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  • Fare The Horde

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Criminal/Illegal, Money, Top, Transportation

    (On my Seattle bus, a passenger tries to slip in through the back door and sneak to a seat without paying.)

    Bus Driver: “Please come up and pay, sir.”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *smirks and ignores him*

    Bus Driver: “Sir, please come up and pay.”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *continues ignoring him*

    (Fed up, I intervene.)

    Me: “That’s you, bro.”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *smirks again*

    (I wait a few seconds before I get up, walk over, and pull out one of his ear-buds.)

    Me:Look. I got three hours of sleep last night, I’m having a bad morning, and you are not going to make me late for work. Get your self-entitled a** up there and pay your d*** fare!”

    Fare-evading Passenger: *slinks up to the front of the bus and pays*

    (Note that I’m wearing a t-shirt with “Thrall” from World of Warcraft. Another passenger at the front notices and shouts back towards me…)

    Another Passenger: “FOR THE HORDE!”

    The Child After The Storm

    | Canada | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top, Transportation

    (A bunch of young men are talking loudly in the bus and using a lot of expletives. They’re also with a female passenger who is apparently their friend and is black.)

    Young Male Passenger #1: “Yeah, she’s such a f***ing b****.”

    Young Male Passenger #2: “Because she’s a black c***!”

    Young Female Passenger: “What?!”

    Young Male Passenger #1: “Yeah!”

    Young Male Passenger #2: “You black c***s can be f***ing—”

    (At this moment, a boy of around age 7 gets on the bus. Hearing the rude conversation, the child immediately makes his way to the back of the bus and stands right in the middle of this group, as if challenging them to continue talking.)

    Loud group: *stays completely silent for 5 seconds*

    Young Male Passenger #1: “…Okay, never mind.”

    Young Male Passenger #2: “Um… I meant… you black ladies are… pretty crazy. Yeah. Pretty crazy at times.”

    (They stopped using offensive language after that, at least until the young boy’s parents called him back to sit with them!)

    Ooh, I’m Quaking In My Oats

    | USA | Food & Drink

    (This happened to a coworker of mine, who is a bus driver. It is against policy to let food on the bus, and there is a sign that clearly states this.)

    Passenger: *tries to get on the bus with a giant bowl of oatmeal*

    Coworker: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t take that oatmeal on the bus.”

    Passenger: “What?! Why?”

    Coworker: “There’s no food allowed on the bus.”

    Passenger: “I won’t spill!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, but there’s still no food on the bus.”

    Passenger: “Well…YOU’RE UGLY!”

    From The Mouth Of Babes

    | Sydney, Australia |

    (While driving a bus, I overhear this conversation between a mother and her child right after a police car had driven by with lights and siren blaring.)

    Child: “Mum, is that police car coming for us?”

    Mother: “No, why?”

    Child: “Because you told the bus driver I’m three and I’m really four.”

    Bus(ted)

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    (A woman enters the bus with her son.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Your son didn’t pay the fare.”

    Customer: “But children are free!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. Children’s fare is currently at seventy-five cents.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not paying that! It’s free!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ve been misinformed. Children still have to pay a fare to ride the bus.”

    Customer: “No they don’t! You’re just trying to scam me!”

    Me: “The fare box is locked, and is only accessed at the end of my shift, when I’m long gone.”

    Customer: *pointing to the fare box* “You’re lying! This thing opens right up!”

    Me: “If you can open it, your son can ride free.”

    (The customer proceeds to struggle with the box for some minutes.)

    Customer: “Seventy five cents, you said?”

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