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    Sticky Situations

    | Kansas, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [cable company], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, yes. I accidentally ordered an on demand movie because my select button was stuck and as I was trying to unstick it, the movie got ordered and I need to stop it.”

    Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. Just hit the stop button on the remote.”

    Customer: “Okay, it’s stopped.”

    Me: “And what was the name of the movie?”

    (Customer tells me the title of an adult movie.)

    Me: “So let me get this straight: in the process of unsticking your select button you pressed the down arrow 3 times, the right arrow 2 times, the right arrow again, and the down button 4 times?”

    Customer: *gasps* “You pervert!” *click*

    Great Game Until The Tornado Stole Home

    | Manchester, NH, USA |

    Customer: *on the phone and angry* “HOW DARE YOU RUN AN EMERGENCY ALERT DURING THE RED SOX GAME?! BASES LOADED!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry for the inconvenience. We have no control over the emergency alerts.”

    Customer: “CAN’T THEY DO IT AT NIGHT?! I’M TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME! BASES ARE LOADED!”

    Me: “Again, ma’am, unfortunately the emergency alert will broadcast during an emergency situation; we have no control over when that will happen.

    Customer: “WELL YOU BETTER GET SOME CONTROL OVER IT!” *click*

    Patience (Not) Be Thy Name

    | Ohio, USA |

    (Note: this call takes place at 2:15 pm.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling blank blanker cable. How may I help you today?

    Caller: “I was supposed to have a tech out here between 2pm and 4pm! Where the h*** is he?

    Me: “Sir, the tech is scheduled for anytime between the hours of 2 and 4, so he is not late. He is on his way.”

    Caller: “I want a credit for the install fee. I shouldn’t have to pay an install fee if the tech is late.”

    Me: “Sir, he is not late. He has until 4pm to get there.”

    Caller: “I want to speak to a supervisor now!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, but a supervisor will tell you the same thing…”

    Caller: “I don’t wanna talk to you! You don’t know what you are doing! give me a supervisor, now!”

    Me: “no, I will not do that.”

    Caller: “You have to! It’s the law!”

    Me: “No, it isn’t; it isn’t even company policy. You can wait for the tech, or you can cancel the appointment. Which would you like to do?”

    Caller: “Oh… the tech is here.” *click*

    Money Talks, Something Else Walks

    , | USA | Top

    Me: “Your cable modem doesn’t work because you split the line to it 30 times for all the other rooms in your house. You have to put it on the first splitter. I’d be happy to rewire it for you.”

    Customer: “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!”

    Me: “Have you ever heard of cable fraud?”

    Customer: “How much was that again?”

    Source

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