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    Putting You In The Hot Seat

    | Paris, France | Crazy Requests, Transportation

    (I am on the bus home when a middle-aged woman gets on. The bus is far from empty, but there are several free seats left. Nonetheless, she approaches a teenage girl sitting down towards the front.)

    Lady: “I need that seat.”

    Girl: *in halting, heavily-accented French* “I’m sorry, I don’t…”

    Lady: “I NEED that seat. I need it now. I have a pass. I need it.”

    Girl: “I… there are other…”

    Lady: “BUT I NEED THAT SEAT.”

    (The girl apparently gave up, and decided to move to one of the free seats nearby. The woman sat her bag down on the vacated seat and proceeded to stand next to it with a faint air of triumph for the rest of her journey – all of three stops down the road.)

    Making A Fare Point

    | Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Money, Transportation

    (I’m riding a bus watching people get on. One of the passengers walks past the fare box without paying.)

    Driver: “Excuse me! Do you have your fare?”

    Passenger: “Yeah. Here.” *shows the driver a handful of change*

    Driver: “Okay.”

    Passenger: “Okay.” *starts walking away again without putting the fare into the box*

    Driver: “Excuse me! What about your fare?”

    Passenger: *annoyed* “I have it right here!” *shows the handful of change again*

    Driver: “The fare goes in the box!”

    Passenger: “But I have my fare!”

    Driver: “And it goes in the box!”

    Passenger: *puts the change into the box, grumbling* “But I have my fare…”

    All Snowing, Not All Knowing

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    Man: “Hey, bro. Do you know when the number seven bus is coming?”

    Me: “It should’ve been here five minutes ago.”

    Man: “Un-f******-believable. I bet you anything the driver’s a woman or old.”

    Me: “Um… or this heavy snow delayed the bus, as it has for the last two days.”

    (Five minutes later…)

    Man: “F*** sakes, I got places to be. B**** needs to hurry up!”

    Me: “Calm down, man. You don’t know what happened.”

    Man: “Stop trying to stick up for these f****** lazy-a** drivers.”

    (I decide not to bother. Ten minutes later the bus arrives. We get on.)

    Man: “F****** finally. We’ve been waiting for an hour in the snow!”

    Driver: “I’m sorry. I was delayed by an accident. Sounds pretty bad; I had to be rerouted so the ambulances could get there.”

    (The man goes silent.)

    Me: “I hope you’re f****** happy now.”

    Baby On Board (The Bus)

    | Halifax, NS, Canada | Health & Body, Top, Transportation

    (I am 27 weeks pregnant and starting to have contractions. I am on the bus on my way to the hospital. The driver is aware of this. I pull the buzzer to get off the bus and start walking to the door.)

    Driver: *to me* “You sit back down!” *to the rest of the bus* “Is anyone going to need any of the next four stops? Because if so, I suggest you get off now, as we are detouring!”

    (The driver then takes us directly to the hospital. He stops the bus, gets out of his seat, walks me down the steps, and into the hospital! The next day I am still in the hospital. I call up the transit office.)

    Me: “Hi, yes. I was on bus [number] yesterday evening and the driver detoured from his route for me. I just wanted to make sure he is not in trouble. Because of him, they were able to save the life of my unborn son!”

    Transit Employee: “No worries, miss. We only got one complaint from a passenger. The driver called us as soon as he got back with everyone on the bus. He has been given a commendation for his actions yesterday. Thank you for calling, and take care!”

    Putting The Dire Into Directions, Part 2

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, Transportation

    (I’m boarding passengers at a stop.)

    Passenger: “Excuse me, do you go to [street]?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m going in the other direction.”

    Passenger: “Ugh! I was told that bus [number] goes to [street], but you’re the third one I’ve asked, and they all say they’re going in the opposite direction!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, because all of the traffic on this side of the street goes in that direction. You need to board on the other side of the street to catch buses going in that direction.”

    Passenger: “But you’re bus [number]! You should be going that direction!”

    Me: “The bus routes go both directions, ma’am. You need bus [number] eastbound, on the other side of the street. Actually, I can see it just a few blocks down right now. If you just cross here to that stop right across the street, you can catch it in just a moment.”

    Passenger: “Oh, no, no, I don’t want to go all the way to the other side. I guess I’ll just have to keep on waiting. But if the right bus doesn’t come soon, I’m going to be very annoyed!”

    Related:
    Putting The Dire Into Directions

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