished making my drink. The angry lady was nowhere to be seen, so I took it and left. It was the best coffee I’d had all week!)

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